The title may sound weird but it brought warmth to my heart as Paul shares the story with me.
It's about this father who has a whiny child and all those time he just said along the lines of be good. not to his son but to himself. He then sang a song he made up himself to his son of how his son mattered to him from shop to shop. It didn't matter that he was out of tune and it didn't matter that it wasn't all that pleasant to the ear but his son simmered down. when they got to the car the boy asked his father to sing him the song again.
It's the same with God's love for us. No matter how much we may complain about our lives, grumble, or whine, our Heavenly Father who loves us more then anything else is really patient and singing this song to us wooing and courting us.
listening to the story and Paul explaining it to me, I felt God's love surround me. It was just like the other time when Paul text me that God missed me. Tears welled up and it is more then I can bear. it's overwhelming. Like the song in my previous post. I want to be found in His love and I know He has been ever patient and faithful while I just grumble and complain, failing Him in more then one way.
I pray that I can live my life constantly asking God to sing me that song. Lord I love you and miss you.
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Sunday, 1 January 2012
The More I Seek You
GOOD MORNING TO 2012!
It has been a blessed start for me this 2012 with the Lord as I worship yesterday in the presence of God during Service. It's sort of an expression of this song "The More I Seek You"
The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kari_jobe/#share
I find myself captivated in His presence as I focused on His Love, Grace and His unrelenting chase after me. He has yet to give up on me and I find Him continually wooing and tugging at my heart. A few weeks back I told Paul through message that I miss God. I just seem to have walked so far away from Him. He replied back that God misses me too and I almost broke down in tears. There was something within me that recognized that it is the truth. He misses me too. Since then I've been wanting a break through. The short Church camp trip that I went didn't see me getting what I wanted but I just thought that it was a stepping stone from which I was able to experience what I experienced with Him yesterday.
I practically wailed and cried my heart out. I was crying out of shame, out of a heart that wanted God, that was so amazed by His Love and how much He has for me. I cried like a baby and I wailed and I wailed. It was such a release. It was so wonderful that I wanted more. The More I seek You, The More I find you, the more I find you, the more I LOVE YOU(LORD)! =')
His love for me so deep and real that I can't stand it and broke into tears after 2 praise songs. I've always felt that for you to tear during worship isn't too difficult. But praise? Praise which is uplifting, high tempo, cheerful? The moments that I have been truly touched by God, it wasn't the songs, the atmosphere that made me cry. It was the simple fact that God was here. He came! That's more then I can bear. The moments when I could feel His hands upon my face cupping them and assuring me of His love and presence. The peace that rest upon my heart, the lifting up of all the burdens off my shoulders in that moment is just so overwhelming!
You have to experience it to know what I'm talking about. The Lord is Good. Worship Him with this song and let His overwhelming peace melt you.
It has been a blessed start for me this 2012 with the Lord as I worship yesterday in the presence of God during Service. It's sort of an expression of this song "The More I Seek You"
The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/k/kari_jobe/#share
I find myself captivated in His presence as I focused on His Love, Grace and His unrelenting chase after me. He has yet to give up on me and I find Him continually wooing and tugging at my heart. A few weeks back I told Paul through message that I miss God. I just seem to have walked so far away from Him. He replied back that God misses me too and I almost broke down in tears. There was something within me that recognized that it is the truth. He misses me too. Since then I've been wanting a break through. The short Church camp trip that I went didn't see me getting what I wanted but I just thought that it was a stepping stone from which I was able to experience what I experienced with Him yesterday.
I practically wailed and cried my heart out. I was crying out of shame, out of a heart that wanted God, that was so amazed by His Love and how much He has for me. I cried like a baby and I wailed and I wailed. It was such a release. It was so wonderful that I wanted more. The More I seek You, The More I find you, the more I find you, the more I LOVE YOU(LORD)! =')
His love for me so deep and real that I can't stand it and broke into tears after 2 praise songs. I've always felt that for you to tear during worship isn't too difficult. But praise? Praise which is uplifting, high tempo, cheerful? The moments that I have been truly touched by God, it wasn't the songs, the atmosphere that made me cry. It was the simple fact that God was here. He came! That's more then I can bear. The moments when I could feel His hands upon my face cupping them and assuring me of His love and presence. The peace that rest upon my heart, the lifting up of all the burdens off my shoulders in that moment is just so overwhelming!
You have to experience it to know what I'm talking about. The Lord is Good. Worship Him with this song and let His overwhelming peace melt you.
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
How to Conquer a Secret Thought Life....written by Patrick Morley & David Delk
How to Conquer a Secret Thought Life....written by Patrick Morley & David Delk
Almost every man struggles with the temptation of secret sin. Lust, bitterness, pornography, anger, selfishness all of us have private areas where we are especially vulnerable. Many men fight against these sins for years without significant change. Why is overcoming secret sin so difficult?
THE ISSUES OF VISIBILITY AND AWARENESS
I would rather go to jail than be seen in a bar. Frankly, the reasons are not spiritual, but selfish. I don't want my reputation to be tarnished, so I categorically avoid bars. This has less to do with what Jesus might think than what my friends might think.
The visibility of our speech and actions helps us keep these in line. Visibility brings a certain level of self-discipline. We all want to get along with others and have a good reputation, and these ambitions keep us in check.
In contrast, the low visibility of our private thought life has no peer pressure, no accountability, only self-discipline and dependence upon the Spirit. What is the result of low visibility? We lead a secret thought life, often unruly, which we would find embarrassing for others to know about.
Low awareness sins are blind spots such as pride, resentment, bitterness, and envy. These low awareness areas are fierce battlegrounds in our minds. The Psalmist inquires, "Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults … Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression" (Psalm 19:12-13). You can't beat an enemy you don't see.
THE VISIBILITY/AWARENESS CONNECTION
This figure shows the relationship between visibility and awareness. Visibility is oriented to the external world "others" while awareness is oriented to the internal world "me."
In general, the more visible a sin, the easier it is to control. Before I received the Lord, every other word had four letters imaginatively arranged. I became acutely aware of the sinfulness of this coarse language because of its high visibility. In contrast, my ambition to control my own destiny without anyone's help, including God's, escaped my awareness for many years, aided and abetted by its low visibility.
While the visibility of some sins motivates us to change, we can't change things of which we are not aware. Awareness of sin depends upon the degree to which we are leading an unexamined life. An increasing sensitivity and awareness of sin helps us stop sinning.
Let's look at what happens when visibility and awareness are combined.
High Visibility/High Awareness - These sins are the most blatant - sins that anyone (even the nonbeliever) would recognize as wrong. Notice how our high visibility sins are usually sins of speech and actions.
Once a friend started an affair which everyone, including his wife, knew about. He was approached by some of his friends to abandon this highly visible affair. He was very aware of what he was doing but would not stop.
High Visibility/Low Awareness - These sins are often the sins of nonbelievers, but not always. A man became a Christian, but after several years he still was known for temper tantrums at work. When approached, he said he thought it was perfectly normal to let off steam. No one had ever made him aware that anger can be a sin.
Low Visibility/High Awareness - Low visibility problems are where our secret thought life spawns itself unfettered. Every Christian man harbors some low visibility/high awareness sins. "I know my attraction to pornography is wrong, but I just can't seem to stop."
Once a friend offered to help me obtain a business loan. But when I went for his help, I couldn't get him to follow up. My feelings were wounded. I was angry beyond forgiveness, and I soon found myself bitter and resentful. I didn't have the courage to confront him, so I just festered.
I was aware of this sin in my secret thoughts, but its low visibility didn't require me to account to anyone. Finally, the conviction by the Holy Spirit became so strong that I reconciled the relationship.
Low Visibility/Low Awareness - The most sly sins of all are the low visibility/low awareness ones. Not only does no one else see it, we don't either. And since we rarely examine our lives or allow others access to our inner selves, we can be oblivious to our sinful attitudes.
Recently, I realized I am a "critiquer." I critique everything; people, buildings, cars, clothes, landscaping, colors nothing escapes the critique. That alone would be no problem, but I add to my critique a comparison to myself. So, very subtly, I put others down to make myself feel better. I was not aware of this sinful pride for many years.
HOW TO OVERCOME SECRET SIN
Here are four suggestions for overcoming secret sin:
Remember there is no "secret sin." God knows every sin we commit. We may hide our sin from others, but we can never hide our sin from God.
A pastor asked his youth, "Would you do the things in the back seat on your dates if Jesus was in the front seat? Well, he's not in the front seat he's in the back seat with you!"
Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. God is with us, even when we commit secret sin. We should fear God more than men. "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell" (Mat 10:28).
Look at the end of the road that you have started down in your secret sin. No one who commits adultery leaves home in the morning a happily married man and suddenly decides to sleep with a stranger. No one is a satisfied employee one minute and the next decides to embezzle thousands from his company. Adultery usually begins when a man develops emotional ties with a woman who is not his wife. Embezzlement comes after long periods of bitterness, lack of contentment, and greed.
You may think your secret sin is minor, but where will it lead in a month, six months, five years? Secret sins are like an addiction it inevitably takes more and more to satisfy our cravings. Like a river rushing towards a waterfall, secret sins gather strength the farther we go downstream.
When Satan tempts us, he offers the bait but hides the hook. Momentary pleasure can become bitter for eternity. If you are involved in secret sin, consider if the short-term pleasure is worth the long-term consequences.
Confess your sin to an accountability partner as well as anyone you have sinned against. "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Secret sin is particularly enticing because it is hidden from other people.
Letting someone in on our secret helps stop private sin in its tracks. If you have been involved with pornography, find an appropriate time and confess your sin to your wife. This may be hard she will be angry or hurt or both, but honesty can bring healing in your relationship.
Typically, we don't want to let anyone in on our secret sins because we are ashamed. Allowing shame to control us gives in to the propaganda of the devil. Everyone knows I am a sinner no one will be surprised. And they know the evil of which I am capable, because they know their own hearts.
Knowing God has forgiven even our secret sins can free us to overcome our shame and confess these sins to appropriate people. This can be a liberating experience, as if a heavy burden were removed from our backs. A word of caution prayerfully consider to whom and what sins you will confess. Making yourself vulnerable always involves risk, so use wisdom and discretion. Still, this accountability brings visibility and feedback that empowers us to stand firm.
Avoid situations where you will be tempted to secret sin. "Flee youthful lusts" (2 Timothy 2:22). You can't drown in the sea if your feet don't get in the water. And you won't be tempted to get in if you never go to the beach.
If you struggle with pornography, don't linger near the magazine racks. If you travel, ask the front desk to turn off access to the pornographic movies in your hotel room. If you have a problem with bitterness and greed, don't be the one to take the company's deposit to the bank.
This is not a call for legalistic rule making; rather we should set wise standards that help us avoid temptation. Make concrete decisions about the places you will go and the things you will do. Share these standards with someone and ask for help in sticking to them.
CONCLUSION
The goal of our secret thought life should be to be holy as He is holy. We must be ruthless in dealing with secret sin and take drastic measures to root it out of our lives "…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1). May God empower you to win the battles you face.
Almost every man struggles with the temptation of secret sin. Lust, bitterness, pornography, anger, selfishness all of us have private areas where we are especially vulnerable. Many men fight against these sins for years without significant change. Why is overcoming secret sin so difficult?
THE ISSUES OF VISIBILITY AND AWARENESS
I would rather go to jail than be seen in a bar. Frankly, the reasons are not spiritual, but selfish. I don't want my reputation to be tarnished, so I categorically avoid bars. This has less to do with what Jesus might think than what my friends might think.
The visibility of our speech and actions helps us keep these in line. Visibility brings a certain level of self-discipline. We all want to get along with others and have a good reputation, and these ambitions keep us in check.
In contrast, the low visibility of our private thought life has no peer pressure, no accountability, only self-discipline and dependence upon the Spirit. What is the result of low visibility? We lead a secret thought life, often unruly, which we would find embarrassing for others to know about.
Low awareness sins are blind spots such as pride, resentment, bitterness, and envy. These low awareness areas are fierce battlegrounds in our minds. The Psalmist inquires, "Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults … Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression" (Psalm 19:12-13). You can't beat an enemy you don't see.
THE VISIBILITY/AWARENESS CONNECTION
This figure shows the relationship between visibility and awareness. Visibility is oriented to the external world "others" while awareness is oriented to the internal world "me."
In general, the more visible a sin, the easier it is to control. Before I received the Lord, every other word had four letters imaginatively arranged. I became acutely aware of the sinfulness of this coarse language because of its high visibility. In contrast, my ambition to control my own destiny without anyone's help, including God's, escaped my awareness for many years, aided and abetted by its low visibility.
While the visibility of some sins motivates us to change, we can't change things of which we are not aware. Awareness of sin depends upon the degree to which we are leading an unexamined life. An increasing sensitivity and awareness of sin helps us stop sinning.
Let's look at what happens when visibility and awareness are combined.
High Visibility/High Awareness - These sins are the most blatant - sins that anyone (even the nonbeliever) would recognize as wrong. Notice how our high visibility sins are usually sins of speech and actions.
Once a friend started an affair which everyone, including his wife, knew about. He was approached by some of his friends to abandon this highly visible affair. He was very aware of what he was doing but would not stop.
High Visibility/Low Awareness - These sins are often the sins of nonbelievers, but not always. A man became a Christian, but after several years he still was known for temper tantrums at work. When approached, he said he thought it was perfectly normal to let off steam. No one had ever made him aware that anger can be a sin.
Low Visibility/High Awareness - Low visibility problems are where our secret thought life spawns itself unfettered. Every Christian man harbors some low visibility/high awareness sins. "I know my attraction to pornography is wrong, but I just can't seem to stop."
Once a friend offered to help me obtain a business loan. But when I went for his help, I couldn't get him to follow up. My feelings were wounded. I was angry beyond forgiveness, and I soon found myself bitter and resentful. I didn't have the courage to confront him, so I just festered.
I was aware of this sin in my secret thoughts, but its low visibility didn't require me to account to anyone. Finally, the conviction by the Holy Spirit became so strong that I reconciled the relationship.
Low Visibility/Low Awareness - The most sly sins of all are the low visibility/low awareness ones. Not only does no one else see it, we don't either. And since we rarely examine our lives or allow others access to our inner selves, we can be oblivious to our sinful attitudes.
Recently, I realized I am a "critiquer." I critique everything; people, buildings, cars, clothes, landscaping, colors nothing escapes the critique. That alone would be no problem, but I add to my critique a comparison to myself. So, very subtly, I put others down to make myself feel better. I was not aware of this sinful pride for many years.
HOW TO OVERCOME SECRET SIN
Here are four suggestions for overcoming secret sin:
Remember there is no "secret sin." God knows every sin we commit. We may hide our sin from others, but we can never hide our sin from God.
A pastor asked his youth, "Would you do the things in the back seat on your dates if Jesus was in the front seat? Well, he's not in the front seat he's in the back seat with you!"
Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. God is with us, even when we commit secret sin. We should fear God more than men. "Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell" (Mat 10:28).
Look at the end of the road that you have started down in your secret sin. No one who commits adultery leaves home in the morning a happily married man and suddenly decides to sleep with a stranger. No one is a satisfied employee one minute and the next decides to embezzle thousands from his company. Adultery usually begins when a man develops emotional ties with a woman who is not his wife. Embezzlement comes after long periods of bitterness, lack of contentment, and greed.
You may think your secret sin is minor, but where will it lead in a month, six months, five years? Secret sins are like an addiction it inevitably takes more and more to satisfy our cravings. Like a river rushing towards a waterfall, secret sins gather strength the farther we go downstream.
When Satan tempts us, he offers the bait but hides the hook. Momentary pleasure can become bitter for eternity. If you are involved in secret sin, consider if the short-term pleasure is worth the long-term consequences.
Confess your sin to an accountability partner as well as anyone you have sinned against. "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy" (Proverbs 28:13). Secret sin is particularly enticing because it is hidden from other people.
Letting someone in on our secret helps stop private sin in its tracks. If you have been involved with pornography, find an appropriate time and confess your sin to your wife. This may be hard she will be angry or hurt or both, but honesty can bring healing in your relationship.
Typically, we don't want to let anyone in on our secret sins because we are ashamed. Allowing shame to control us gives in to the propaganda of the devil. Everyone knows I am a sinner no one will be surprised. And they know the evil of which I am capable, because they know their own hearts.
Knowing God has forgiven even our secret sins can free us to overcome our shame and confess these sins to appropriate people. This can be a liberating experience, as if a heavy burden were removed from our backs. A word of caution prayerfully consider to whom and what sins you will confess. Making yourself vulnerable always involves risk, so use wisdom and discretion. Still, this accountability brings visibility and feedback that empowers us to stand firm.
Avoid situations where you will be tempted to secret sin. "Flee youthful lusts" (2 Timothy 2:22). You can't drown in the sea if your feet don't get in the water. And you won't be tempted to get in if you never go to the beach.
If you struggle with pornography, don't linger near the magazine racks. If you travel, ask the front desk to turn off access to the pornographic movies in your hotel room. If you have a problem with bitterness and greed, don't be the one to take the company's deposit to the bank.
This is not a call for legalistic rule making; rather we should set wise standards that help us avoid temptation. Make concrete decisions about the places you will go and the things you will do. Share these standards with someone and ask for help in sticking to them.
CONCLUSION
The goal of our secret thought life should be to be holy as He is holy. We must be ruthless in dealing with secret sin and take drastic measures to root it out of our lives "…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1). May God empower you to win the battles you face.
Monday, 22 August 2011
What I thought was a good speech
DON'T WORK. BE HATED. LOVE SOMEONE.
----- Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008. -----
I must say thank you to... the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband. My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me. On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable. Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife. And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument. Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you. The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning. You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers. The good news is that they’re wrong. The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy. I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life. You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap. Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom. So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper. Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy. I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy. After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average. Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much. That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste. If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average. LIFE'S A MESS What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate. Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows. What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over. Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free. RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO GET A JOB. INSTEAD, PLAY. The most important is this: do not work. Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable. Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust. There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful. People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense. Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway. Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself. I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist. So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher. Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working. Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence. In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror. BE HATED. I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross. One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong. LOVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. The other side of the coin is this: fall in love. I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable. Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul. Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm. You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you. Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it. Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
----- Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008. -----
I must say thank you to... the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband. My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me. On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable. Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife. And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument. Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you. The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning. You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers. The good news is that they’re wrong. The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy. I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life. You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap. Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom. So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper. Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy. I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy. After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average. Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much. That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste. If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average. LIFE'S A MESS What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate. Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows. What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over. Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free. RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO GET A JOB. INSTEAD, PLAY. The most important is this: do not work. Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable. Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust. There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful. People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense. Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway. Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself. I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist. So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher. Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working. Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence. In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror. BE HATED. I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross. One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong. LOVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. The other side of the coin is this: fall in love. I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone. Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable. Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul. Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm. You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart. You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you. Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it. Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
The Lord Spoke!
I was just wondering and in fact was about to rebut/defend myself when I read this:
Stepping Back
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. —Proverbs 20:3
The Proverbs in Scripture are like excellent spiritual beef jerky. You take small bites and you chew on them for a long time. Meditating on Proverbs is life-training in the most practical ways. For example: Proverbs 20:3 says “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.” Honor here is that which is weighty or substantive: integrity; character; worthy of respect.
Do you want respect? Good. It is an honor, or it is worthy of respect, for a man to keep aloof. The word aloof here is the Hebrew word Shabbat. It’s actually the root word from which we get our word Sabbath. Sabbath means to cease, to desist, to rest. “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife . . . ” This means he will not join the fray; not when attacked, not even to defend himself. He will keep himself aloof.
This does not mean aloof emotionally, but aloof from . . . Do you know what? “I’m not going to get into that. I’m going to step away from this argument.” You are doing your family a favor when you maintain a sense of perspective.
I taught this verse a few years ago at church. A week or two after the sermon, one couple came up to me all smiling and happy-faced. They told me they had really taken this to heart. Like a lot of couples, they admitted to certain habitual conflicts. And they laughingly said, “We had a fight this week!” The husband continued, “Yeah. We were arguing and I was trying too hard to make my point.” She added, “He was trying to goad me into the fight, but I remembered that verse you taught us in Proverbs. So I said to him, ‘I aloof you!’ It took a moment, but we both started laughing!” Talk about detouring an argument! Isn’t that great? “I aloof you!” It worked; they seemed so happy.
There’s honor in standing aloof from meaningless strife. “We’re better than this. We have way bigger dreams than this. Let’s figure this out rather than fighting it out.” “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.”
Journal
What difference would this Proverb make in the way I currently handle conflict in my family?
How would I describe the signs of healthy versus unhealthy “aloofness”?
Prayer
Thank You, Father, for the pithy wisdom of Proverbs. You’ve graciously given us so much to chew on! Help me to move beyond thinking about these matters to the point of faithfully applying them in my relationships. And give me wisdom in those moments when I usually step into a fight to make the decision to step back, out of honor for Your Word as well as putting honor into practice. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
This is the wisdom I've been praying for so I guess I should consciously practice it. I can do it =)
Stepping Back
It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. —Proverbs 20:3
The Proverbs in Scripture are like excellent spiritual beef jerky. You take small bites and you chew on them for a long time. Meditating on Proverbs is life-training in the most practical ways. For example: Proverbs 20:3 says “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.” Honor here is that which is weighty or substantive: integrity; character; worthy of respect.
Do you want respect? Good. It is an honor, or it is worthy of respect, for a man to keep aloof. The word aloof here is the Hebrew word Shabbat. It’s actually the root word from which we get our word Sabbath. Sabbath means to cease, to desist, to rest. “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife . . . ” This means he will not join the fray; not when attacked, not even to defend himself. He will keep himself aloof.
This does not mean aloof emotionally, but aloof from . . . Do you know what? “I’m not going to get into that. I’m going to step away from this argument.” You are doing your family a favor when you maintain a sense of perspective.
I taught this verse a few years ago at church. A week or two after the sermon, one couple came up to me all smiling and happy-faced. They told me they had really taken this to heart. Like a lot of couples, they admitted to certain habitual conflicts. And they laughingly said, “We had a fight this week!” The husband continued, “Yeah. We were arguing and I was trying too hard to make my point.” She added, “He was trying to goad me into the fight, but I remembered that verse you taught us in Proverbs. So I said to him, ‘I aloof you!’ It took a moment, but we both started laughing!” Talk about detouring an argument! Isn’t that great? “I aloof you!” It worked; they seemed so happy.
There’s honor in standing aloof from meaningless strife. “We’re better than this. We have way bigger dreams than this. Let’s figure this out rather than fighting it out.” “It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.”
Journal
What difference would this Proverb make in the way I currently handle conflict in my family?
How would I describe the signs of healthy versus unhealthy “aloofness”?
Prayer
Thank You, Father, for the pithy wisdom of Proverbs. You’ve graciously given us so much to chew on! Help me to move beyond thinking about these matters to the point of faithfully applying them in my relationships. And give me wisdom in those moments when I usually step into a fight to make the decision to step back, out of honor for Your Word as well as putting honor into practice. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
This is the wisdom I've been praying for so I guess I should consciously practice it. I can do it =)
Sunday, 31 July 2011
YOUTH MINISTRY - ABLAZE! Ephesians 2:10
I am so glad that I went for youth today and got touched by the love of God. I just want to share and to encourage all that is out there that God does love you unconditionally and there is nothing that can seperate you from His love.
There's this video we watch and here's the link
http://www.skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel/?/store/detail/188/
I was halfway into the video and tears started to well up. Its as if God was speaking specifically to me. oh wait, not as if. He was and still is speaking to me about it. I am touched by His unfailling love. I am moved by His unfailling love. So much so after watching another testimony video, what God spoke to me struck so hard that when I prayed, I cried. I cried in front of everyone that was there. It was not that I'm comfortable with them but I am comfortable with God. I know that He has been there with me through all my tough times and there is not an exception. He will always be and no matter how much I disappoint Him, He will always love me and continue to chisel at me.
So to you that's reading He will continually work on you, His workmanship and masterpiece. He will continue to chisel away and its going to hurt but He knows best so TRUST Him. Always remember that He does it cause He loves you.
There's this video we watch and here's the link
http://www.skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel/?/store/detail/188/
I was halfway into the video and tears started to well up. Its as if God was speaking specifically to me. oh wait, not as if. He was and still is speaking to me about it. I am touched by His unfailling love. I am moved by His unfailling love. So much so after watching another testimony video, what God spoke to me struck so hard that when I prayed, I cried. I cried in front of everyone that was there. It was not that I'm comfortable with them but I am comfortable with God. I know that He has been there with me through all my tough times and there is not an exception. He will always be and no matter how much I disappoint Him, He will always love me and continue to chisel at me.
So to you that's reading He will continually work on you, His workmanship and masterpiece. He will continue to chisel away and its going to hurt but He knows best so TRUST Him. Always remember that He does it cause He loves you.
Saturday, 25 June 2011
Evaluation of my life
Recently, things haven't gone well for me. Relationship issues, Work, practically everything is running out of my control and I seem to be in a mess. It seems like I'm going in a cycle of hurt and disappointment in myself and its ever so vicious.
I just really want to make a commitment to really focus and get my life in order again. My mind is so filled with thoughts and so cluttered my words aren't even coherent...
I just really need to throw up all that is within. To put everything on paper and then from there sort them out.
I just hope I can really put things into order before I embark on my university studies in UniSIM. It's my chance of redeeming myself for not doing well for my A's. I really want to prove and make my Dad proud. I have been such a disappointment to have allowed myself to be overly arrogant and prideful. I was distracted and focused on other things but it was the arrogance and pride that I had within myself that told myself I'll be able to catch up that got me in that mess so LEARN from it.
I find myself ever so selfish, defensive and deceitful sometimes. I am not perfect and I know it. There's so much of me that needs to change.
Change is hard inside of me!
I just hope and pray that the Lord will never give up on me and to continue to do His work inside of me. To mould me and to make me into His likeness.
Dear Heavenly Father, I wonder what would you have me do with my life. What would you want me to deal with and how do you want me to deal with it? I do seek to please you but how do I go about doing so? Lord guide me and show me. I am confused. I am lost. I just hope you'll open up my eyes to see what You have in store for me.
I just really want to make a commitment to really focus and get my life in order again. My mind is so filled with thoughts and so cluttered my words aren't even coherent...
I just really need to throw up all that is within. To put everything on paper and then from there sort them out.
I just hope I can really put things into order before I embark on my university studies in UniSIM. It's my chance of redeeming myself for not doing well for my A's. I really want to prove and make my Dad proud. I have been such a disappointment to have allowed myself to be overly arrogant and prideful. I was distracted and focused on other things but it was the arrogance and pride that I had within myself that told myself I'll be able to catch up that got me in that mess so LEARN from it.
I find myself ever so selfish, defensive and deceitful sometimes. I am not perfect and I know it. There's so much of me that needs to change.
Change is hard inside of me!
I just hope and pray that the Lord will never give up on me and to continue to do His work inside of me. To mould me and to make me into His likeness.
Dear Heavenly Father, I wonder what would you have me do with my life. What would you want me to deal with and how do you want me to deal with it? I do seek to please you but how do I go about doing so? Lord guide me and show me. I am confused. I am lost. I just hope you'll open up my eyes to see what You have in store for me.
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