Catch-up (part two)

Next stop on memory lane, St Andrew's and our weekend away to celebrate the end of Adam's intensive phase of chemotherapy.

We drove down on Friday afternoon, just after the boys got home from school. An hour or so of driving and we stopped off just after the bridge for a nice pub dinner, finishing up our drive by seven pm.

It was a lovely, sunny weekend--full of light and opportunities to walk outdoors, sit on benches and play on the playground.

In the evening we went on a forest walk called the Snowdrop Festival--it was put on specially by a local family and their whole estate was decorated with lights and permeated throughout by the famous snowdrop flowers. Here is Caleb "hiding" in one of the tents made by branches woven together:

On Sunday morning we accompanied Jacqueline and Ames (our hosts for the weekend) to their church where we enjoyed a traditional Church of Scotland service and a sermon about the Queen's Diamond Jubilee which is this year.

It was a great weekend and we were grateful for the Broen's hospitality and the chance to get away for the first time since Agnes' birth and Adam's diagnosis. Indeed, there was a LOT to celebrate and a lot to be grateful for still.

Choose your own adventure

When I was a kid I used to read those Choose Your Own Adventure books. You know, the ones where you read a page and make a decision about which way to go at the bottom and it directs you on to the next part of that story. In theory, every time you read it you can create a different story just by changing one of your choices. I never worked it out statistically, how many different stories were possible. I just remember being as fascinated by choosing my way to the "happy ending" as I was by my choices leading me to the abrupt "too bad, you're done" ending.

In actual fact, what I liked about those books is what you don't get with real life: the option to flip back to the front and start again if your story is not going how you want it to go. Real life is marked by choices, and those choices do influence our story for sure, but we still start every day exactly where we left off before we went to sleep. We don't go back, we don't start again. I can be as different tomorrow as I want to be, but I still take all I've "read" so far along with me.

I started thinking about all this last Friday, when I was talking to our neighbour whose father recently died after battling with cancer. She was teary and fragile, but equally pleased that in the last few weeks before her father's death they had done a lot together, made the most of their time. She had no regrets about the end of his life.

I of course started thinking about Adam, and more clearly about how we are spending our time together. I don't know anything about the future for Adam, only that right now, in this moment, I have the choice to spend time with him meaningfully, to live well so that no matter what, ten years down the line I have no regrets. I want this as much for myself as for Caleb and Agnes, who won't be thinking about the future now (blessedly!) and yet will still have memories of this time in our family's life, maybe more so for Caleb than Agnes. I want Caleb to think back and remember that we did some fun things as well as the "boring" old hospital visits. I want him to remember Adam laughing as well as shouting, crying and laying on a hospital bed.

I wasn't trying to be morbid, only to shake myself out of a little rut I'd gotten into, of getting through days rather than living them. So we took the bus and went tubing down the dry ski slope on Saturday, had fish and chips and ice cream and then Adam and I, keen to keep the party going, took the bus to a playground and hung out on the swings while watching huge black clouds bearing down on us (mercifully staying dry!) I had to carry him much of the day, as he was tired. I had to wash his hands lots and keep putting his coat on when he got cold. But we had fun.

Sunday we went to church, watched Alice in Wonderland together while the baby slept, then went for a coffee and a walk in the forest nearby. Adam rode in the buggy most of the time, holding on to rocks and throwing them into the puddles we passed. Brian raced Caleb on this mountain bike course we like, hurtling Adam at breakneck speed along the "loop-de-loops" (don't worry, he was strapped in!) They stopped now and again and waited for momma and baby, and were off like a shot once we caught up--I shouted the obligatory "be careful!" and smiled to see Adam's wings and his smile, thoroughly enjoying the ride.

So we chose our adventure this weekend, we spent loads of money and tired ourselves out and it was good. I for one will look back someday, from whatever vantage point, and say that was time and money well spent. And whether or not this weekend is as flashy, I'm grateful for the reminder that I can choose to spend it well.

p.s. here are pics to prove that we survived!

sweaty family post-tubing

she does love her front pack walks!

p.p.s: just so you don't think I'm all romantic and stuff now...two days after our epic weekend I got a call from one of the nurses at the hospital who asked how Adam was doing. Fine, I said. Why? Well, it's just that his haemoglobin (red blood cells) is 58, so we wondered if he's ok. I didn't tell her about the tubing, and I definitely didn't mention the buggy racing either!!

And then it was over

I thought I would write some when we were in Texas, but alas, we were too busy...having fun, talking, hanging on the porch enjoying the faintest breeze, watching kids race each other and splashing in the pool, eating, talking, posing for pictures, sharing snow cones on a hot afternoon, hoping for thunderstorms (that never came), talking, and so much more (talking!). No wonder sitting on the computer never even crossed my mind!!

I have to say that was a great vacation--10 days in Orlando, 3 days driving across four states to arrive in Texas for another 8 days. It was so good I can even say it emphatically after we have returned to our normal life once again. Thank you family and friends, for giving us a great gift of life, warmth (not just the heat!), fun, conversation and memories to get us through another year in Aberdeen. We love you all!

Speaking of our return, it was a wonderful trip and we are glad to be home. Caleb has already said twice today: "I can't believe we are home." I think maybe he's as delirious as the rest of us from lack of sleep, but he's right--seems like we've been away forever this time, though nothing really has changed. I asked the taxi driver if there had been any exciting events in the last three weeks. Nope. Oh well--one very exciting event restricted solely to the garden allotments on Powis Crescent is MY garden--it's huge!! I can't believe the size of the pumpkin plants, all 5 of them! We have enough lettuce to be vegetarians for life, beautiful flowering poppies, parsley that's taller than I am, carrots and strawberries out of control. Again, another gift, especially since gracious others did the watering for the last three weeks (and apparently God watered for us a few times too!)

The flight back was fine too, and again I have to say that the boys amaze me with their flexibility and tolerance of travelling. They were wonderful, and even slept for 2 solid hours on the plane. We had not even one minute of delay, no trouble with customs, and no lost baggage. Again, grateful.

And now, tired. See you all again when I can see straight!