mary lease

so i'm reading about a nineteenth century political figure by the name of mary lease, who was involved in populist politics around the turn of the century. and apparently in 1890, while she was stumping for the party in kansas, she told farmers to raise less corn and more hell. haha. how awesome is that? it must have worked too because "The election of 1890 was a decisive victory of the Populists" (Lovett 29).

An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge

When I was in undergrad, in one of my English classes we watched Robert Enrico's film version of Ambrose Bierce's "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge." I remember totally falling for it (haha, unfortunate figure of speech in light of the story, but I digress) and then feeling kind of cheated at the end. For some reason, this morning the memory of watching that film came back to me and I remembered that there was a twist, but I didn't remember what it was, so I watched it again. Half of it I love--the agonizing silence, the long, upward shots of the noose--and half of it is so weird--the fact that the protagonist's desire to be "a living man" is voiced in African American dialect. It reminded me of part of Toni Morrison's argument in "Playing in the Dark," which is that the major characteristics of American literature--autonomy, freedom, masculinity, individualism, and so on--are responses to an Africanist presence in America. I'm going to quote from her, because she says it so much better than I can paraphrase it: “Black slavery enriched the country’s creative possibilities. For in that construction of blackness and enslavement could be found not only the not-free but also, with the dramatic polarity created by skin color, the projection of the not-me. The result was a playground for the imagination. What rose up out of collective needs to allay internal fears and to rationalize external exploitation was an American Africanism—a fabricated brew of darkness, otherness, alarm, and desire that is uniquely American” (38). Why is it that Enrico chooses a voice speaking in African American dialect to express the confederate sympathizer's desire to live? There is a terrible irony in this choice, since the freedom of the presumed speaker himself is at the center of the conflict that gives rise to the hanging in the first place. Like some desires--the really powerful ones--can only be expressed through a minstrel/ventriloquist type arrangement. Like the only person who can understand the intensity of the white man's desire to be 'a living man' is a slave or former slave. I'm not sure I'm posing the question very well. But if you've never seen it, you should watch it and tell me what you make of that voice-over. It's worth the 24 minutes.

Hopkins

A few nights ago, I had my friends over for a round of Book Lover's Trivial Pursuit. I got the game from a former English professor of mine, who said it was too hard to play. But we gave it our best shot. We played in teams and gave up before anyone won, but it was lots of fun. Anyway, at one point, someone said something to the effect that all writers are ass holes. Someone countered, saying surely there are some writers who aren't ass holes. And I said, "Gerard Manley Hopkins." And a moment of silence descended on the room. And we raised a glass to Gerard Manley Hopkins. Marilynne Robinson got special mention as well. Like the Word says, they will know Christians by their love. Praise be for those two excellent writers whose good reputations attest to their faith.

So, once again, here's to G.M.H. And here's my favorite of his:

My own heart let me have more have pity on; let
Me live to my sad self hereafter kind,
Charitable; not live this tormented mind
With this tormented mind tormenting yet.
I cast for comfort I can no more get
By groping round my comfortless, than blind
Eyes in their dark can day or thirst can find
Thirst ’s all-in-all in all a world of wet.

Soul, self; come, poor Jackself, I do advise
You, jaded, let be; call off thoughts awhile
Elsewhere; leave comfort root-room; let joy size
At God knows when to God knows what; whose smile
’s not wrung, see you; unforeseen times rather—as skies
Betweenpie mountains—lights a lovely mile.

Calvin on 1 John 1:9

"It is of great moment to be fully persuaded, that when we have sinned, there is a reconciliation with God ready and prepared for us: we shall otherwise carry always a hell within us. Few, indeed, consider how miserable and wretched is a doubting conscience; but the truth is, that hell reigns where there is no peace with God. The more, then, it becomes us to receive with the whole heart this promise which offers free pardon to all who confess their sins. Moreover, this is founded even on the justice of God, because God who promises is true and just."

--From Calvin's Commentaries on the Epistles

As I think I've mentioned before, historically I'd say I'm the least likely to read Calvin or catechisms, but their richness is winning me over more and more. I read this yesterday and it was a good word for me.

this far will you come but no more

after two days of feeling some desolation, this morning has been good consolation. listening to the innocence mission. and wishing for some candles, having burned out my last one yesterday night. and then i checked my mail. and lo and behold. a little autumn of omaha. in my lap. in my room. with love from a friend. the lord gives good gifts. it was like the answer to prayer i hadn't prayed yet.


I Was In The Air

Birds of every wing shall dwell within.
Birds of every wing shall dwell within.
Who raised high the lowest tree?
Who raised high the lowest tree?
Birds of every wing shall dwell within.

This far will you come but no more.
This far will you come but no more.
Who holds back the raging sea?
Who keeps trouble far from me?
This far will you come but no more.

I was in the air and you were there.
I was in the air and you were there.
Like my mother at the fair.
Like my father at the fair.
I was in the air and you were there.

-Don Peris

mmm

She conceived of life as a road down which one traveled, an easy enough road through a broad country, and that one's destination was there from the very beginning, a measured distance away, standing in the ordinary light like some plain house where one went in and was greeted by respectable people and was shown to a room where everything one had ever lost or put aside was gathered together, waiting. --Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping


**update**

speaking of things one has lost, about a year ago i took some pictures of butterflies in beaufort, sc. but when i got home, the pictures weren't on my camera. odd. well. today. almost year later, i plugged in my camera, and there they were. and here they are.

catechize me

i've never been a big catechism person. well, for one, when i was little, we went to a baptist church, and baptists don't use a catechism. but post college, i've shifted from an evangelical church to a liturgical/reformed one. but i still haven't been a big catechism person, though my church sometimes had sunday school classes on the westminster catechism and we often used parts of it in the service.

i think the word's negative connotations, especially in the verb form, were my biggest association. i imagine kids sitting rigidly while some man paces behind them, catechizing them, and if they answer incorrectly, their knuckles get rapped. that kind of thing. also there's that awful scene in "light in august" where mceachern, who i believe is presbyterian, violently catechizes poor joe. i was turned off to the point of wanting no part of it.

but i think i've been realizing lately how much i've let a strawman version of christianity make me feel shame-faced about the real thing--not jesus, but christianity as a force in the world. i forgot that the church is christ's body, whom he died and lives for, and loves. my process of distinguishing the strawman from the real body is on-going, but i'm feeling hopeful. and i've started reading the heidelberg catechism. at my parents' church a few months ago, they used part of it as their confession of faith. i loved the language of it, so i got one recently. on saturday, after spending a lot of time reading jameson's "postmodernism, or the logic of late capitalism"--which, among other things, talks about how the modernist sense of an alienated, but formerly coherent whole self gets replaced by the postmodern belief that there is no "real," let alone whole self, only infinite layers of masks--i read my catechism and received comfort.

q. what is your only comfort
in life and in death?

a. that i am not my own,
but belong--body and soul,
in life and in death--
to my faithful savior jesus christ.

he has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood,
and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.
he also watches over me in such a way
that not a hair can fall from my head
without the will of my father in heaven.
in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.

because i belong to him,
christ, by his holy spirit,
assures me of eternal life
and makes me whole-heartedly willing and ready
from now on to live for him.

thank you, labor day

this morning, on labor day, i was thinking about how this holiday is kind of the federal government's version of the sabbath. a day of rest in honor of work. it's an interesting impulse to want to honor labor. i should look into the history of labor day. anyway, here's this morning's working breakfast:



and here is some ginger i used last night to make indian peach and tomato chicken. i think the ginger looks like an ogre's toe. but i'm sure it smells and tastes better.

soooo....

is it irresponsible to see a show (that's in a city that's an hour and a half away) the night before comprehensive exams? exams aren't until 9:30 the next morning. it'll be okay, right?

from middle america

on friday i picked up the course evaluations my students filled out in English 102 last semester. one of the questions asked the students to assess my attitude toward the course. most of them said things like "enthusiastic," or whatever. but one of my students simply wrote "midwestern." that made me laugh. i'm not quite sure what that means, but i take it as a compliment.

read like the devil's on my heels

so, true to my prediction, i posted once here and then abandoned it, like a puppy in a ditch. but, like a reformed puppy owner, i'm back (?). the latest in my life is that i'm taking comprehensive exams in about a month here. one month from today, in fact. in order to be through my lists by then, i have to read 95 books (hope no one on my committee finds this!) now i do like reading, but reading under pressure has a way of taking the fun plain out of it. welp. i should get back to it.