turning 23 on the move

i'm turning 23 in slightly less than an hour and for the first time, i'm gonna be on the train for the first 8 hours of my birthday. seb and i had a great trip to inner mongolia (great for me at least...heh) and we're on the train back from hohhot to beijing. i guess it reflects my nature of always being on the move. i really wonder where i will be spending my birthday next year. singapore? china? the united states? europe? i really wonder. more importantly, i wonder who i'll be spending my birthday next year with. a good friend or two? add a girlfriend to that? or if i relocate again, maybe new friends? as i look back at the past year, it has been a very mediocre campaign by my standards. the most significant achievement being my reduction from plus plus plus size to a mere plus. studies in shambles, career path uncertain, moved out of a terrible relationship (phew) but no significant progress on that front. i love God more and i guess i have done more for ministry, but i still cannot help feel there should be more. as i approach my mid-twenties, i cannot help but hope i have done more with my life. as i get older, i think i have mellowed as a person. i'm more tolerant, more mild-natured, more grateful for everything. i guess living in china has given me some perspective. on this note, some notable pple in my life. well, i'm really grateful for my family, who really love me unconditionally - my dad and mum especially. i'm really thankful for seb, who really cares to make his presence felt and make me feel loved to the extent that he was willing to come to china for my birthday. he really brought so much joy into my life in the past week. we laughed and laughed and laughed. i'm grateful for darian, who has been in my life for more than a decade and still brings a fresh touch all the time. my cousin linda, who has been generous with her advice, counsel, gifts, treats. i'm able to blog on the train now cos she gave me this htc phone. michelia who gives me the dose of craziness i need and yet is able to offer sound counsel. she is an enigma. flor, jo, xiu, charm - friends whom i know i can always turn to. yujie, who has seen me through some rough times last year. pastor ck and evelyn, who help me in all aspects of my life - i kid u not. i'm grateful for javier, who is a constant delight. for darice, who has been a great friend. for chin keat, who helped me settle into beijing. for martin, miki and the other nus exchange students who dispel loneliness in my life. and finally, for everything He has done in my life, i thank Jesus. what am i going to do for my birthday? i'm going to the temple of heaven, where ancient kings of china worshipped our Lord. seek Him and His will once again. i look forward to spending another year of my life with Him. :)

easter

easter. a time of jesus' death and resurrection. a time of reflection. sigh. just before leaving for china, i was seriously contemplating returning to singapore just for the sake of easter. this is the time i really really miss church in singapore.

guess who called me today just before the 1pm service? PASTOR CHEE KIANG! in the midst of me really missing church, pastor rang! so good to hear his voice and him sharing his thoughts once again.

decisions decisions decisions. darian and seb have both given their opinions. now it's up to me. i really don't know if the fall or the spring would be better. and at the same time, all this talk could be pointless because...i may not get there. i don't know. help.

G20

http://www.sporcle.com/games/g20members.php

i'm writing an essay on the G20 now. i can actually name all 20 members and 15 representatives (missing out on argentina, mexico, south africa, turkey and european union's). i actually know the european union president is the czech president but i don't know his name.

given that i'm in china, i'm quite impressed with myself. hahaha.

it's easter! i wanna go back to singapore. :( :( :(

application mania :(

Please tell us about an achievement that you are especially proud of because it was difficult or demanding.
We are particularly interested in:
· What the objective was?
· Why it was important to you?
· How you achieved it and the obstacles that you had to overcome in order to do so?

Just last Sunday (5 Apr 09), I climbed to the highest peak of Shaanxi Province’s Hua Mountain, the South Peak, which is 2154.9m above sea level. At the top, looking down upon the other lower peaks and the plans below, I felt an indescribable sense of accomplishment.

To be entirely honest, scaling the South Peak of the Hua Mountain is not exactly a very difficult feat. After all, it is only a quarter of Mount Everest. However, while there were throngs of people at the foot at the mountain, there were only but a handful at the top. Scaling the mountain required both great determination and good physical fitness.

I am proud of my achievement because a year ago, I would not have been able to do it. I have never been a physically-inclined person. I never liked exercise and I loved food – the twin evils that caused my BMI to balloon along with my physical size. Although my blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol were at normal healthy levels, I was undeniably overweight. Strenuous exercise tired me out easily.

Last June, I made a decision to lose weight for the sake of my health. While my body could take the current state because I was young, I wanted to prevent any possible future ailment that I could prevent. I ruthlessly cut my food intake and mercilessly forced myself to exercise. I hit the gym almost every day, spending at least half an hour on the treadmill.

Since then, I have lost more than 15kg and six pants sizes. I feel better about myself and I know that I am healthier. It was my determination that made me lose all that weight. The same determination ensured that I reached the South Peak of Hua Mountain.

This very determination will help me solve any problem that comes my way in my life, be it in my studies or in my future career. It is because of my resolute determination that I can say with absolute certainty that I will make a very successful investment banker with XXXX (better keep the company secret...haha!!).

home

i had a great trip to xi'an. but more on that another time.

when i reached beijing and i walked into my room, i thought to myself, "i'm home!". and then it occurred to me, i am already half way through my term. this is week 7. i have 16 weeks here plus exams. and then, i will have to pack my bags and uproot myself once more. sighs.

i've applied for summer internships in singapore, beijing, shanghai and am looking into positions in hong kong, europe and the usa. i am a nomad. i'm wondering when i will actually be able to find somewhere i can really truly settle down in. to be honest, i'm very adaptable. i loved boston, and i'm starting to really like beijing. at the same time, i miss singapore.

this is probably how my life is gonna pan out in my twenties. move from city to city, living the life i have always imagined. when will i settle down? well, when someone gives me a reason to settle down...if u know what i mean. heh.

To My Best Friend...

Happy 21st Birthday!!

when the phrase "whenever, wherever, whatever" was first used.

my turn! whenever, wherever, whatever.

to one of the best friends i've ever made in my life, happy 21st birthday! u've finally come of age. welcome to adulthood - trust me, you'll feel age creeping on you shortly. go ahead, feel ancient. wahahaha. ;-)

so sorry i cannot be there for your birthday celebration. i am pretty upset i'm missing that. but ohwell. i hope you have a great time (or since at the time of publication, u still might be partying your life away, hope u ARE having a great time!)

now is the time for you to think BIG! let your dreams soar! you'll go far! i believe in you!

thanks for "whenever, wherever and whatever". well, all i want to say is, ditto! whenever, wherever and whatever. :D

Losing You

Yeahhhhh
Sitting here alone thinking it through trying to convince myself that i'm
Not losing you,
Or can't you just forget the things i said
I was angry at the time but now i cleared my head
It was so strong, where did it all go wrong

[Chorus:]
So tell me why, i'm swimming against the tide
And i'm praying for a lifeline, cos i'm
Losing you
So tell me why, you don't care enough to try
Are you giving up this fight, i can't stand,
Wont stand, losing you

You don't have to say a word its in your eyes
What can i do to convince you we need more time
And i know i may have made a few mistakes
But losing you is just too much for me to take
It was so strong, where did it all go wrong

[Chorus]

So tell me what to say
Because i need, a chance to change
And i wont let you walk away

[Chorus x2]

i was listening to this song by busted (remember them?) and it suddenly occurred to me. so many times, we slip away from Jesus. slowly we drift away from Him. and He helplessly watches as we move further and further away. why? because He wants to give us free will. but yet, He still loves us and is dying to have a relationship with us. and as casually as we use the term "i'm dying to have...(maybe ice-cream)...", Jesus literally died so that He could have a relationship with us.

and that, my friends, is the easter story.

champion!

in absolutely singlish terms, i am a complete champion! in english terms, i am anything but a champion.

i dont know if it's the stress getting to me. but omg.

i bought a 2L tub of honey today cos it was on special offer. 29 yuan only! so anw, i decided to take a break from preparing for my presentation and so i decided to transfer some honey into my now-empty 454ml honey bottle.

big tub into small jar. disaster. so i painstakingly cleaned up the mess, which was quite controlled since i was sensible enough to do the transfer at the sink.

and then, i became a champion. i wanted to keep the 2L tub of honey. it was not capped properly. it overturned. and oh the calamity. oh the catastrophe. honey flowing all over my table. omg omg omg.

i spent half an hour controlling the damage and cleaning up. and i'm not sure if my table top and my floor is still sticky. i'm not sure if honey got anywhere i did not notice and hence did not clean. omg. i am a champion.

i'm stressed. arrrrrrgh. i really regret taking a business degree. so many regrets in life. sighs.