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Thursday, February 17, 2011 @ 9:51 AM

最近想了很多 我知道我也有不对的地方 可是又有谁希望事情会这样？

Have been thinking for others way too much.. Come to think about it.. I am sick of it.. Helping people and I came to know that no one is there for me when I need help.. All I got back was blame-ing.. Tired about it.. How I wish that I can stop all this by ending my life but dying is not the right way to solve things.. I am more clear than anyone else about this.. Yet I am not having the right thinking on.. All I could do is holding on all the hurts and pain that is inside me silently..

How long can I still hold on to all the pain? Feel like crying again.. Maybe walking in the dark isn't a problem to me for now.. As I am getting used to it but why am I feeling so tired and sick of living?

Don't wish to talk to anyone about this.. Maybe I should just disappear like this into the air and never appear again..

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Tuesday, February 15, 2011 @ 1:53 AM

我没有办法忘记过去，也没有办法走到未来。现在的我已经不在是我了。

Recently, I notice that how much I have changed and how weak I have become.. I am trying to walk out of the past but no matter how hard I tried, nothing had change.. Things will always go back to where I became lost and empty.. Kind of tired from all this, yet I cannot walk out if it.. Sometime I was wondering, if I have made a wrong choice in the past.. Well.. No matter what I say now, nothing is going to change.. The fact is that things are getting worse.. All I could do is emo and keep everything to myself.. Really wish someone can take all my tiredness away from me..

觉得好累，没有办法再忍着了。

If I can have a choice, I really wish that I wasn't born in this world.. Maybe u are the one that are able to change my thinking in the past but no one can change my thinking now because I don't wish to believe in anyone as I already get enough hurts from u.. In the past when I feel like giving up, u will always be there but I am all alone now.. Seriously, I don't know how to move on.. I am trying a life w/o u.. Yet all I see was that I am looking back..

If u see this post, what will u say? Maybe u will think that I am silly but the fact is I don't know how to move on as I know that history will repeat once again.. Just for this week, I already saw few things repeating..

对不起，我始终没有办法往前走。

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