Monday, September 19, 2005

The Killers - Mr DOTA

coming out of my base
and i've been doing just fine
gotta gotta be down
because i want bottom lane
it started out with a game
how did it end up like this
it was only a game
it was only a game

now i'm falling asleep
and she's singing song of the siren
while he summons out wards
and she's taking the gold
now they're going to rax
and my stomach is sick
and it's all in my head
but he's pawning my...

teammate now
he takes his divine rapier
let me go

i just can't move
it's shackling me
and taking control

jealousy
turning clinkz into a sheep
on my way to secret shop
roshan starts to kick my bum
but it's just the price I pay
soul booster is calling me
open up my eager eyes
i'm mr DOTA


lol thought it a rather funny spoof haha : ) got it frm the genius brains of the bored souls in lectures hehe.

Monday, September 12, 2005

stress... relief?

hi all you mugger j1s. heh yr turn has come! so this is just to destress and give more creative solutions to inevitable problems - namely failing exams, but with style.
WARNING: IF YOU HAVE A SOFT, GULLIBLE MIND, PLEASE SEEK THE SUPERVISION OF A RESPONSIBLE PARENT OR GUARDIAN.
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50 Fun things to do in a final that does not matter
(i.e. you are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam)

Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

If it is a maths/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

Make paper aeroplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

Bring cheerleaders.

Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all term long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at maximum level.

On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

Bring pets.

Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For maths/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Blow this!" (or words to that effect) and walk out triumphantly.

Arrange a protest before the exam starts (i.e. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink).

Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mummy).

Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of Our Lives is on!!!"

Bring a water pistol with you. Enough said.

From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

If the exam is maths/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own lifestory.

Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

One word: Wrestlemania.

Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

Try to get people in the room to do a Mexican wave.

Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

Get deliveries of sweets, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it helps me think." Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you so".

Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks"

wow long post. but here it is! haha enjoy.
wayne

Thursday, September 01, 2005

names

Sorry me again. Check this out! i came across this on the net and guess who's name is in it? haha! read on. i took this excerpt from this website: http://www.ivenus.com/family/features/cradle_wk38.asp
pardon me ok... i'm bored--doing written report now. don't ask me how this page came up. i was searching for stuff on stroke but this appeared. haha.

What's in a name?
A name is one of the most important factors in your child's emotional development and it can even affect their health.
British physician Dr Trevor Weston discovered that people in the S-Z surname range are three times more prone to heart disease and have a shorter life span.
When a child is given a name that is an object of ridicule, he is placed on the defensive and has to fight for it, some doctors believe. Examples are names like Precious, which invites ridicule, and Howard, which may have snobbish overtones. Unisex names, such as Kim, Gary, Terri and Gene, are also unwise choices.
The shortening of Christian names spells trouble, too. Shortening William to Bill or Will is all right, but experts say males called Billy or Willy feel robbed of their dignity.
Boys called Rory or Chuck are more likely to be interested in rough and tumble games and football than boys called Nigel or Julian, who may be more bookish types.
A study undertaken by Georgia University revealed that teachers consistently gave lower marks to Elmers and Huberts than they did to Michaels and Davids.
Girls with pretty and popular names were reckoned to lose out in the job stakes. While they might be huge successes in the modelling or pop world (look at Madonna and Kylie Minogue), they were less likely to make it big in business.
Passing judgement
Psychiatrists make unconscious judgements based on patient's first names. This was revealed in a study undertaken by Dr Luke Birmingham, a senior lecturer in forensic psychiatry in England. It indicated young men with middle-class names fared best. Men called Matthew tended to be taken more seriously than those called Wayne.
Dr Birmingham also selected the 150 most popular names given to babies in 1974. Here again, poor old Wayne fell down. Wayne and Tracey were rated as the least attractive names, and Matthew and Fiona the most attractive.

oh well. too bad eh. =)

lalala

got this from an email...just thought i'd share it with you all. =)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question. "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?" The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning." In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on glove and played in the outfield. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. Should they, at this juncture, let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman. Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!" By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home. Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay, run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team. "That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world and to his."

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces. If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." -Galatians 2:20

so well. there it is. touching story. hope ya'all like it and think about it!
cheers!

some advice...

(1) choose the right time to study on the train. just before and after office hours are bad.

(2) try to get a corner seat. if not u'd have two ppl kaypoh-ing over your shoulder to see what u're reading. trust me. i always do that to others. stress them out.

(3) i think you're lucky zhe but everytime i take the train, either some fat lady or a DOM or sweaty army boys will sit next to me. no cute guys/girls seated opposite. they all have private transport.

(4) choose the right train to take. the east-west line has quite a fair bit of underground stations. so not much scenery to speak of. just don't take the NEL.

(5) argh! i don't have student fare anymore!!!