christmas 2010 is coming!

seems that every year i have a post "christmas is coming!". hence this year i decided to add a "2010" in.

thinking about christmas, i wonder at times...Christ died for me? that is a question i sometimes ask. i have no doubt of Christ's love. i just know how bad i am. sometimes when i do certain things, i look and myself and wonder, why would Jesus die for someone so fallen? and yet, he willingly came, willingly died. amazing love. amazing grace. wow. thank you Jesus. Christmas is really about Christ. otherwise it's just mas.

christmas is coming. i realize i don't have anymore wants really. i was going to write a christmas list so that it would be easier for people who love me. but i really cannot think of much. unless anyone wants to get me a macbook pro (not that i'm not content with my wonderful macbook) or a nikon digital camera (not that i'm not content with my s7c). i still think the best gift would be a sizable contribution to the aaron-travels-europe-and-america-in-2010 fund. haha.

i blame the fact that i bought too much this year. from glasses to shades, from tee-shirts to polo tees to shirts, from suits to jackets to vest to cardigans, from watches to belts, from pants to jeans to berms to board shorts to gym shorts, from underwear to socks to shoes to ties and even ear muffs. i bought it all. literally head-to-toe. this year kinda messed my one-watch-a-year tradition up a little. i have this thing about getting a watch a year for myself. my jc friends bought me a swatch back in 2004, and from 2005, i made it a tradition to get myself a watch for my bday.
2005: fossil blue/yellow watch ($100odd)
2006: fossil red face flickering watch with black strap that i changed to white ($100odd)
2007 (21st bday): kenneth cole metal bracelet watch ($300odd, of which michael, yun and winston contributed with city chain vouchers)
2008: dkny (delayed gratification. did not buy in april but in july in new york. cost only us$40 cos it was at the outlet!)
2009: emporio armani ar4602. i LOVE this watch! (us$200)
but in 2009, i bought so many other watches. i admit i bought two other watches in 2008 but those were small, cheap and insignificant. i even lost one and cannot be bothered. but this year, aiyoooooo. spoiler man. bought too many nice watches. maybe i won't buy myself a watch for my 24th birthday next year. after half a decade, maybe i should come up with a new tradition...someone help me think of one please!

for the benefit of everyone, what not to get me:
1. perfume. never ever get me perfume unless u know me very very very well. i am very very very particular about my scents. it took me 4 years to move from armani code to prada infusion d'homme. evelyn got me perfume last year and i think she got lucky. she chose a very fresh scent. haha. but others...please don't try.

actually that's about it. almost everything else is okay.

spent 10 days travelling. omg. don't like to be back. such an awesome time. so so awesome. eat eat eat. korean bbq, beijing foooood. shop shop shop. dongdemum, namdemum, hyehwa area, of cos beijing's silk street and ladies' street. visited yoido and heard dr cho preach, saw the seoul tower, palace, went skiing (or rather, falling), met up with ji eun song, revisited beijing, auntie nina, yang yang, chin keat. AWESOME. being back in singapore...bleah.

open the eyes of my heart lord, close the eyes of my mind

it's been more than a month. i'm really torn up inside. once your eyes are open, you can never close them back. it's like once adam and eve ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they could never ignore their own nakedness ever again. now that i have seen, i cannot help but notice everything. everything that's wrong. everything that shouldn't be. the differences are irreconcilable. i need to go. but i cannot go. i've been implored to stay on. i'm doing all i can to hang on. i'm so torn. i can only pray, open the eyes of my heart lord, and please close the eyes of my mind.

i have come to the very sudden realization that i cannot, for now, get attached to any girl in church. for those of you who understood the previous paragraph, you should understand why. for those who did not understand the previous paragraph, please don't ask, i won't say. and since we don't really get attached to girls outside church, i guess my number 4 resolution in 2010 should be changed to:

4. try to be happy and not thinking about dying single and alone, eaten up by cats. hahaha!!

open the eyes of my heart lord, close the eyes of my mind.