if i could tell the world how i felt. i would say...

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Song..

Listen to the song..the pre-chorus and chorus reminds me so much of the holy spirit!! i'll laborate more another time..for now i must go catch my beauty sleep lol good night!(or shld i say good morning..) :)

Remembering On|1:47 AM|

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

Cell group today..

well today's msg was a simple one..yet it has made a great impact in me..i think it was all of her sidetracking (joyce if u r reading this now you know all ur sidetracking doesn't go to waste lol) yea i think i made a point that i really want to gain something out of this msg today and i really did..she talked about her shining for God in drama and not juz for the fame..and i could relate it to my situation with being an ambassador for sp..if i wanna do it i wanna make sure that it's for God not for the glory it gets..well that msg was also how powerful our memory is..we belittle it and don't think much about it but in actual fact it has such a tremendous power to change our lives "correct memory can ignite great faith!!" how amazing is that?? she made me remember that word that God had given to me when i was leading south cluster through pastor phil..he said there is always a resurrection after death like when Jesus died on the cross and resurrected on the third day..and it was really true..it really worked like most of you have seen..south cluster has won both championships..and this is somehting i will alwyas cling on to..the 2 main phrases that i cling on to are phil 4:13 i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and there is always a ressurection after death simle as it may seem it has changed me a lot and made me who i am today..

Remembering On|2:15 AM|

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Friday, July 29, 2005

The Winter Season

Yea the winter season of my spiritual life has arrived..and i'm telling you it sux..lol yea..dun like it..but what can i do..i still have to go thru it..oh well i love God and what He's doing in the south cluster prayer meeting..you know eventhough there are very few pple gg but yet i can feel Him moving..slowly but surely He's changing south..i can feel it..pple come and get blessed and changed and things happen in their lives..they get encouraged i feel that what i've done has a purpose in not just my life but in each and evey person who comes..i can see the change..pple are happier..they are more lively..they joy of the Lord and His peace is there..i know some of you dun see it..maybe cuz i'm leading that's why i'm more sensitive to these things but i start to see that this prayer meeting that i hold is not by chance but definitely in God's will..i think that's what's keeping me going..prayer really does change the world..and i'm gonna keep it up..i really hope that the south outreach will truly be a success and the impossible will become possible!!

Remembering On|12:22 AM|

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Accountable...

How many of us can really say that we are accountable to our leaders? Maybe a handful? I myself haven't been accountable..Hensa tells me that south should be more accountable but when i look at myself i have nothing to say..i have never been accountable to anyone..other than God cuz i know He knows everything and there's nothing to hide so might as well haha..but i never can say that i've been accountable at all to anyone..not even to my own parents..i'm a person who tends to shy away from pple who are in authority..i dunno why maybe it's the culture i grew up in..i actually want to be accoutable and it's really gonna take courage but maybe i dun want it bad enough cuz if i did i wld have done something about it which i haven't..i really want to tell someone whom i'm comfortable with everything..but i'm suppose to be accountable to my leader whom i'm not too comfortable with..there's nothing wrong with my leader..she's really friendly and great but i always have this mentality that i have to be good in front of my leader..i can't let my leader see my mistakes my bad side..i dunno why i've had that mentality since young..no one told me that it was wrong..in fact it was pretty much encouraged..i dunno..confused..i think i should make it a point to be accountable to someone..but who?

Oh well this week's gonna be a busy busy week for me..yup real busy..ok lemme tell you my schedule for this week:
tues - extra jap class until 5pm
wed - after skool dance prac frm 3-5 after that bs in church frm 7.30-9.30
thurs - immediately after skool cip from 3-8pm
fri - immediately after skool south cluster prayer meeting den south outreach meeting choir prac den overnight prayer meeting
sat - cg meeting as usual 3pm at my place
sun - church as usual
yup friday is the busiest of the busiest it's crazy ya know..madness..haha dunno how i'm gonna do it but with God all things are possible!! :D GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH!!

Remembering On|12:11 AM|

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Thursday, June 23, 2005

Victorious Living

Yup..today's the first lesson of victorious living..it was pretty last min though haha..Bro Darren's the one giving the lesson and he's really good..haha he really knows how to keep ur attention..i believe that he's one of the best teachers i've met so far in church lah that is..the way he presents it is so good that you will remember what has been taught..and he's very funny and accompany's his teaching with stories and humour so your attention is never strayed away from the lesson..haha i believe that i will enjoy my time being in Bro Darren's class lol...ciao

Remembering On|12:39 AM|

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Friday, June 10, 2005

Well done!!!

AHHHHHH SOUTH CLUSTER YOU GUYS ROCK!!!! Haha juz wanna take this opportunity to thank each and everyone of you who have put in so much effort into making this happen..and eventhough there were so many trials you guys really stuck with me..i really thank you from the bottom of my heart..each and everyone of you who have taken part in this have a played an important role be it big or small..without anyone of you it wouldn't be the same..Anyway my deepest thanks to Pastor YK who has helped me a lot and to all my core leaders who have taken emergency cab trips for this haha i know you have spent a lot but it's all worth while ain't it haha anyway i think you can claim them i juz have to ask pastor how lol..i'll be back next yr haha maybe not as an ic but a helper like pat..oh yes! and pat thank you so much i know you really put in a lot of effort for this haha i really wonder how you do it all sometimes haha shld learn from you haha..

Well emerge conference has really changed my life more dramatically than last yr..last yr was more of excitement and hipe..not that there wasn't any change in me but it's juz that this yr is much much more dramatic than last yr..haha now you have to listen to me tell a grandmother story haha..

Sometime in late april i knew i was gg to go to poly and study and from what i heard it's quite tough so i earnestly seeked God in my qt that he will really expand my capacity..when i asked that i seriously didn't know what He had in store for me and it was really something i never ever dreamed of in my entire life..and before that i was in a very comfortable zone and i never really understood what it meant to step out of my comfort zone..

After that prayer, i saw Pastor YK in church that week and he asked me to join south and help out and i readily agreed cuz i really love south..so what pastor did was give the whole of pple in south and call them up one by one..well since it was holidays for me i had lots of free time to do it..this happened in the first week of May if i'm not wrong..and on that wed was a pos briefing so the purpose of me calling them up one by one was to tell them about the briefing..

So wed came and i went down half an hr early (i didn't know i was that early until pastor told me lah..He purposely tell me that it starts at 4.30 when it starts at 5 and in the end i was there at like 4!) And before the whole thing started he said the magic sentence that will change my life..he told me that i was the south cluster ic..those words were like a bomb that exploded in my life and i was really blown away..(until now i still dunno why he chose me) at that moment i really thank God for courage and strength to be able to speak in front of my peers for i was a very timid girl and never really wanted the spotlight..

I haven't fully recovered from that bomb yet and pastor placed another bomb in my life..he told me that he told pst zhuang to make me a cell leader!! At first i thought he was joking..i mean seriously..i really thought he was joking..i have never never never thought of being a cluster ic much less a cell leader!! haha then pastor zhuang asked me my name and asked me who's my cgl..at that i juz thought it was becuz i was a south cluster ic that's why he wanted to know my name but i guess i'm wrong..so so so wrong..

That night my cell leader said she wanted to meet up with me the next day..she didn't say why or anything she juz said she wanted to meet up with me.. so i juz took it like she wanted to visit me or smth cuz that's what she does also to some of the other members so i said yes since i didn't have anything on..so we were chatting then she started to get serious she asked me whether i wanted to be cgl and that's when the second bomb exploded..i almost couldn't take it i tell you!! 2 bombs in 2 days!!! i was really blown away!! Of course i didn't ans her straight away..i needed time to think about it..it's an impt decision you know..she also advised me to do so..

Well life went on..practices started and that when the problems also started..the there were a lot of things that happened that i shall not elaborate..that really turned my life upside down..i could take all those things..the only thing that i almost made me breakdown was when bryant was admitted to the hospital..at the hospital i almost cried..but i told myself..i'm a leader and i've got a group of pple to lead..i cannot afford to breakdown at all..cuz if i do who's gonna lead them they will be in chaos..

It was also this period of time that i learned what it meant to really rely on the strength of God..this whole experience has really made me understand what it meant by resurrection after death and i learned so many things..but the best thing of all was that my capacity has truly been stretched and now i can be surer that God will never forsake me eventhough it felt like He did and His love never fails..i'm sure there's definitely more to come..this is not the end but only the beginning haha and i'm absolutely enjoying it..

Anyway to end of i give a shout out to south cluster : I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

Remembering On|12:17 PM|

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

I love South Cluster...

I really do love south cluster..no matter how torn or tattered or battered it is i will stick with it..maybe it's this love that has given me the capacity to take all this nonsence they are giving me..i don't feel mad with them..i juz feel heartbroken..it really sux you know when you give out so much but yet all the pple can think about is about themselves about how unjust they feel..why don't they take a step back and look at the big picture and see what i'm trying to do..i'm trying to bring out south's fullest potential..i really don't understand..maybe i should ask them why they are here? Why are they giving out so much of their time to this? If it's because their frens are here then i have nothing to say..but i'm here because Pastor YK apointed me as a leader here..even if he didn't i wld have come back to help and perform..yes it's true that there was one period of time i did want to go to sp to perform for them cuz they needed pple and south has more than enough pple than they can handle..but Hensa and Elliot pulled me back cuz they made me realize that i'm not fit to be a leader of south if i went to another cluster to help them which is true so i chose south instead of sp..my loyalty is still with south..now i'm gonna ask you where is your loyalty? If you had the chance to go to another cluster would you? If you have the chance to juz leave pos and not come back would you? i know some of you will say yes..then let me tell you this go ahead..i'm serious...i'd rather have 30 pple who are committed and are willing to put all their heart and soul into the pos than have 70 pple who only know how to gossip and think about themselves..i am here to change lives..i am here to help south cluster make a difference and this performance is suppose to help unite us not split us therefore i can only say one thing is that if you want to leave by all means go ahead..the door is there see yourselve out anyway i have so many pple i dunno what to do..all of you pple here are volunteers so if you want to leave i can't say anything..you hold the choice it's up to you..i am sick and tired of pple who can only think about themselves and only know how to push the blame to others why don't you stop blaming others and look at yoursleves..yes i may have made some terrible mistakes as a leader but i'm not perfect..and neither are you so stop putting all the blame on me and look at yourselves!

Remembering On|1:55 PM|

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