"Mother of the Year" a novel

It was close again this year, but I'm afraid that I didn't get the "Mother of the Year" award. I felt certain that it was in the bag this time, but apparently you can't win if CPS (child protective services) is investigating you for child neglect. A heads up next time would be appreciated.

What?! you ask. Well. Let me explain. I'm actually a really good mom, but I turn my back for a few minutes and Matthew gets into Shaun's medicine, and the next thing you know, the meanest lady on earth is yelling at me in the ER.

 He got into the meds at about 10:30 am, but I was certain that I got them all out of his mouth before he swallowed. I even counted how many were left over and came to the conclusion that he only got 2 in there anyway- which I washed out immediately. Gave him a drink and put the meds away. No big deal. Then it was shower time so I put him in with me and he just played around in the tub, and then ended up falling asleep as I finished up. So cute :) I thought for sure that he was just very relaxed and very tired due to just learning how to climb out of his crib recently. I laid him in his bed and finished getting ready for a very important meeting for Nathan at his school.
 I got him up when it was time to go, and he was still very sleepy, so I paged Steve and told him what was happening, and that it was kinda weird. I never heard back from him, so I went to the meeting. He fell asleep in the car on the way there, and then was just laying on my shoulder on the way in. After we were in the meeting, I pointed out to the other ladies that he was acting strangely, and they all agreed, but we were well into the process, and I checked his pulse and his breathing, and they both seamed normal and strong, so we continued while he slept on my shoulder.
 We wrapped things up quickly and then I rushed out to the car where I immediately called the pediatrician. I told them his symptoms, but didn't tell them that he had gotten into any meds because I was certain that they would immediately send me to the ER without even pausing to listen that I was certain that it must be a trace amount of the med and that I'm sure he's just sleeping it off. They told me to go to the ER. So much for my well thought out plan. I took him home to try and get a hold of Steve again, and finally got him. He said to look up the med online and see what to expect and what we need to be concerned about. I did, but decided I should probably just go in.
 I got him in the car and drove over to my friends house quickly to see if she could get my other kids off the bus for me, and she saw Matt and suggested that I call poison control. I luckily have them in my phone, so I called and was transferred around until they found the biggest moron possible for me to talk to. She had a very thick Indian accent, so I couldn't hardly understand what she was saying, and I'm pretty sure she didn't understand me either. I told her that Matt had gotten 2 tabs of 5mg Abilify, and then he fell asleep when we took a shower. She then told me to wait and she'd call an ambulance, but I knew that I could get there faster, so I got in the car and drove while she called the ER and said I was coming.
 When I got there, they were waiting for me and 10 people rushed in and started IVs and got stats and EKGs and seemed a bit frantic. All this for a trace amount of abilify? I thought. Then someone came in and asked if this was the little boy who had gotten 8 tabs of 10mg abilify and was found sleeping in the bathtub. I half laughed because that was completely off, but obvious that it was us. I told them what really happened and thought nothing of it.
 The Dr. finally came in and told me that they were going to observe how he did in the next few hours, and they would determine if they were going to let us go home, or admit him for 3 days. She then said that it was standard procedure to call social services when there was an accidental ingestion of someone elses' meds. I looked at her and felt totally comfortable in agreeing because I knew I had nothing to hide. The social worker came in and asked a couple really simple questions, and then said that CPS was going to come in and ask a few questions.
 When this lady came in, I knew that I was in for a nightmare because of the look of accusation and judgment in her eyes. She basically glared at me for the next hour and a half while she asked me questions that made me question if I really was a good mother. She started out by saying that she was probably going to take my children away because I was a negligent, unfit mother. She asked me why the meds were out and not locked away where he couldn't reach them, why did I think that him falling asleep in the shower at 11 am was normal, why on earth did we continue the IEP meeting when it was very clear that he wasn't okay, why didn't I go straight to the ER when the pediatrician told me to, why didn't my husband call me right back, why did I go over to my friends house, why did I call poison control. All valid questions, but I told her why and she was not satisfied in the least. She twisted everything into something negligent and horrible.
 She left at one point and I called Steve balling, and shaking uncontrollably(he thought that Matthew was dying or something), and told her what was going on and that this lady might take our kids away. He was so confused and then so furious. Never in his career as a physician in training has he ever seen CPS called, let alone anyone treated so horribly. He didn't know what to do, and neither did I, but then the lady came back in and told me that she needed to talk to my husband and my children, and then needed to come in immediately. Oh, here we go. For those of you that don't know Nathan, my 4 year old autistic son, I knew that this was exactly what she didn't need to see. I didn't think that Nathan yelling profanities at her or pulling down his pants in front of her would make anything better for me. All I could do was pray at this point.
 We waited, and she asked more hate laced questions, and then about 15 minutes later she looked at me and hatefully said 'I thought you said you live 5 minutes away. Where is he?' I don't know how I kept my calm this whole time without yelling at her, but I knew it would only make things worse. So I called Steve, and he was just coming into the building, so he'd be there in 30 seconds. Good. I need backup.
 So he comes in very politely and a little apprehensive, and asks whats going on. She starts to explain what an unfit mother he is married to, and he stops her and just starts yelling. 'How dare you treat my wife like this. She has done nothing wrong. She did exactly what I would have told her to do. I'm a physician here and I know exactly what the would do if she brought him in. They wouldn't induce vomiting because of risk of aspiration, (spouted off a few other things that I don't remember) and they would only observe while he slept it off.  I have never experienced anything like this.'
 She took a step back and I think she realized that she was dealing with someone that knew a lot more than she did, and he was not about to be bullied by her. I'm so in awe of his ability to lose his temper at exactly the right time and have it work exactly the way it needed to. He truly saved the day, and I'm so glad he came. I love him so much, and felt very taken care of and protected.
 She then asked him a ton of questions, and then asked us to leave so she could question Shaun and Rachel (I had explain Nathan to her while we were waiting for them to arrive, and he didn't fail to perform to the best of his abilities- licking the floor in the ER may be the grossest thing he has ever done, which says volumes. He even showed off his naked bum to her). I asked them afterwards what she said- Do you feel safe with your mom? Has your mom or dad ever hurt you? etc. I'm glad they didn't tell me until after we left because I would have slapped her.
 I think in the end that it was good for her to observe us with our kids, and see that we really do love each other, because she told us that she would not be taking our kids away today. She would be launching a full investigation, though, and coming to the house and walking through, and asked for references. Luckily I have some references that love me and are totally credible -Nathan's therapists that are government employees themselves. It pays to know people in high (low?) places. She said that she needed to talk to her supervisor, and it could have 2 outcomes- inconclusive- nothing happens and its dropped, or negligent- and they take our kids away and we'll forever have a criminal history. I hate this woman.
 Needless to say, our house has been spotless since Wed, and I haven't let the kids out of my sight for a second. They're starting to get sick of me.
The moral to this horrible story is... if your child gets into someone elses' meds, don't take them to the ER. Okay, not really, but take a lawyer with you, and maybe try and record any interaction with government workers as evidence of abuse on a poor, Innocent victim of a hate crime.

Too little, too late?

My goal is to post something once a year, so I'm barely making it before May 10th sneaks up on us again (not really. I'm just a total slacker, and haven't thought about blogging since last post, except when people come up to me at church and say 'Why haven't you blogged anything since your cruise?') So this is me trying to make up for lost time and give you a very long and epic account of my year since the cruise. Here it goes...

Our Cruise (just me and Steve)

We went on the vacation of our lives. No kids. No stress. No internet/cell phones/pagers. No kids. Just me and my husband and as much food as we could eat in a lifetime. We went to Grand Cayman and Cozumel on the Grandeur of the Seas which is the smallest ship in the Royal Caribbean fleet. It held 2000 guest and 700 staff. We docked next to the Oasis, which is their largest ship, and actually the largest ship in the world. It holds 6500 guests and something like 2300 staff. It towered over us, and the guests felt pretty cool about themselves and made quite a few jokes at our expense. It was actually pretty funny. 'Whats the weather like down there?' and 'Are we blocking your sun?' were a few of the typical lines. Its funny how people get possessive of things that do not belong to them.

Grandeur of the Seas

Our new friends from the cruise: Diane and Marcio, and Melanie and Ryan. We had so much fun with them. We were the only ones with kids, but we felt like we were all the same because (did I mention) our kids weren't there with us. It was so nice to feel like an actual grown up, with intelligent things to say instead of a mom with Dora on the brain constantly (I can't fall asleep sometimes because I'll get Dora songs repeating over and over in my head. 'We're the pirate pigs. We're the pirate pigs.' I didn't have that problem at all on this trip :)

The beautiful waters of the Caribbean. I was amazed at how vivid the colors of the ocean are there. Its either a dark rich blue, or this amazing turquoise. It was gorgeous.

If any of you out there knows me well, you know that I am a chicken. I am not daring in any stretch of the imagination. I'm afraid of most things including roller coasters, heights of any kind, and volcanoes. Not so on this trip. We actually swam with stingrays, and held them and kissed them and we didn't even die (I say this, because my formal self would have been convinced that such an activity could only lead to death).

Something that I was not afraid of... Karaoke!!! My friend, Melanie and I sang 'Love Shack' by the B52's. It was hilarious and we had the crowd in the palm of our hands. The entertainment on the ship is incredible and there is multiple things going on the entire time. We were thoroughly entertained the whole time.

We highly recommend cruising for everyone (except maybe those who have a deathly fear of lots of happy people in close places). There was no stress, and we had the time of our lives. We will definitely cruise again.

Christmas Eve (Santa came early)

Swine Flu

This is what Swine Flu looks like (Rachel is hamming it up just a bit).

Its just the 2 of us that are sick, so far, but the baby looks like he might get it, too. The doctor said that Shaun and Nathan are fine to be out in public unless they start showing symptoms. Thank goodness, and knock on wood. My neighbor/visiting teacher/friend, Sarah, has been wonderful during this whole thing, checking in on us every once in a while, and bringing food. I love her. Steve has also been great to let me sleep, a lot. I can't wait to be over this.

Family update

My family does a newsletter every month that I'm going to start posting on the blog as well. Sorry to those who have to see it twice, but at least you're getting something, so quit complaining. OK?

The kids went back to school!!! Three out of
the four. Can I get a whoop-whoop? That first day
of school, after the dust settled, I realized I was
really going to like getting to know my baby. Guess
what. He still takes a morning nap, so I play with
him for a while until he gets cranky, I put him
down, and then I do what I want to do for 2 hours.
This is a new experience for me, so for the first few
days I just kinda stared off into space with a
confused look on my face. I figured it out since
then, and now don't know what I'll do if school is
ever cancelled due to snow, swine flu or anything
else ridiculous like that.

It has not all been peaches and cream,
though. We've had way too many Dr. appointments
already, and Rachel has called home sick twice in 2
weeks. I've had to drive back and forth from the
elementary school to the preschool, which is about
20 mins in between, multiple times, Nathan has
incessant diarrhea, the baby has pink eye, Rachel
has a staph infection on her belly, and I had the flu.
It’s like a tilt-a-whirl. You think its going to slow
down, but it just never really does until someone
hurls. And who gets to clean up the mess? The
Mama.
Moving on. Steve is busy this month, and
will be on call a lot this month. He is very tired (Jeff
do you remember?) and feels like he knows no one
outside of work. He does love to go to Costco and
tease me that if I let him work a little bit more,
moonlighting, we'd be able to buy that 54'' plasma.
Very funny, Steve.

I do have some really great news actually.
Shaun started some new medication, because he has
a really hard time keeping his hands to himself, and
keeping his emotions in check, and he is like a new
kid. He comes home from school wanting to tell me
about his day, instead of me having to pull it out of
him, and he's so happy. He is so helpful and kind to
his siblings, and loves to do his homework (he
actually always has though). We have always loved
Shaun so much, but I feel like this is the Shaun I
knew was inside trying to come out. Can I get a huzzah?

Rachel is in Kindergarten now, and is
exhausted and cranky, and I'm pretty sure that
kindergarten is the culprit for causing both. She
comes home and is so excited to tell me
EVERYTHING about her day, and then demands a
snack and the remote. Luckily, she is coming
around, and I think she'll be back to her normal,
happy self soon. She loves drawing flowers and
stars all the time now. She loves anything that is
artsy or crafty. We have a lot of fun working on a
fairy house out of sticks and rocks and anything else

she can find. Her hair is growing so long and she
now lets me actually blow dry it. She looks like a
movie star. She is so pretty.

Nathan is still our work in progress. He is
being seen and "helped" by way too many people,
that sometimes I wonder if it’s actually helping. He
learned to climb out of his crib recently, so we've
been really struggling with his bedtime lately. I
would put him down by telling him a story, singing
a song and then tucking him in, but he kept on
getting out so I finally added locking the door to the
routine. When I told his therapist, she looked at me
like I had just eaten my child. I'd like to see her deal
with him waking her up in the morning by
screaming in her face, chasing him around all day,
cleaning up after his misadventures (i.e. throwing
raw eggs on the kitchen floor. One of his favorites),
trying to figure out what he's screaming all the time,
watching Dora incessantly, protecting the baby
from his fingernails and teeth, and chasing him
around all day, and still have the patience to lay
down for an hour and a half with him every night
and nap. I bet she'd trade in her perfect hair and cute
shoes with heels for a hat and flip flops and do
anything for a little peace. Actually, I just had to
lock the door a few times for him to realize bedtime
was bedtime. He now goes right to sleep, but it took
about 3 weeks for me to not feel guilty about it.
Matthew is adorable and so sweet, still. He
is still small and we just found out that he's in the
10th percentile for weight and the 5th for height. I
don't know quite what to do with such a tiny little
thing. Actually, we just snuggle and love him and
feed him butter. I hope it works. He will be 1 soon,
which is unbelievable to me. I really did just have
him 2, maybe 3 months ago. I sure do love him. He
is the cutest accessory I have and goes with every
outfit, and he's always on my hip.

So, this month has been crazy and busy and
good. We're happy to be on the right track with so
many things

Nathan

I was flipping through the channels tonight, and now that we have cable, PBS has become a distant memory of poorer days, but I felt like I should stop and just check it out. So I stopped, and was surprised to see a program about a chromosomal mutation called fragile X that presents in children like Autism does. I felt like this was for me, and that I need to get Nathan tested. I actually was just asking his therapist yesterday if we should get genetic testing done, because I had read somewhere that it is beneficial, to which she looked at me like I was a overanxious, paranoid mother, and wondered what it would change. I think knowing is 99.9% of the battle. I think that if I had a definitive answer on why he is the way he is, then we would all look at it differently, and be able to help him better. Plus, it is genetic, so we could make sure that if, say, Matthew had it, we could get him help earlier (I'm not saying I think he does, but just an example).

Nathan was diagnosed a while ago with PDD (which is on the autism spectrum) and ADHD, so is very hyper and busy and difficult to manage, but is about the sweetest little boy you'll ever meet. I think that we are being led down this path, and I'm very hopeful to see whats around the bend. Any prayers that are sent our way will be greatly appreciated and gladly reciprocated.