Friday, August 29, 2008

o wretched existence

Everyone needs compassion
Love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour
He can move the mountains
For my God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine Your light and
Let the whole world see
We’re singing
For the glory of the risen King
Jesus


sigh. i am a good person. why is my life like that? as i look at the state of my life now, it kinda scares me. i really really really hate my life. and it's really causing me to do things i did not imagine myself to do just a week ago. on tuesday night, i was at the height of depression, which corresponded to the lowest point of my life (or so i thought), so i drove home (very responsibly), and then took a cab to 2am for a drink. i finished a whole bottle of wine. for the first time in my life, i got drunk (maybe or maybe not but i was really high). and that's when i found out why pple use alcohol when they're upset. it's nice. cos it was wine. u get high but u dont feel that terrible. and u sleep so well thereafter. but well, u become very honest with yourself. and with my life so screwed up, being honest was a terrible idea.

i really cannot study in nus. i cannot cannot cannot cannot cannot study here. more than anything else, it's personal. i dont like it and i cannot accept that i'm studying here. it's killing me. it depresses me so much.

i've been struggling to stay afloat. i dont know how long i can hold out. and when i can't hold out, i really don't know what would happen. cos no matter what, i always put out a good front. i always make things look good. i hardly ever let my guard down. i'm always all smiles. and problem gets resolved, i'm still smiling. but i dont know how long i can hold out the battle inside me and the smile outside. oh gosh. arrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh.

how the olympic gold pie is cut

wow an excellent perspective!

The New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com
August 24, 2008
EDITORIAL NOTEBOOK
Going for the Gold

By EDUARDO PORTER
This Olympics, I’m ruefully told, was about the changing of the guard. It was the symbol of an emergent China and the waning of the West; the representation, in red shorts, swimsuits and tights, of a new order in sports. Yet for all its novelty, the new order seems little different from the old.

Throughout much of the last century, the nations that won the biggest share of Olympic gold were either rich countries — with disposable income to spend on sport — or autocratic states where sports programs usually involved sequestering children and pumping them up with experimental drugs. If middle income, nonaligned or any others wanted to compete for the bronze, it was O.K. The blocs were busy performing their part in the cold war.

Today, the set of affluent and despotic is somewhat different than it was 20 years ago. But the Olympic rule of thumb still holds. By my count, the Soviet bloc won 128 gold medals at the 1988 Olympics in Seoul, the last Games in which there was a Soviet bloc. The “West” won about 97, ordered roughly along the lines of economic clout. Everyone else won 16. The demise of communism put much of the Soviets’ former trove up for grabs. Yet the Olympics have retained their spirit: it’s still the autocratic and rich who win gold.

From 1996 through 2004 the United States vaulted past Russia to take the top spot in gold. Going into the weekend, it was in second place, one better than it was in Seoul. Germany’s fifth place in Beijing was the same as West Germany’s 20 years ago. The entire Soviet Union was in first place in Korea. Russia on its own is likely to be fourth this time.

The real change, of course, was the decision of an old authoritarian — China — to get fully into the game. Lacking the wealth and, seemingly, the will, China won only five gold medals in Seoul. Since then its share of the world economy has expanded from 3.5 percent to 11 percent. Combined with the standard autocratic training techniques, this wealth has allowed it to vault resoundingly to the top of the gold medal list.

For those who are worried that America is not No. 1, they should recognize that this country’s position hasn’t really changed much since the Seoul Games, at least in relative terms. In Beijing it won around 12 percent of the gold medals, less than the 15 percent it won in Seoul. But its share of the global economy also shrunk over the past 20 years, from about 23 to 21 percent. The good news is that no one is talking about replacing that lost share with other less democratic approaches to sports.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

my brain is being drained

i feel like killing myself. sitting in biz comm class now. the class presentation was just rubbish. every time i'm in school, i just become depressed. sigh. when people open their mouths, i feel like stabbing myself or banging my head against the wall. i cannot believe that this is happening to me.

it's been one year. 365 days actually. cos this year's a leap year. 365 days. 525600 minutes. one wasted year of my life. i keep asking myself, why why why didnt i go to london. why why why why why why why why why why why why why. i need out. i'm so depressed. i just feel like crying. sigh. sob sob sob.

kill me now someone. just kill me. nothing can be worse than studying here. just kill me. don't come telling me i could be worse off born in sudan. i'm talking about my context. nothing can be worse. just kill me.

sweet sweet success

it's official. i got my second A at summer school. wahahaha. 2 courses, 2 As. that's quite a good record i reckon. not that i didn't expect it. i would have been shocked with anything less than an A for the second term cos i had 80% A already. but anw, these eight weeks have given me a new lease of life. it showed me that i can absolutely excel at the highest level (not everyone gets As for those who are wondering...As are rather rare on the contrary). it showed me that anything and everything is possible.

this trip has been really really good for me. i am so in love with myself after these two months. i have never ever loved myself so much before. i am more self-confident than ever. i know and i know and i know that i am capable of conquering the world. i can achieve anything i set my mind to achieve. i love myself. i'm gonna take the world by storm, and the rest of the world can either come along, or can just sit and watch. doesn't matter. whee!

as for u. um...if u think what i did hurt u, well, i can assure u it hurt me a lot more. and if it didn't hurt u, then i made the right decision didn't i? ;)

Sunday, August 24, 2008

there is only one thing on my mind

it's not to get out of singapore. i like it a fair bit.

but i need to get out of nus. that is the one thing on my mind. i really really really really really really really really need to get out of nus. i'm dying slowly in the school. being killed bit by bit. i'm really surprised by my blog readership now. but anw, dear readers, i'm defining success and failure right now. if in 2010 i graduate with an nus degree, i'd consider myself a failure. even if i'm all smiles, know that inside of me, i am condemning myself.

i need an exit strategy. which i do not have at the moment.

27 august last year at 2am. i decided not to go to the lse. on hindsight, that was the one decision that changed my life for the worse. i made stupid decisions but never one that had such far reaching negative effects on my life. i can recall the thoughts running through my head, the table that yujie and i were at, the final moments before i finally decided that i would give staying in singapore a shot. everything is etched so clearly. the optimism and hope that was in me, the faith that i had in God and in pple around me. i remember every detail. so many times i have wondered how all those thoughts culminated in my decision. and up till now i have not been able to give myself an answer. sigh. i am an idiot.

i still remember one of my good friends use to tell me in a taunting manner, that i may be worse off overseas because i'm not emotionally strong enough to be by myself overseas. and i used to wonder if that was true. that same friend used to tell me, i'll probably get cut off from the city harvest because i would not have the discipline to catch online services and stuff. and i used to wonder if that was true. they're not true. these two months have shown me that i am stronger than others give me credit for, and stronger than i give myself credit for. these two months...as long as i had internet access, i would catch live webcast of services. it was only when i had no access that i missed service.

going overseas to study has always been my dream. for so many years i harbored that dream. on 27 august last year, i gave it up. but the dream did not die. it lives on. and i will do everything i can to see that it will come to pass. everything. that is a my solemn promise to myself.

even if it means missing some of my friends' weddings, some of my friends' children being born, some of the most exciting events in chc and in singapore, i will still go for it.

Friday, August 22, 2008

ignorance, indifference, incompetence

the more i think about it, the more annoyed i am. i hate this school. i'm a victim of the school's ignorance (they don't know), indifference (they don't care) or incompetence (they know and care but cannot do anything about it). maybe all three. disgusting school that is so beneath me. pui.

bleeding

my heart is bleeding. i feel so depressed to be in this school. in macro economics lecture now. but no motivation to study whatsoever. sigh. since i stepped out of cambridge, my heart has been bleeding. i don't know how to preach at cg later. i feel so down. sigh. this school is really affecting my whole life. i can accept that it's not harvard. but i cannot accept the fact that it's soooooooooooooo far off. and even worse, i cannot cannot cannot accept that it's not even trying to move towards harvard standard. my heart bleeds. i think i'm headed for a total breakdown soon.

whoring

i am so miserable in nus. i will say this. nus is the worst school i have ever attended. maybe not the worst school ever. but the worst school i have ever attended. stepping into school yesterday was instant degradation. my value dropped. i felt depressed. the school is sooo beneath me. sighs. i feel like dying every time i'm in the school. disgusting. it's like whoring myself out for a degree. whores pretend to have a good time for money. i pretend to be receiving an education so i can get a degree. gross. i hate the school i hate the school i hate the school i hate the school.

Friday, August 15, 2008

pain and anguish

World, hold on
Instead of messing with our future, open up inside
World, hold on
Wonder you will have to answer to the children of the sky


that was one of the songs at OM last night which caused the spaniards to go nuts. i had such a great time. OM may be a small club. but with that group of spaniards, germans, danish, czechs, indians etc, it was so fun. for the first time in my life, i felt accepted. for these two months, i have been able to be myself - for the first time in my whole life. these europeans didn't have to, but they embraced me (in some cases, literally! hahaha) into their cosy clique.

i'm on the bus to new york now. i shd be feeling excited over returning to the big apple. but all i feel is pain and anguish. because i know it's the first leg of my journey home. i'm beyond depressed. leaving harvard was just terrible. the whole week, i knew the day of farewell would come. but it didn't make it any easier. it's not just farewell to the pple. it's farewell to the place. over here, i didnt have to try so hard to impress. i was just myself. and the real me feels loved here. i can prove myself to myself. and i have.

over here, i can state my opinion without fear of repercussions. we can have 4 pple, with 4 different opinions, and still having friendly discussions. 4 guys in my flat. 2 support obama, 1 supports mccain, i support neither but if i were to choose i'd pick obama, and we could talk about it without anyone getting offended. i hate that obama is clueless! but others like it. say he's frank about him not knowing stuff. and we consider each other's perspective.

in singapore, once u state a dissenting case, their face changes. darian comes the closest to acceptance and interlocutor i guess. but he we never talk serious intellectual stuff! hahahaha. even yujie cannot hold talks with me when he differs in opinion. yes there's xiu, jo and charm, but well, they went or are going overseas! bleah. it's a singaporean culture. this supreme intolerance of anything opinion that is not identical to yours. havent we seen pple bankrupted, jailed and exiled for speaking out differently? to mature as a society, we need to learn how to be more accepting.

i really don't want to go home. it will be the end of my american dream. going back to a lousy university after i've studied in the world's finest. sighs. bleah. in my opinion, there are only three universally recognized names when it comes to education. harvard, cambridge and oxford. i will miss harvard so so so much.

i already miss walking down garden street, looking onto the quad field, running at cambridge common, annenberg hall (not so much the food but the hall), walking around the shops at harvard square, going supermarket shopping at shaw's at porter square. :"(

i am so depressed. who inspired my brother to go overseas to study? me. my brother is now applying to cambridge. i hope he gets in!! but applications like these are always a lottery. u never know. and who made the big mistake of not going overseas himself? me. i ruined my life.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

a letter to st forum: why singaporeans are not bringing in the olympic medals?

there is so much to be learnt from the olympics. this is one point i've picked up on. i'm not sure if the straits times will publish. but on this blog. i have the supreme say. so i'm publishing!

Do Singaporeans Have The Desire To Win by Aaron Chew
The Olympic fever is underway. More than merely looking to the winners and admiring them, Singaporeans should look further, and examine why we are as yet, not on the medal scoreboard. The 4x100 metres men's freestyle is a great example of the winning spirit. The United States' anchor swimmer, Lezak, had a 0.6 second handicap to battle when he entered the pool. By Olympic standards, that is huge. What made the difference was not physical ability. If I were to swim against Phelps, only physical ability would matter, because we are separated by seconds, perhaps even minutes. But at the Olympic level, the difference is in the split seconds. With the head start, there was no reason for France to lose. But Lezak psyched himself up mentally, and that made the difference between the gold and the silver medal.

Why are Singaporeans not bringing in the medals? Is it physical ability? It is possible. But at the same time, do our athletes really have the hunger for the medal? By her remarks that she was tired, Tao Li didn't. Did Ronald Susilo want to beat Lee Chong Wei as much as Lee Chong Wei wanted to beat him?

To date, Tan Howe Liang is our only Olympic medalist. While he was competing, his leg was injured. He ignored the medical team's advice to withdraw and competed nonetheless. This intense hunger in him made the difference between an Olympic silver medalist, and an Olympic weightlifting competitor who withdrew. That is why he is our only Olympic medalist to date.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9R3j7wKv_I&feature=related

china! china!

the chinese have impressed me. not the government, but the people. they are really one united people. it really makes chinese all over the world feel proud.

The New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com
August 12, 2008
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Harmony and the Dream

By DAVID BROOKS
Chengdu, China

The world can be divided in many ways — rich and poor, democratic and authoritarian — but one of the most striking is the divide between the societies with an individualist mentality and the ones with a collectivist mentality.

This is a divide that goes deeper than economics into the way people perceive the world. If you show an American an image of a fish tank, the American will usually describe the biggest fish in the tank and what it is doing. If you ask a Chinese person to describe a fish tank, the Chinese will usually describe the context in which the fish swim.

These sorts of experiments have been done over and over again, and the results reveal the same underlying pattern. Americans usually see individuals; Chinese and other Asians see contexts.

When the psychologist Richard Nisbett showed Americans individual pictures of a chicken, a cow and hay and asked the subjects to pick out the two that go together, the Americans would usually pick out the chicken and the cow. They’re both animals. Most Asian people, on the other hand, would pick out the cow and the hay, since cows depend on hay. Americans are more likely to see categories. Asians are more likely to see relationships.

You can create a global continuum with the most individualistic societies — like the United States or Britain — on one end, and the most collectivist societies — like China or Japan — on the other.

The individualistic countries tend to put rights and privacy first. People in these societies tend to overvalue their own skills and overestimate their own importance to any group effort. People in collective societies tend to value harmony and duty. They tend to underestimate their own skills and are more self-effacing when describing their contributions to group efforts.

Researchers argue about why certain cultures have become more individualistic than others. Some say that Western cultures draw their values from ancient Greece, with its emphasis on individual heroism, while other cultures draw on more on tribal philosophies. Recently, some scientists have theorized that it all goes back to microbes. Collectivist societies tend to pop up in parts of the world, especially around the equator, with plenty of disease-causing microbes. In such an environment, you’d want to shun outsiders, who might bring strange diseases, and enforce a certain conformity over eating rituals and social behavior.

Either way, individualistic societies have tended to do better economically. We in the West have a narrative that involves the development of individual reason and conscience during the Renaissance and the Enlightenment, and then the subsequent flourishing of capitalism. According to this narrative, societies get more individualistic as they develop.

But what happens if collectivist societies snap out of their economic stagnation? What happens if collectivist societies, especially those in Asia, rise economically and come to rival the West? A new sort of global conversation develops.

The opening ceremony in Beijing was a statement in that conversation. It was part of China’s assertion that development doesn’t come only through Western, liberal means, but also through Eastern and collective ones.

The ceremony drew from China’s long history, but surely the most striking features were the images of thousands of Chinese moving as one — drumming as one, dancing as one, sprinting on precise formations without ever stumbling or colliding. We’ve seen displays of mass conformity before, but this was collectivism of the present — a high-tech vision of the harmonious society performed in the context of China’s miraculous growth.

If Asia’s success reopens the debate between individualism and collectivism (which seemed closed after the cold war), then it’s unlikely that the forces of individualism will sweep the field or even gain an edge.

For one thing, there are relatively few individualistic societies on earth. For another, the essence of a lot of the latest scientific research is that the Western idea of individual choice is an illusion and the Chinese are right to put first emphasis on social contexts.

Scientists have delighted to show that so-called rational choice is shaped by a whole range of subconscious influences, like emotional contagions and priming effects (people who think of a professor before taking a test do better than people who think of a criminal). Meanwhile, human brains turn out to be extremely permeable (they naturally mimic the neural firings of people around them). Relationships are the key to happiness. People who live in the densest social networks tend to flourish, while people who live with few social bonds are much more prone to depression and suicide.

The rise of China isn’t only an economic event. It’s a cultural one. The ideal of a harmonious collective may turn out to be as attractive as the ideal of the American Dream.

It’s certainly a useful ideology for aspiring autocrats.

Monday, August 11, 2008

one singapore

每一次我感到彷徨
不自禁就会回头望
我知道心中有个地方
一定会有一盏灯
照亮每一颗黑暗的心房
指引未来方向
沿着生命河流向前航
就能登陆理想

(副歌:)
我的家 收藏
我的欢喜悲伤
只要点燃希望
梦就会自由飞翔
我的家 给我
一双坚定翅膀
我的梦 不论在何方
一生的爱唯有家

再也不会感到彷徨
不会再失意回头望
我要用心中一点烛光
燃放千万户辉煌
要让繁华的城市更灿烂
世界和平共享
全凭生命河流来导航
一起登陆理想

(重复副歌 x2)

一生的爱 唯有家
世世代代温暖的家

home remains one of my favorite national songs. this year's song is RUBBISH. it seems to get worse with each passing year. sighs.

anw, national day is NEVER the highlight of my year ever. but well, somehow this year it meant slightly more. i guess it's got to do with the fact that i'm overseas. and when u're overseas, u tend to forget the shortcomings of your country and have this romanticized view about it. the only thing that is lingering on my mind is the school. i wrote to all the deans just a few nights ago to give them a piece of my mind - a big piece of my mind that covered 4 pages. hahahahaha. the incoming dean wants to see me. the offending deans don't dare to reply. absolutely fed up with the school. i'm considering sabbatical next semester. whatever it is, i will not give up this fight. i only have 2 more years in the school. what can they do to me? but i'm going to ignite a change that will propel the university (which btw, is singapore's flagship university) forward. this is the opportune time. new dean in nus, new president for nus, new minister for education for singapore. new broom sweeps clean. i will take my ideas as far as they need to be heard.

well, that's the bad part of singapore. but otherwise, honestly, i quite appreciate singapore. i know that my future is intertwined with singapore. at the same time, i know that singapore is way too small for me. i see myself leaving singapore for some years in my 20s at least. my return is an eventuality. it will happen. ultimately, singapore's my home. but i want to explore the world first. this proves one thing. i was right all along. even when i was 17 i knew that this is what i wanted. it's something i should have gone ahead with last year. but well, maybe the plan is for me to reform the education in singapore first. for the greater good.

happy birthday singapore. 43 years of statehood. nationhood? that's debatable. :)

idiotic world

my top three picks for a messy messy world that's full of idiotic people.

1. russia and georgia conflict.
russia is just an idiotic country trying to assert its long gone big brother status. just get out of georgia! the kremlin is scaring me more and more. seriously, it may spark off another antagonistic period in the world, if its recent activities are anything to go by.

2. sudan exporting food as its own people suffer.
africa is in a mess. and i vote sudan the worst country there. people are starving and dying in darfur all the time. international aid organizations are sending food in. but there the sudanese govt is, selling food to take advantage of high food prices. idiotic.

3. protesters against china as beijing stages olympics
the tibetans at harvard are out in full force every day now. usually they're only out on wednesdays. i have my issues with china too. but look, this is their moment, let them enjoy it. let them busk in it. don't be so idiotic. cant u see that by doing that, u're actually very intolerant yourselves, when u're accusing china of intolerance?

let me end with this excellent piece from the financial times about the rise and decline of america.

The Financial Times
America’s decline will not be easily reversed
By Byron Wien
Published: August 10 2008 19:45 | Last updated: August 10 2008 19:45
Having grown up in an America where the opportunities seemed endless, I am dismayed at how optimism seems to have diminished among our younger people. To understand how we got into this position, it might be useful to go back to 1933. During that year the US was in a deep recession and Hitler came into power in Germany. Thousands of European intellectuals, Jewish and otherwise, left Europe and came to the US, adding considerably to the scientific strength of this country. War broke out in 1939 and over the next six years Europe was flattened and Asian industrial cities were considerably damaged. The continental US built up its manufacturing capability to fight the war and was untouched by enemy bombs during the conflict.

In 1945, the US was clearly the world’s leader militarily, economically and politically. Its universities were pre-eminent and its cultural life was enriched by the migration of Europeans during the previous decade. This position of leadership lasted 35 years until 1980. It received a boost from Russia’s launching of a space satellite, Sputnik, in 1957. This was a shock because Russia’s scientific prowess was not taken seriously at the time. The US committed to putting a man on the moon in the next decade. Government funding for space research expanded and the objective was met.

Our space research gave rise to Silicon Valley and US industrial strength was enhanced by technology innovation derived from products created for our satellite programme. By 1980 however, Europe, helped by the Marshall Plan, was back on its feet and the Japanese car and electronics industries were developing momentum. We took our leadership for granted, ignored this shift and became complacent.

Our problems became more serious when communism failed in Russia, Chairman Mao died and reforms that were started in China and India began to play a role in the world economy.

During the 1960s and 1970s, US textile, apparel and shoe manufacturing migrated to Latin America and Asia. By 1990 many products formerly manufactured in the US were being produced abroad. In addition, foreign automakers were taking market share from Detroit and we became more dependent on imported oil.

Our initial reaction to the end of communism was to take a victory lap because capitalism had won. We talked of 3bn new customers without realising that many of these people would also become competitors. We began to view ourselves as a service economy without recognising that services do not export well. During the past 20 years our balance of payments deficit has expanded to 6 per cent of our gross domestic product, putting our currency in peril because our low savings rate requires us to finance our deficits with borrowing from abroad.

One of the reasons we feel so overburdened by debt is that it has steadily taken more borrowing to finance our growth. In the 1950s the economy grew by 73 cents for each dollar of added debt. In the 1960s it was 65 cents. By the 1980s it was only 34 cents and so far in the current decade it is less than 20 cents.

We all know the sad story of our slippage in mathematics and science. In fourth grade, American children are ahead of almost everyone in the world. By the eighth grade they are even and by 12th grade they are seriously behind. If you walk through the labs of our great scientific universities you see many Asian faces. Some of them are Americans who grew up here but many are foreign students. In the past, most of them stayed to enjoy the benefits of our open society but now many are going home. Since September 11, 2001 many have trouble getting visas and there are now considerable opportunities for them in their native countries. Today, America is the leader in only five product areas: computer hardware, software, biotechnology, aerospace and entertainment. That is not enough to provide job opportunities for a country of 300m people.

America’s decline has been a long time in coming and will not be reversed quickly, if it can be reversed at all. To do so will require exceptional leadership from the next president, since some aspects of life in the US may get worse before they get better.

To get started we will need to spend billions in a man-on-the-moon type programme to move from fossil fuels to alternative sources of energy. We will need to finance research in technology innovation and biotechnology, including stem cell research. We will need to generate most of our electricity using nuclear fuel. We will need to bring our infrastructure into the 21st century.

The next president’s biggest challenge will be to prevent America’s slide into a position where it is dependent on foreign sources for both capital and energy. We have the human resources to accomplish these goals. The question is whether we have the will.

Last year I gave a talk about America having reached its economic peak. I pointed out that England peaked in 1912 and life in the UK was still quite pleasant so I was not too worried about my own country having begun a gradual decline.

At the end, a young man approached the podium. He told me he had been reading my work for two decades. I thanked him and then he said: “One thing you should probably know is that Holland peaked in 1617 and life over there is still pretty good also.”

The writer is chief investment strategist for Pequot Capital Management

Copyright The Financial Times Limited 2008

Sunday, August 10, 2008

launch out into the deep

“Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” [Luke5:4]

a new vision that God has just given me. piping hot from the oven. i am excited!! whee!!

something else got me thinking. brandon seeto is in new york, grace teo is going to florida. pastor kong says everyone's leaving the nest. hmmm...

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Let China sleep. For when China wakes, it will shake the world. - Napoléon Bonaparte of France

a brilliant brilliant article by the new york times. this represents my exact opinion (which btw the i came up with before i read the article). the olympics is wonderful. i have no doubt that it will be a resounding success (it already is actually). i am proud to be a chinese. but there needs to be more. a lot more. china must move on and develop even further. economically, they have come a long long way. politically, even the earth that the chinese tread on cries out for change! i like president hu's statement at luncheon with the world leaders.

“The historic moment we have long awaited is arriving,” Mr. Hu said in a speech at the luncheon. “The world has never needed mutual understanding, mutual toleration and mutual cooperation as much as it does today.”

an excellent statement. and i'm very heartened to see president bush and president sarkozy attend the opening ceremony. if president sarkozy had abstained, it would have been diplomatically disastrous for china. he's not only the president of france, he's currently the president of the european union too. dear mr gordon brown is on holiday. he is so clueless he actually makes tony blair look good! london is hosting the 2012 olympics. i wonder if the chinese president will attend the opening ceremony. then again, i doubt brown will be pm then. in fact, i doubt he'll be pm at christmas this year.

having said all that, president hu was making a very political statement. for the rest of the world to accept china as it is. in effect, it is a refusal to make political headway, or rather, a refusal to make political headway soon. if this goes on, the olympics will be forgotten, but china's failings will not.

but for now, till the 24th, let china beam! the sleeping giant has awoken! chinese all over the world, stand tall and be proud. this is one of china's finest moments in history. :-D

The New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com
August 9, 2008
China’s Leaders Try to Impress and Reassure World

By JIM YARDLEY
BEIJING — An ecstatic China finally got its Olympic moment on Friday night. And if the astonishing opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympic Games lavished grand tribute on Chinese civilization and sought to stir an ancient nation’s pride, there was also a message for an uncertain outside world: Do not worry. We mean no harm.

Usually, that message is delivered by the dour-faced leaders of the ruling Communist Party, who dutifully, if sometimes unconvincingly, regurgitate the phrase “harmonious society” coined by President Hu Jintao. But in the nimble cinematic hands of Zhang Yimou, the filmmaker who directed the opening ceremonies, the politics of harmony were conveyed in a visual extravaganza.

The opening ceremonies gave the Communist Party its most uninterrupted, unfiltered chance to reach a gargantuan global audience. At one point, thousands of large umbrellas were snapped open to reveal the smiling, multicultural faces of children of the global village. Benetton could not have done it better.

Any Olympic opening is a propaganda exercise, but Friday night’s blockbuster show demonstrated the broader public relations challenge facing the Communist Party as China becomes richer and more powerful. The party wants to inspire national pride within China, and bolster its own legitimacy in the process, even as leaders want to reassure the world that a rising China poses no danger.

That has not been an easy sales pitch during the tumultuous Olympics prelude, in which violent Tibetan protests and a devastating earthquake revealed the dark and light sides of Chinese nationalism.

But for one night, at least, the party succeeded wildly after a week dominated by news of polluted skies, sporadic protests and a sweeping security clampdown. Across Beijing, the public rejoiced. People painted red Chinese flags on their cheeks and shouted, “Go China!” long after the four-hour opening had concluded.

“For a lot of foreigners, the only image of China comes from old movies that make us look poor and pathetic,” said Ci Lei, 29, who watched the pageantry on a large-screen television at an upscale downtown bar. “Now look at us. We showed the world we can build new subways and beautiful modern buildings. The Olympics will redefine the way people see us.”

China has grown so rapidly that even people who live here often do not realize that the country that, seven years ago, won the right to stage the Games is no longer the same place. In 2001, China’s gross domestic product was $1.3 trillion; this year, it is estimated to reach $3.6 trillion.

The scale and speed of that growth often leaves the outside world awed, but also worried. China has the world’s largest authoritarian political system. Chinese society is prospering, even as it is cleaved by inequality and struggling with human rights abuses, corruption and severe pollution.

China is asserting its diplomatic muscle in Asia and Africa and pumping money into a military that by the Pentagon’s estimates now has greater resources than any except that of the United States. Yet foreign investment and open export markets have been crucial to China’s success, and it still seeks, even depends on, the support and respect of the United States and Europe.

These contradictions are one reason Mr. Hu has promoted the amorphous concept of a “harmonious society” as a rhetorical tent encompassing policies intended to soothe, if not necessarily resolve, a range of tensions.

Earlier on Friday, Mr. Hu hosted world leaders at a luncheon inside the Great Hall of the People. His table guests illustrated China’s evolving, sometimes conflicted role in world affairs.

At one seat was Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, with whom China sided in July to veto a United Nations resolution, backed strongly by the United States, that would have imposed sanctions on Zimbabwe, after most observers had concluded that Robert Mugabe stole the presidential election there.

President Bush shared the same table. So did the Japanese prime minister, Yasuo Fukuda, with whom China has been conducting a careful reconciliation intended to repair relations that were badly strained by nationalist fervor in both countries just a few years ago.

Perhaps no guest better illustrated China’s uncertain diplomatic balancing than President Nicolas Sarkozy of France.

Earlier this year Mr. Sarkozy threatened to boycott the opening ceremonies to protest China’s crackdown of the Tibetan protests in March. Chinese nationalists, cheered by the state-run media, promoted a boycott of the French retailer Carrefour and filled the Internet with anti-French postings. France and China then scrambled to contain the damage and reopen the door to Mr. Sarkozy’s visit.

“The historic moment we have long awaited is arriving,” Mr. Hu said in a speech at the luncheon. “The world has never needed mutual understanding, mutual toleration and mutual cooperation as much as it does today.”

China first bid for the Games 15 years ago, when party leaders were struggling to recover their legitimacy at home and abroad after they violently suppressed pro-democracy protesters in Beijing in 1989. They were rejected then, though by a narrow margin, and when China won the right to host the 2008 Games, the Olympics had become something of a national obsession.

Leaders spent an estimated $43 billion in building roads, stadiums, parks and subway lines in trying to transform Beijing into an Olympic city.

Plans to welcome the world — “Beijing welcomes you!” is one Olympic slogan — have suffered from polluted skies and the presence of a security force of more than 100,000 people summoned to guard against terrorist attacks.

Yet even amid such a huge police presence, the crowds that gathered near the Olympic Village on Friday afternoon were giddy and proud that China could show itself to the world. Yang Bin, a D.J., had traveled more than 500 miles to Beijing from the city of Chongqing.

“I came to Beijing last night to celebrate the Olympics, even though I don’t have a ticket,” Mr. Yang said. “China is never more glorious than today. The whole world is watching us.”

The opening ceremonies reportedly cost tens of millions of dollars and involved 15,000 performers inside the latticed shell of the city’s new National Stadium, known as the Bird’s Nest. No Olympic opening ceremonies are thought to have approached it in cost and scale.

The production was filled with signature Chinese touches: the elaborate choreography of dancers on a giant calligraphy scroll; the undulating rows of Chinese characters, with the character for “harmony” illuminated; and the use of masses of people, working in unison into a grand spectacle centered on traditional Chinese history, music, dance and art.

“This is a huge gathering for sports lovers, and I am one of them,” said the composer Tan Dun, whose score will be played during gold medal ceremonies. “This is a lot more than about China. If we think this is only China’s moment, it’s a big mistake. It’s the moment of the world.”

Mr. Zhang, the filmmaker, has said he wanted the opening ceremonies to be his gift to China. The climactic moment of the evening came during the dramatic ceremonies to light the Olympic flame. Li Ning, a Chinese gold-medal winner in gymnastics, was hoisted by thin cables to the stadium’s roof with the torch in his hand.

Then, as the cables slowly guided him around the inner rim of the roof, as if he were running, a digital scroll unfurled behind him with images of some of the thousands of other torch bearers who had carried the flame during its journey around the world this spring. The mesmerizing sight culminated with Mr. Li igniting a giant torch affixed to the roof.

China had called the torch relay a Journey of Harmony. But unharmonious protests erupted during the torch’s stops in London, Paris, San Francisco and elsewhere. Those images were absent from Mr. Zhang’s digital scroll. Filmmakers, of course, work from a script.

Just as men really cannot fly, art is not reality. As Friday night proved, art and artifice can inspire. One burden of staging one spectacular show is that people will want and expect an even more spectacular one in the future. And as China’s leaders celebrate, that is the challenge facing them.

The Beijing Olympics are now under way. They will end on Aug. 24. Then the world will exhale and look away from China and its search for harmony. But the Chinese people may want more. And then the real Games of China will begin again.

Andrew Jacobs and David Barboza contributed reporting. Huang Yuanxi and Jessie Jiang contributed research.

Friday, August 8, 2008

know-nothing politics

an excellent article in the new york times by an economist i respect, paul krugman.

The New York Times
http://www.nytimes.com
August 8, 2008
OP-ED COLUMNIST
Know-Nothing Politics

By PAUL KRUGMAN
So the G.O.P. has found its issue for the 2008 election. For the next three months the party plans to keep chanting: “Drill here! Drill now! Drill here! Drill now! Four legs good, two legs bad!” O.K., I added that last part.

And the debate on energy policy has helped me find the words for something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Republicans, once hailed as the “party of ideas,” have become the party of stupid.

Now, I don’t mean that G.O.P. politicians are, on average, any dumber than their Democratic counterparts. And I certainly don’t mean to question the often frightening smarts of Republican political operatives.

What I mean, instead, is that know-nothingism — the insistence that there are simple, brute-force, instant-gratification answers to every problem, and that there’s something effeminate and weak about anyone who suggests otherwise — has become the core of Republican policy and political strategy. The party’s de facto slogan has become: “Real men don’t think things through.”

In the case of oil, this takes the form of pretending that more drilling would produce fast relief at the gas pump. In fact, earlier this week Republicans in Congress actually claimed credit for the recent fall in oil prices: “The market is responding to the fact that we are here talking,” said Representative John Shadegg.

What about the experts at the Department of Energy who say that it would take years before offshore drilling would yield any oil at all, and that even then the effect on prices at the pump would be “insignificant”? Presumably they’re just a bunch of wimps, probably Democrats. And the Democrats, as Representative Michele Bachmann assures us, “want Americans to move to the urban core, live in tenements, take light rail to their government jobs.”

Is this political pitch too dumb to succeed? Don’t count on it.

Remember how the Iraq war was sold. The stuff about aluminum tubes and mushroom clouds was just window dressing. The main political argument was, “They attacked us, and we’re going to strike back” — and anyone who tried to point out that Saddam and Osama weren’t the same person was an effete snob who hated America, and probably looked French.

Let’s also not forget that for years President Bush was the center of a cult of personality that lionized him as a real-world Forrest Gump, a simple man who prevails through his gut instincts and moral superiority. “Mr. Bush is the triumph of the seemingly average American man,” declared Peggy Noonan, writing in The Wall Street Journal in 2004. “He’s not an intellectual. Intellectuals start all the trouble in the world.”

It wasn’t until Hurricane Katrina — when the heckuva job done by the man of whom Ms. Noonan said, “if there’s a fire on the block, he’ll run out and help” revealed the true costs of obliviousness — that the cult began to fade.

What’s more, the politics of stupidity didn’t just appeal to the poorly informed. Bear in mind that members of the political and media elites were more pro-war than the public at large in the fall of 2002, even though the flimsiness of the case for invading Iraq should have been even more obvious to those paying close attention to the issue than it was to the average voter.

Why were the elite so hawkish? Well, I heard a number of people express privately the argument that some influential commentators made publicly — that the war was a good idea, not because Iraq posed a real threat, but because beating up someone in the Middle East, never mind who, would show Muslims that we mean business. In other words, even alleged wise men bought into the idea of macho posturing as policy.

All this is in the past. But the state of the energy debate shows that Republicans, despite Mr. Bush’s plunge into record unpopularity and their defeat in 2006, still think that know-nothing politics works. And they may be right.

Sad to say, the current drill-and-burn campaign is getting some political traction. According to one recent poll, 69 percent of Americans now favor expanded offshore drilling — and 51 percent of them believe that removing restrictions on drilling would reduce gas prices within a year.

The headway Republicans are making on this issue won’t prevent Democrats from expanding their majority in Congress, but it might limit their gains — and could conceivably swing the presidential election, where the polls show a much closer race.

In any case, remember this the next time someone calls for an end to partisanship, for working together to solve the country’s problems. It’s not going to happen — not as long as one of America’s two great parties believes that when it comes to politics, stupidity is the best policy.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

brand new me

a brand new blog!

i took two months to recreate myself and redirect my life. and i thought the old blog should go too. i mean, the person blogging in 2004 is quite different from me today. some pple have commented so, and it's true. haha. so, here we are. for an html-illiterate, this is quite a decent template. i took the photos myself, used photoshop to customize, set the whole thing up.

well the old blog is not actually gone. pple who know me well enough will know where it is. :) that blog was really a record of my life for a long time. really too precious to flippantly discard. some interesting statistics about the old blog:

started: 30 july 2004
last post: 6 august 2008
duration: 4 years and 1 week (1469 days)
posts: 720
frequency of posts: once per 2.04 days
number of birthdays it recorded: 4
significant events in my life that happened in its tenure in chronological order: 
  • "a" levels (2004)
  • trip to france + uk (2004)
  • national slavery (2005 - 2007)
  • trip to uk! (2005)
  • driving license and car! (2006)
  • reconciliation and renewal of friendship (2006)
  • financial emancipation (2005 - 2006)
  • 4.hundred (2006 - 2008)
  • trip to new york (2006)
  • sph internship - whee! (2007)
  • bible school [nothing recorded for that period] (2007)
  • the big u-turn (2007)
  • attending concentration camp masquerading as educational institution (2007 - present)
  • a mistake (2007 - 2008)
  • cell group leadership (2008)
  • zone leadership (2008)
  • harvard summer school + holiday in america and canada (2008)
something that was really interesting. i looked through my blog content for the 4 birthdays it recorded. and every single year, it was bittersweet. something or someone had to go wrong somewhere. 2007 was the worst nightmare. but really, it wasn't just 2007. every year, something would go wrong somewhere. and guess what. such is life. u can never really get your way. it never happens. maybe my 23rd will be better. :)

this blog starts on a very positive note. this is probably the longest stretch i've been happy in a very very long time. coincidentally, it's also the longest stretch i've been away from the concentration camp since i enrolled in it. quite telling isn't it. hehe. the header photo is a view from my room at cabot house at harvard on a night when i thought the sky looked fascinating. the profile picture is me with the niagara falls (self-taken). for now, my life rocks!

to my faithful readership and my growing readership base, welcome to
L.O.V.E by Aaron Chew
where the peregrination continues. :-}