Tis the season

We're in full holiday swing mode over here. I sort of kind of wish that I have stayed good at keeping my blog updated, but way too many priorities come before it. At least I'm still writing in my kid's journals. Anyhow, I LOVE Christmas! And the kids do too. Even though things are a lot different this year, I can't tell you how much joy the spirit of Christmas brings me. Somehow what is really important is really all that matters. I mean, I'm still all about traditions. We have Princess Elf that comes and goes from the North Pole every day (she doesn't do anything fancy, but find a new spot to sit and watch the kids make their choices.) We have our advent calendars, we're decorating, looking at Christmas lights, singing Christmas songs, and watching Christmas movies. Most importantly, we're talking about Jesus. We're talking about the miracle of His birth and how He was born in a stable to a sweet, fair Mother and a protective, caring Father. We're talking about shepherds seeing angels and wisemen bringing special gifts. We're talking about a bright star and all the signs of Christ's birth. We're talking about why it is so important to remember Jesus and how He changed the world. All of this talking and trying to get the right message across to my kids has been the perfect reminder to me of the perfect love of our Savior. I'm remembering how Jesus was once an infant with a mother and father to take of Him and how amazing it is that we are provided the perfect opportunities to have a Christ-like love. How I want the faith and strength that Mary had! She didn't know what would happen to them. She just knew to listen, obey, and to remember why she was carrying this child. I'm remembering to look at my kids and see their beauty more often, be patient, and more loving. I'm remembering that what makes a house a home is the Spirit that dwells there. I'm remembering that because of that first Christmas I am capable of anything life throws at me. Our perfect Savior was born in an imperfect world and will come again. I'm remembering that Christ is there for me, to lift me, to teach me, and help me be who I want and need to become, which is more like Him. Life is challenging and often times seems extremely complex. Christmas can even be complicated and stressful. However, Jesus Christ is simple. Bringing Him into our homes can make life more simple too.
I don't have a lot of money to spend on presents and I don't know where my life is headed. I DO have a family to love and nurture though and I KNOW with every part of my Soul that Jesus was born for me. I LOVE Christmas!!! I hope all of you are enjoying it too!

miracles

I have something stewing inside of me, just feelings in my heart to share. I may need to start a new blog to get all the real-ness and intent of my thoughts and feelings out, but this is what I have for now.

This is something on miracles. Do you think of and recognize them in your every day life? I was talking to one of my dearest friends not too long ago when she said, "you have to have angels with you, Chelsie." That hit me, because through every bit of dark, lonely, excruciatingly painful experiences, there has been a God and Savior pulling me to rise above it. Somehow, someway, no matter how depressed and overwhelmed I have felt, I have been able to be a good mom to my kids. After the sleepless, tear-filled nights, there was always a morning that I managed to embrace. And now, day by day, little by little, I am healing and finding happiness while dealing with the challenges and exhaustion of being a mom.

I have been through deep awful times the last few years, but I recognize how I have been saved and blessed just as often. I wouldn't be who I am without Christ, angels at my side, and miracles testifying that I have a heavenly father who loves me and has a plan for me. He has a plan for all of us. If any of these feelings sound familiar to you, don't ever lose hope in your Christ. There is an endless amount of his love to gain and know. I have only begun to understand what His love means for me and my life. How powerful this is! When I have been in the midst of a storm and crying out to God, asking how He could let this happen, He had already provided a way to make it all right. Knowing this helps me keep my faith.

Tomorrow I'm going to be a present, patient mom and ignore any thoughts or triggers that could be destructive, and that will be a miracle.

It will be a miracle to smile, laugh, and be truly happy.

I'll accomplish all I have set before me, day after day, with peace in my soul. That is a miracle.

I am a believer in miracles; they're changing me.

What's in a name?

Picking names for my kids wasn't much of a big deal for me. I know it can be for a lot of people and that some people don't even pick a name until their baby is born. I think however your naming process goes is great as long as it works for you. My picking a name process went like this: I like that name, I can't see my baby being any other name, that is going to be his/her name. It was quite simple.

Since my kids have been born, are getting a little older, and their personalities are blossoming and shining through, their names mean so much to me. Sky, Truly, Raef. What would I do without these names in my life? 

Sky made me a mom 3.5yrs ago and how drastically my life has changed since that day. I always wanted to be a mom, but I didn't understand the immense joy, worry, exhaustion, and love that i would feel. Synonyms to Sky are heaven and blue. Since the day she was born, I have felt the windows of heaven open up towards me. Being a mom has changed my entire outlook on life, given me purpose, and a reason to draw closer to God, and heaven, if you will, to raise His daughter. Sky is such a special spirit. She is a wonderful example to me of pure love. I look into her blue eyes every day and am grateful for her. 

I knew I was going to have another girl before I got pregnant with Truly. I felt her Spirit and knew I wanted to name her Truly before I was even pregnant. My whole pregnancy and delivery with her was perfect in my eyes. She was also a perfect baby, my easiest so far. I have always had an easy and natural time getting along with Truly. Everyone loves her. She came at a time in my life when I really needed her sweet spirit. Truly; genuinely, sincerely, truthfully. I believe she will continue to exemplify sincerity and truth through her life. Without a doubt, I know she is meant for me, even for Sky and Raef. 

I knew I was having a boy from the moment I got pregnant with Raef. I was so excited to have a boy and fell in love with his name. The Arabic meaning of Raef is forgiving. The Hebrew meaning of Raef is God has Healed. I can't even begin to describe how fitting that meaning is to him and our lives. Raef came at a very crazy time in my life. From his abrupt birth till our unknown present, he has been healing my heart in so many ways. I felt guilty a handful of times for getting pregnant with Raef, but I know he is supposed to be here and that he has a great purpose to fulfill. God is forgiving and does heal. Raef reminds me of that.

God is in the details of our lives. He is in the details of my life. I believe He his in the details of my kid's names. 

A few lessons from hard times

So I haven't posted in a long time and some of you are probably aware of why. if anybody is worried... I'm doing fine and the kids are cuter than ever. ;)

I just wanted to express some feeling that I've been having about life. I think all of us are experiencing something that's hard.  Whether traumatic or not, it's hard to us. A lot of times nobody knows what is really going on with you or your life. I've experienced  a lot of that. Sometimes we do our best and be our best around others that nobody knows the hurt, pain, and struggles that you're facing. I have learned first hand about the feeling of having support and love from your friends and family that know your struggles and are there for you through it all. It makes it so much easier than doing it alone. 

I have also learned that we, as a people and society, judge each other WAY too much! Being judged hurts. End of story. For the most part, we are all doing the best that we can and all we need is support and encouragement, not judgment. Nobody understands fully what we've gone through/are going through, and why we've done something or are making the decisions we are. Nobody knows what's right or wrong for you. That's up to you and God. As much as I've even wished in life that somebody would know and be able to tell me what's best for me, nobody can. That's something we have to learn in this life. This is why I'm especially grateful for the gospel and all it entails. Prayer, the scriptures, the temple, priesthood blessings, and priesthood leaders have all been such strength to me in times of need. Especially times where I Need the Holy Ghost in my life in extra amounts. My eyes have been intensely opened to the world of judgment, and I will do all I can to not judge another person for their decisions or life choices. It is between them and God.

Another lesson I have recently learned is that no two people are the same or have the same life. I cannot stand when people compare each other. Comparing is very similar to judging, but it has a different feel to it. Someone may think they are being helpful or informative by comparing your situation to theirs or someone that they know. Maybe it isn't such a big deal to some people, but I know at least with me, being compared to someone else has made me feel invalidated, almost as if my feelings, life, and circumstances don't count on their own degree. It also hurts. We're all living our own life, with our own unique experiences and abilities. That counts and I hope to make others feel it does.

Maybe this is all a little scatterbrained, but I know that the atonement is real. Whatever you are facing, Christ is always there. I feel extremely blessed to have the friends and family I do at this time in my life. I cherish their friendship like they wouldn't believe. I went far too long without opening up to a friend, but I have always had my Savior. The gospel is about experiencing true joy, and as silly as it sounds, it has taken me a while to learn life doesn't have to be perfect to have peace and joy. I'll never be perfect here and my life will never be perfect, but I know that God rejoices in our righteousness, not our misery. Hopefully other times in life will be easier to find the peace and joy we all want, but when it's tough, it is still available. I have a lot I could complain about, but I also know how blessed I am to have the life that is transforming me into the person I need to be.

I'm learning much, folks. Thanks for listening.

24

Some random facts:
2months ago, today, I turned 24.

I was a mom to 3kids at the age of 23 for 2months and 5 days. Ha!

I've decided I'm embracing every year I turn a year older, because all of my friends that are in their 30's say 30's are way better than 20's. i decided to believe them. 24 makes me sounds so much more mature, right?

2months have done me a lot of good. I'm feeling like myself so much more these days.

I like boring and useful presents... Something I'll use all the time and have been wanting.

I think flowers and such are a waste of money. Not dark chocolate though. Good, rich chocolate is always worth the money.

Raef had only been home for 6weeks when my birthday came. The best present I could have asked for was Austin coming home to help me finish my table. He knows me so well.

After a 2month wait, we finally had a garage sale (that we originally planned on having the weekend Raef was born) and we were able to buy chairs for our table this weekend! Wahoo! No more eating on plastic lifetime chairs! I'm so happy.

I'm already thinking about how I'll do my kitchen in our next house and how my table will look with it. For reals. I'm a crazy, but we have been talking about moving a lot if it justifies that.

I have an obsession

And it's ISR.

Seriously. For those of you that are LDS, you know the feeling of wanting to tell everyone about the gospel? That's how I feel about ISR (Infant Swimming Resource.) I feel so lucky to have been able to put my girls through this program. I couldn't imagine having an AZ summer without my kids being fish and not being able to feel comfortable around pools and such. Like I've said before, it's a big time and financial commitment, but IT WORKS. (Austin and I are also big believers in if there's a will, there's a way, and we've always been able to come up with money for ISR.) Without a doubt, every baby and toddler comes out of there learning what they were supposed to. My girls have learned safety around water, how to enjoy it,what their boundaries are, and how to save themselves if they were to ever fall in if someone wasn't around. Oh, and Truly has only done a total of 10 weeks in 2 years and Sky has done 11 weeks in 3 years. I really am grateful for it and their teacher, Angelee. ISR saves many kids lives. I wish I had a pool right now, so I could be an instructor myself. Maybe one day. Would you send your kids to me? Pretty please?? Anyway, there's my confession... now onto  some pics of my adorable girls and their sweet skills,  mostly courtesy of Angelee Holt. (I have lots of videos, but for some reason uploading to blogger has been crazy difficult for me. I can put more on facebook if you'd like to see some good stuff. :)

 

 

 

 



Beauty and the Beast

I've been waiting to take Sky to a musical from the time I found out she was a girl. Not that I couldn't take a boy, but this is the kind of stuff I did with my mom. I loved being an only girl and doing on the special stuff that comes with being a girl with my mom or dad. I am glad Sky has Truly for a sister... They balance each other out perfectly. It's just so fun to be able to start doing the girl stuff with her and making memories.

Austin and I took Skylin to see Beauty and the Beast at Gammage this month and we had a blast! Sky got dressed up like a princess in her own attire and she felt extra special just being with mom and dad. She did really well sitting through it (we brought lots of snacks) especially considering we haven't even taken her to the theatre yet. Movies just aren't as exciting as musicals, ok? She said her favorite part was the dancing and she still talks about it. It was a fun day out! Love my sweet Skylin and her wonderful daddy. I hope we can always be friends like I am with my mom.