to gogo..

Happy 25th Birthday! :)



P.S. Jogging did not happen this morning :(

"Good is good and bad is bad..."

Good:
-bumping into people everyday, all the time on campus :)))))))
-classes with friends that help me stay awake! especially night class..
-dinner and talking with Arthur and Gabe (for like 3 hours!)... talking about... church ministry... school.... "spreading your wings to fly"... and..."brewing tea"... hahaha (i.e. boys & girls & dating) :P
-hip hop class with Winnie!!!!!!! hehehe.. so much fun :) Janet Jackson's on repeat in my head... :)
-seeing everyone at TCBY after hip hop :) plus the frozen yogourt itself :)
-baking brownies for all the houses on the other side of campus :) it makes them happy and it makes me feel good :P
-dates with Alex and Melissa (finally!) :)
-good talks with Paul and Lydia
-getting to run the cutest 3 month olds at the lab :)
-Hannah coming to CCF tomorrow night!! :)

Bad:
-seeing C.A.'s dressed by their floors for charity...*shudder* cross dressing + inappropriateness galore o_O
-blow to self esteem... cuz I'm "ugly"... :( ...but I have a lot of company :P hahaha
-crazy sleeping hours and lack of sleep in general
-falling asleep at the library and getting no studying done :(
-drank my first cup of coffee this year... and still fell asleep immediately afterwards :(
-no more 99 cent waffle cone Wednesdays at TCBY :( *tear*
-missed bbq at Justin and Dustin's place tonight
-going to the lab at 9am on Fridays... even though I have no scheduled class on Fridays!
-much needed studying did not happen tonight :(((((((((

More good:
-going home this weekend for Nat's birthday
-Amelia's home this weekend too! :)
-Thanksgiving's right around the corner
-excited for tomorrow's CCF
:)

I think I'm going to sleep now... I'm exhausted. Trying to study right now would be futile.


...I am going jogging at 7:15am with Jessica Ip tomorrow morning. It WILL happen.

P.S. This is will be my first time exercising since I moved back to Hamilton... : S Meanwhile... my housemate is running a half marathon in 2 weeks.... o_O haha.... proud of you Manda! :)

mark schultz - you are a child of mine

I’ve been hearing voices
Telling me that I could
Never be what I wanna be.
They’re binding me with lies,
Haunting me at night,
And saying there’s nothing to believe.
Somewhere in the quietness,
When I’m overcome with loneliness,
I hear You call my name.
And like a father You are near
And as I listen I can hear You say

You are a child of Mine
Born of My own design
And you bear the heart of life.
No matter where you go,
Oh, you will always know
You have been made free in Christ.
You are a child of Mine

And so I listen as You tell me who I am
And who it is I’m gonna be.
And I hang on every word,
Knowing I have heard
I am Yours and I am free
But when I am alone at night
That is when I hear the lie
You’ll never be enough
And though I’m giving into fear
If I listen I can hear You say

You are a child of Mine
Born of My own design
And you bear the heart of life.
No matter where you go,
Oh, you will always know
You have been made free in Christ.
You are a child of Mine


. . . .that song was so written for me.
:)

I just got the best, most encouraging email from a frosh... :) She's really excited and wants to study more of the Bible and read lots of books... she thinks ccf is a big blessing and is almost 100% sure she wants to join :) And she was worried in the summer that she wasn't going to find a group of Christian friends.. but now she knows that she's at Mac for a reason and God will provide no matter what :) And she's excited to see what God's gonna do this year. :)
So am I!!!!!!!

I'm off to the library... better late than never right? :)

Oh what a beautiful morning,

Oh what a beautiful day.
I've got a beautiful feeling,
Everything's going my way.
:)

What a glorious day. The 9am start nearly killed me.. but I made it :P Second subject cancelled and I booked 4 babies in an hour!! Weeee!!! And I'm home early to eat and nap :)

Can't wait for Bible study tonight!!!!! :)

i'm thankful for...

-God answering prayer
-the Holy Spirit convicting me...making me want to change and continually realign myself with God
-people who love bible studies :)
-an awesome sharing/talking time with gabe tonight
-the library
-my family who love and support and pray for me.. who encourage and motivate me more than they know
-my friends who trust me enough to share with me their struggles and problems
-the ability to pray for people and know that it's the most and least that i can do
-late night chats :)
-opportunities to get to know people better
-the end to a crayyyyzeeee jam packed busy week
-the freedom to hibernate at the library this weekend
-upper and lower year small groups!! :)
-good catching up phone calls :) even if they're long overdue :P
-rita springer's "worth it all"
-all the love that is in my life.... knowing that i am loved much by many many people God's graciously put in my life
-God's priceless, matchless sufficient grace
-sleep.... rest...
-the fact that i could literally go on forever

:)

:)

Got some much needed quality quiet time with God today. Just went to health sci for like an hour after meeting up with my prof and it was so good just to flip through the Bible.. looking for scripture that jumped out at me and reaffirmed the goals I had just set for myself this year.
:)

I think I'm gonna post up my goals and a few verses everyday over the next little while that really spoke to me... challenged me and encouraged me :) There were sooo many verses! Over 30!! Of course.. a lot of them were from the same book and/or chapter... :)

But I hope you'll all draw strength from these verses and be as comforted and challenged by them as I am :)

. . . . Our house is mad hot right now after cooking the whole afternoon for ccf's progressive dinner tonight. We made caesar salad, veggies and dip, pineapple and sausage on toothpicks, potato wedges (which turned out pretty well! :D) and chicken nuggets.
Gotta run!
I'm coming home this weekend... and I can't wait :) This week passed by sooooo sloooowly. And even though it's only been 2 weeks since I've been home.. it feels like so much longer than that! Funny how I've been having the time of my life here, yet I'm still kinda missing home :)

P.S. I love doing devos at the library!!!! :)

arrggghh.......... note to self:

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
-Matthew 6:33

James 5:16

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

I can't begin to express or explain what a blessing my housemates are to me. It would take way too much time and space to tell about the countless times they have comforted me, prayed for me, encouraged me, rebuked me, convicted me, inspired me...... God knew what he was doing, putting the 4 of us together. We balance each other out completely... Jess with her practicality, get-things-done efficiency and belly ache causing, ab-forming stories and comments that are SO hilarious :D.... Amanda with her cheerful, bright personality.. Scarb music, donk use of non Webster dictionary words.... and Lydia, the loving motherly one that keeps us grounded, in check and on track. Me...I guess I'm the baby of the house (along with Amanda).. although technically Jess is the youngest.

But these girls are more than housemates - they're sisters in Christ. Based on the verse James 5:16, we've had a weekly (pretty much) prayer/sharing/accountability time since we first started living together last year. And God has blessed us abundantly with the peace that comes with prayer, the freedom that comes from transparency with each other... and the healing that comes from confessed sin and repentence. We've grown closer than ever and I give thanks for this accountability group I can so freely share with and grow from.

Tonight was the first (extended) 5:16 of third year... and my heart is so full of thanksgiving, admiration, awe and praise to God for what he has been teaching each of us the past 4 months of summer... what he's shown us...done for us and how he keeps on faithfully continuing the good work he has started in each of us.

There's too much to share... but God definitely spoke to me tonight through Amanda's sharing what God's revelaed to her this summer about boundaries... guarding a brother's and your own heart... and relationships with guys in general. Praise God that things are more clear to me now... and I still need to pray more about it, but I'm leaning towards renewing my original promise to God.

More on this later... it's bedtime :)

where is your heart - kelly clarkson

Colossians 3:1-2 (ESV)
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Things have been very busy... but very fun. I've been loving every minute back in Hamilton. There's always something to do... someone to see... somewhere to go. Well maybe not *always*, but close enough. Just today, I caught up with one of my roommates from first year for over 3 hours over cheese and tomato omelettes :) It was amazing to see pictures of her time in Malawi serving God and the orphans there with Children of the Nations. She's grown so much spiritually and is such an encouragement to me in my own walk with God. (Melissa, I loved catching up with you and getting to talk to you... :) Sooo looking forward to our weekly dates! :)) Then, my housemates and I spent most of the evening together enjoying a little street festival in Westdale that was so cute :) "Westitalia" is "Where everyone is Italian for three days in September!" :) Had some good food... listened to some live bands playing oldies... saw lots of old people :)... sampled some chocolate and spreads... just had a really good time with my girls. Afterwards, we went to a place in Dundas called "Room for Dessert", which serves, I think, the best homemade ice cream I've ever had. No joke. 8 Ogilvie Street... everyone who visits Hamilton has to go there :P

But right now...my desk is a mess, covered with books, papers, CDs, stationary and random collected junk... my floor is clean, but littered with bags, books, boxes of unpacked things. I really could have made time to be all unpacked and settled in by now, but I haven't. Instead, I've been occupied with going out, eating out, catching up, spontaneous late night chats.... and just taking it easy when I'm not doing any of the above. Before my parents get too concerned though :P, I realize that I need to buckle down and get my act together. This year is too important and too precious to just sit back and watch it go by. Opportunities, time, abilities and talents must be used to the fullest extent. I need to push myself and persevere and not be afraid to try my best for once.

The most important thing for me right now though, is to get my heart and my mind and my thoughts back on track. I need to realign them.... bring them in sync.... set them all back on things above. I think each of them have been in the right place at some point during the past week, but not all of them, all at the same time. I need to spend some serious quality time with God.

A huge thing for me this year will be priorities. I need to get them straight. Right along with discipline, priorities are crucial.
1. God
2. school
3. hccf

Of course, nestled among these 3 are family and friends....... but I don't know how much time I can devote to keeping in touch with friends at home.. but I guess that's partly what this blog is for...:) Instead of sending 10 emails out to share about what God's been teaching me.. or some epiphany I've had... or when I'm so thankful and happy I'm going to burst.... I can just blog :)

But right now, it's 3am... and it's definitely not the time to be blogging. I've gotta get up in 6 hours for church. One thing (of many) I want to change this year... is sleeping early Saturday nights. I want to be awake and alert enough to be fully present at church and listen to Pastor Bob's message attentively..


Goodbye party mode.... hello serious mode.

first night back in hammy :)

I can't believe I'm back here already. I'm happy and excited to be back... definitely looking forward to a reeeally good year :) Is it weird that I just feel and know that it's going to be an amazing year? Nat said it sounded like.. superstitious or something, but that's the way I feel.

It's definitely different this year. The house is lived in and feels like home :) We're all more experienced and know what to expect.... we know what it's like to live with each other and we know a bit more each other's habits and unique quirks..... we also know how extremely blessed we are to have each other as housemates :) I love you girls!! Can't wait to go back to weekly sharing and praying. 5:16 accountability baby!! I've missed it a lot.

Part of me is sad to no longer see my family everyday.... not be able to go to my home church and see old friends every week. But my excitement for this year is overriding the sadness right now I think. Actually, for sure it is. First night back and already there's been great, quality catching up time... loads of laughs...reminiscing....pho + tcby..... and new memories made :)

I forgot how good it is to be able to plop yourself onto a housemate's bed and just start talking. I forgot how happy it makes me that I live so close to so many good friends. I also forgot how much I love Westdale... how much I love the 4 of us living in our little, cozy house together... how much of a pain in the butt moving in and unpacking is... how I know I'm going to crazily miss getting called out or calling ppl to come out for spontaneous trips to QQs... Snooty's... TCBY... Bean Bar.. and just about any place food is served in Westdale at all hours :)

Sigh :) :) Can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year. It's going to be one crazy, exciting, awesome, fast ride :)

Must get some sleep so I can finish unpacking tomorrow.. and be prepared for a...quasi life altering day ;) eeeeeee! :) :)

pneumatos...

is my second favourite fellowship back home :) After Aletheia, of course. But i love it :) My first time tonight, and it felt like home right away. Learned about loving others... and how we respond to and give love... our personality types... and our spiritual gifts. Nothing was very surprising... except for scoring the highest in celibacy as my spiritual gift. o_O hehehe. That's a first. Oh well... I'm gonna say it's just a phase I'm going through right now :)

Good reminders about how to love.... actively finding out others' needs and meeting them... which requires stepping out of your comfort zone and often loving someone in the love language they respond to rather than the one you're most comfortable giving. And of course, we have the perfect example of love to look to and learn from. :) Love 1 John.... it's all about love :)

More on love later... :P

And so it begins...

I never ever everrrr thought I would start a blog. I told myself I wouldn't...and shouldn't.. and couldn't. It's not even like I've had to fight the inclination to start one before this. And yet... here I am :P

What made me break down and feel compelled to publically write some of my thoughts and feelings out? I guess it was a realization tonight of just how good God is, how faithful and how blessed I am. I felt like I needed to share with others the... I don't even know which words to use - none can do God justice.... wonderful, amazing, gracious things He's done for me and how He's led me and protected me to bring me to where I am in my life right now.

Who I am... what I am... what I know and what I have.... everything is all by the grace of God. Looking back on even just the past 2 years of university... I marvel at how slowly but surely, God's been molding me and shaping me. I have more confidence in who I am and in who He is.... I'm more sure of where I'm going because of where I've been. I still don't know what profession I'll have... who I'm going to marry... if I'm going to marry. But I know with all my heart that God will never leave me.... will never stop wanting the best for me... and that I am safe in the palm of his hand. He is faithful forever... even when I am not faithful to Him. His mercy and grace are sufficient and he has shown and told me this countless times. God is GOOD. (understatement.. but true) :)

I could easily continue and share my whole lifestory on this blog right now, but I must remember why I didn't want to start a blog in the first place.
1) I'm really really really cheung hay (long winded)... and each post could easily be a few pages in Microsoft Word.. if I let myself go on and on and on like I am capable of :P
2) Once I start writing... I'm afraid I won't be able to filter things that are appropriate to write down for all to see, and things I should keep to myself or close friends and family. I love sharing things with other people, but wisdom is needed a lot of the time. I'm afraid that when I'm angry or upset, I'll post something that I'll regret later on. I think this blog has the possiblity of turning into a venting journal for me, which is definitely something I don't want to happen.
3) I'm afraid of spending/wasting too much time blogging when I should be doing other things with my time (i.e. studying.. or sleeping)
4) I just didn't want to conform to everyone else since the whole world has a blog :P

but... all these reasons are overlooked because I really do want to share the amazing things God has done and is doing for me. And I think the encouragement to others (and myself) and the testimony of God's graciousness and goodness overpowers any and all of the above reasons.

And so... this ends post #1... as it is 4:05am and I need to sleep :)

Maybe I'll post more tomorrow... maybe not. I don't promise that I will regularly post.... nor do I promise that this thing won't be gone by next month :P Anything can happen though.... we'll see :)