♥ Story of April ♥

Saturday, February 28, 2009 @ 10:39 PM

*Coughing* I am sick again...

Didn't go see doctor as 2dae from afternoon rain until now...

Hmmm, have not been feeling well the past few weeks until now... Hai...

2dae at home check the project planning & do a bit of the project...

After that went to sleep for awhile as I was feeling very sick...

Now a bit better than just now but still coughing... Hai...

Didn't eat much 2dae cause don't feel like eating,

a bit feel like vomiting but now keep on coughing...

Listening to music during afternoon then got one song,

that time listen with him at the school concert... Hai... No comment...

I am alright de ba, I think so...

That's all, everyone take care...

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Friday, February 27, 2009 @ 9:01 PM

>What hurts the most was being so close<

2dae wasn't feeling well but also went to school early in the morning.

Bus stop got a lot of people so took mrt to school.

Think a lot of things when taking mrt train 2dae.

Don't know why...

I am lying to myself as I know the reason...

HATE MYSELF!!! I just cannot forget him... I miss him...

Even he is still my friend but everytime I see him,

I will anyhow think things again... I am sorry...

Feeling lost & hurts deep inside...

I am sick again, having cough...

This morning vomited 2 times...

Didn't go see doctor as too sick to go out...

Anyhow thinking things again so no mood...

Haven't eat my dinner, don't feel like eating... Haix...

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Thursday, February 26, 2009 @ 11:24 PM

>Reply Tag<

To penguin: Wa! don't like that say. I got STM so forget to tell u. Anyway u also know now already ^^

To PuXiu: I am doing fine thks ^^ How about u?

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

@ 11:14 PM

Feeling so tired 2dae...

Trying to have a good rest so didn't do any reading just play psp...

Hmmm, online to blog now cause a bit feeling emo...

Maybe I was thinking too much again.

2dae bring home the class attendance files

cause don't feel like taking 2moro morning...

So will be going school early ba...

A bit not feeling well 2dae, maybe is sickness again.

Not too sure cause haven't go see doctor but should be

cause was coughing from morning until now...

Didn't get to see him much nowaday

cause I was too busy to care about other things...

That's all for 2dae, going to take a good rest already...

>April is feeling sick again<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Monday, February 23, 2009 @ 9:48 PM

Year 2009, Feb 23, another few more months before I graduate from ITE.

Think only left about 8 to 9 months.

Remember when the day I enter ITE,

life was bad as my dad just told me that u enter ITE ar?

I remember he sound sad & upset

but I don't think that his thinking was right as ITE really

taught me a lot & changed me a lot.

I remember I am a person who think that

everyone have to live in the way what others want them to be

but now I don't think so cause ur life is in ur hands only u can help urself up.

Life maybe hard but there are always friends

that are willing to help us up like my classmates ^^

Thks people for helping me, they are the one always there when I have problems.

When I say I am a loner, they will say if u loner than how u know us.

Haha, quite true. How I know u all wor?

I forget liao, only remember u all help me a lot all along.

I am not anyone without u people but time are moving fast.

Now I am more to being solo cause I don't want to let u all see my sad face.

I have too much problems & I am learning to let go,

but what make me sad was I scare to forget the happy memories I had.

At the same time, I also want to forget the sad memories.

I am lost as my family also have a lot of problems,

Idk if how long I can live cause life is hard to say but

I really wish that time could stop within my 2 years of ITE's life...

Even there is unhappiness but all are the past,

I hope that before graduation I am able to be chatting happily with each other.

I am sick now, I know that I need to rest

but there is something that I have to do

before my sleep & it's to listen to the song, the song with memories.

After that song, I will carry on walking on the path I will be going.

I know that I cannot be emo forever but I just can't forget what he told me.

I just want to be alone for the time being as I am very tired already.

Just want to be alone before tmr sun come out...

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 11:34 PM

Just now watch show until half-way grandmom switch off the tv.

Aunt keep on anyhow say things like want to have argument like that.

Lastly, just read my friend's blog the passed posts then become like that.

During Friday at lifeskill lesson my teacher told me that I am a thinker.

I know the meaning to it by I ignored.

I was emo again due to my thinking mind.

Miss the laughter I had in the past, its a laughter from my heart but now is just a pure laughter w/o really feeling happy. Where have happened is already happened but memories just keep appearing in my mind. Idk why, just because I am a thinker I have to be like this?

Hope someone is here now to talk to me but no one.

Am I in a world that no one care? I don't think so.

Maybe is just that everyone is tired already.

I am only feeling a bit more tired than them only, maybe.

I am sorry for everything that I have done.

Just blame everything on me, even if I not in the wrong.

I own too much to other & now is time to pay back.

Even if it cost my life, I don't mind cause is my fault.

I am not April anymore, she is already dead.

Now, I am just a normal person who are waiting to die, maybe.

Last time, u are the one who told me to let go.

I have already listened to u but things ended up worse,

so now I am going on my own way.

Just want to be silent & say nothing.

>I am not myself since the day u left<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

@ 7:27 PM

This morning clean my room for awhile,

now my room become more neat.

^^ Happy cause my room is a bit more clean than before.

Nothing much to do so use the com.

Hmmm, life is boring 2dae.

Tmr going for SW, after that no lifeskill lesson

so going for badminton game with my friends.

After lunch need to go back for Mr Guo's lesson at 1.30pm until 5pm.

So long! Hopefully I still can hold on.

That's all, will online soon if can.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 7:29 PM

2dae after safe home, went home by bus 174 then 154.

Reach home that time was feeling tired & hungry,

so cook noodles to eat then took shower.

After that use com, online msn, nothing more to do

so went to look for anime web online to see got any anime to watch.

Find the web (http://www.animefuel.com/) got a few anime quite nice.

Ended up watch until now ^^

That's all.

April want to buy 4GB memory card for psp & new earpiece

but she have not enough cash to buy them at the same time.

Hai... Hope to find them at a cheaper price if possible.

If got any information, pls let me know. Thks.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Friday, February 20, 2009 @ 10:31 PM

This morning went to school at about 7.20am,

reached school at about 7.50am.

1st lesson was MCT Thy, Mdm Joyce was teaching about the calculation on the locations.

2nd lesson was lifeskill, was told to do a stress suvery.

More of the words are like descripting me. Am I that stress?

Maybe I am.

After awhile went for LKY project then do research on the server & VPN.

Mr Teo teach a lot of things to me during LKY.

I was like wa, so many things don't know how to do.

Went home at about 4.50pm, took the bus 66 to Jurong East as

Ti How di want to make his EZ-link card.

After that, I took bus 52 home.

The bus driver for bus 66 (around the time of 5pm),

he was SUPER BAD in attitude.

Hate taking bus with that type of driver.

During morning, took MRT to school when reached Bukit Batok MRT that time,

got someone like running for death like that, he stepped on my shoes.

Almost make me fall down, hai...

Don't know why nowaday everyone like no mouth like that,

step on people's shoes don't know how to apologize. Hai...

Fate like to play joke on people,

I know it because it's play a not funny joke on me.

Love is something that fate also play with.

It made him appeared in my life, made friend with me.

I am lost after knowing him more. Hai...

Am I missing him or is just that I can't let go?

Tmr need to go for safe home, at BB street.

Hmmm, hope things will be better tmr.

>April is just tired, she haven't give up on hope<

I will be fine cause I believe that there is still hope.

I don't think that fate will keep making me down.

I will continue to wait for good things to happen.

>Hope is something that keep everyone live on with a dream<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Thursday, February 19, 2009 @ 8:51 PM

Keep on got blame by people.

From my grandmom to my aunts to my cousins

to my brothers then to my classmates... Hai...

Don't really feel okay 2dae...

Sorry to all my classmates & friends if I shout at u or whatever...

Ytd night didn't sleep, that's why 2dae also not feeling well...

Maybe will sleep early 2night ba...

Thks to Si Cong ah gong for asking me to calm down during SW

if not I may have kill someone or myself already...

That's all for 2dae...

>I am still not okay<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Wednesday, February 18, 2009 @ 11:06 PM

Life is becoming more & more meaningless each day.

Start to hate everything in my life.

Feeling hurts, lost, emo & helpless.

I am sad, have anyone find out? I don't think so.

He is just like a wind that blow pass me that change my life.

He teached me a lot of things but that is in the pass already.

I will be letting him down again cause I going to give up every little things in my life,

including the laughter that I have. I am sorry.

Life is nothing to me now cause I am all alone deep inside me.

Even if I feel scare or sad, no one is there.

How am I able to live on? Idk.

Sometime I think that one person should think about others before self.

Don't everytime think about urself only cause after long, life will become very meaningless.

Have been feeling very emo 2dae if I show any attitude to u, I am sorry.

Thats all for 2dae cause still feeling very no mood.

(April is still feeling hurts deep inside, she really need some rest)

When will I be able to have a good rest?

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Monday, February 16, 2009 @ 10:29 PM

WTH is this, my cousin want to sleep

then ask me to go to the living room to use my com,

my brother only know how to say me. *ANGRY*

This time don't know want to try my luck or follow the step of fate,

hai... If I tell or don't tell also like that.

Hmmm, don't care already. Just want to forget everything & be myself.

The happy April or can say crazy...

I don't think I will be as fine as the last time cause I am giving up this time.

Sorry for giving up as I am really very very tired already.

I want to have some rest...

>April will be away from this messy world for quite some time<

Rainbow will appear again someday after the rain.

When that day come, April will be fine.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Sunday, February 15, 2009 @ 7:05 PM

What if time can return back the past?

Will I still be able to be like what I am now?

What if I didn't know him, will I be better?

If everything were to start all over, will I choose the same path?

I don't know whether I should let him know what I am thinking about...

I scare to lost my laughter again...

If I let him know then what will happen? No one know about it...

Already have that hopeless feeling before so I don't want to hurt myself again...

I am sorry to myself...

When will I meet him again the next time? I don't think have that change already...

I don't know should I let him know but I think better don't...

Just feeling helpless...

PSP case was broken, my Aunt called me just now

asking me if I want to buy a new one?

I told her if can help me buy...

My cupboard is in a mess again

*faint* going pack it as soon as possible.

Words left unsaid by me:

Deep in my heart,

I know that I haven't let go much what I should let go like my mei said that time.

Even if I keep saying I have let go but I know I didn't.

No one find that I have changed a lot,

not because of what others said about me is

becasue that I want to be happy after the change I have made

but ended up more sad & lonely is what I became.

I don't think anyone know what have really happened to me,

not because I didn't said is that when I said that time no one care.

I am surpose to be like this?

Someone always tell me to look ahead then everything will be okay

but everytime when I look ahead,

bad things will come into the way.

Why is it that I have to feel that helpless within me

without anyone there knowing about it

& they just keep thinking that I am fine as long as I look okay... :'(

I dream about my love one leaving me ytd night,

I become so helpless after that...

I know that dream are not surpose to come true

but what if it really come true...

I think is becasue I am sick which made me think too much...

I am sorry...

>Nothing seem okay for me recently<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

@ 3:13 PM

Ytd afternoon, my house got agurement again *faint*

During the night didn't go out as I was sick.

This morning cannot wake up as I was still feeling sick.

Wake up at about 1pm, was having headache. Hai...

Use com at about 2pm, still feeling sick

but no choice have to do something before 2dae end.

Still have headache,

going offline soon as I have to take shower.

After that, going out for a walk.

Feel like vomiting again *faint*

>April is still sick, it have been about 3 days already<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Friday, February 13, 2009 @ 9:38 PM

This morning went to school at 7.15am

then take my own sweet time traveling to school, reach at 7.50am...

1st lesson was MCT Thy, we only do assignment...

2nd lesson was lifeskill, we were doing Valentine Day project.

It is a class party to be actual.

After that most of my classmate went home, only left a few of us doing LKY project.

Was feeling quite sick at that time already but just keep silent,

didn't tell anyone cause have to do the VPN

but when later my thumbdrive got problem, I totally sian already.

The data inside will be all gone cause I have to format it. Hai...

After that, I was getting a bit emo so went to the next room & rest,

ended up fall asleep.

Awhile later when I wake up, I was feeling bad

cause my headache got worse, actully wanted to do GPS

but Ti How di told me to rest as the weather was too warm so didn't do.

On the way home was feeling worse... Getting more sick...

When reach home, went to the washroom & vomit...

Now still sick also haven't eat my dinner...

>April is sick again as she didn't take good care of herself<

Actually thinking of going JP 2moro around 6pm to see JJ

but because of my sickness 2dae, I don't think can go out 2moro...

Valentine at home due to sickness...

2dae bought a packet valentine's cookies as

there were students going round the school to sell.

Actually wanted to give someone but didn't cause don't dare...

Anyway, like that, what is over is already over...

Waiting for my kor kor's birthday

cause my lst kor kor going oversea at 28 Feb

& will be back during his bdae,

also this year is my 2nd kor kor de 21st bdae.

All at March wor...

^^ Wish that everything go well this month...

Hai... Still very sick.

Going rest soon...

Feeling like vomitting again...

>April is very sick<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Thursday, February 12, 2009 @ 10:42 PM

Just end a call with my mei. I call her cause I was feeling quite bored, sian & a bit emo???

Not too sure cause this few days the feeling all mix up already...

Hai... Grandmother not feeling well again then she keep on calling me to help...

Very tired already but aunt don't want help her

then in the end no choice, have to help who call me to be the KPO person at home,

everything also want help.

Life seem boring nowaday or it is I left with nothing to do liao?

Don't know... Feeling a bit sick...

2dae went to Dover ITE for a talk on the Eco Energy,

the talk was long enough for one person to fall asleep, maybe I was too tired also ba...

Going sleep already...

>Life seem meaningless sometime<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 @ 10:09 PM

*faint* Hai, 2dae badminton end at 6.30pm then went to long john eat dinner.

Reach home at 9pm plus. Feeling tired, sian & stress

cause pratical test is 2moro. OMG!!!

No comment...

Let talk about the dream I had ytd night:

Hmmm, it started I was at school doing my job sheet on the MCT

then my mei ask me pei her go out.

Hmmm, I agree so went out of the classroom

suddenly become at shopping mall.

After that a lot of things happened,

I saw something like a rat or mouse.

The size is like human size.

My alarm ring so wake up & see hp,

got 3 message from my friends and 2 missed calls...

There is still one part of the dream didn't say out cause it's a secret

(not really secret but due to some reason, that's why cannot tell)

Going rest already as I was tired, That's all...

>April is stress cause of test, tired cause of not having enough rest<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

@ 10:15 AM

Sian... Just wake up not long then recived message telling me

that morning lesson is cancelled...

So got more time to do nothing at home...

Later going school at about 12.30pm for the lesson at 1pm... *faint*

Ytd night got nightmare, OMG...

Lucky my alarm ring if not sure will faint...

Feel that 2dae the head very heavy, think got headache...

Wahaha this morning the dishes mama cook de...

^^ Happy cause long time didn't eat mama cook the things already...

Hai... April is busy & tired...

Maybe want to go for check up cause don't feel well this few weeks...

See 1st cause the most worse is only left few weeks to live

then the most alright is nothing happen...

But don't think will be so luck to get a report that tell me nothing happen...

>Not feeling well now, hope that will be better later<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

@ 12:05 AM

12am plus already but haven't sleep,

watching show & thinking things.

Hmmm, That's all...

Going offline soon...

2moro got badminton so don't think that I will online...

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 @ 9:59 PM

Look for information on depression.

If anyone know anything pls let me know. Thks.

Depression is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts, that affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. People with a depressive disease cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people with depression.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

@ 8:37 PM

(Thks god for not giving me the best & worse

that made me understand more about this world)

Hmmm, 2dae almost late for school cause overslept.

The reason was because I drink alcohol ytd night.

Why drink? Cause my mind was feeling empty ytd night,

don't really know I have let the bygone be bygone already or...

Hai... *faint* don't know what to say already cause I am still myself after all.

This Thu having MCT Pra test, don't know can pass or not. Hope can make it.

Fri having Valentine day project for lifeskill

then my friend ask me to sing song (WTH is this)

If really got sing maybe singing Always Online (not too sure yet)

2dae afternoon went to JP with Kok Hwa di cause he want buy things for his gf.

Long time didn't chat with him already then 2dae got chance to chat with him,

found out that their group weird weird, hope that is just I think too much.

*faint* Feeling super tired this few days. Why? I DON'T KNOW!!!

Hai, want to rest but...

Trying to feel calm now, wahaha

(laughing? not really cause don't have the mood. Feel more like crying)

Want to cut hair 2dae but the shop didn't open again (WTH)

It said that it will only reopen at about 3 March

(so long time, later my hair grow until like ghost liao)

so maybe going Sunset Way the shop to cut liao (no choice)

He already left my life, he was only part of my memories now.

Will not think about him anymore

(not because I want to forget him,

I only scare that I will anyhow think & become emo again)

Even if I don't think already emo, it will only causes me to be more emo.

Let go not because I am fine is just that I want to live on feeling better.

>Sorry to myself for lying to myself<

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Monday, February 9, 2009 @ 9:19 PM

Brand new day, brand new life...

April suddenly find someone that are important to her in some ways...

In another words, there is a possible that she maybe in love with him

but she don't want to let that person know

cause when she see that he is happy,

she feel better as each day past...

Don't really know what is the reason to it but he is special to me in some ways...

^^ As long as he is happy I will be fine...

Love him not because of his smart thinking,

good looking or whatever, love him because of a lot of reasons...

Even if he don't know about it I also don't mind ^^

Thks him for a lot of things

(some of it maybe he also don't know)

Wahaha... April is more cheerful now

(not because of any other things, just because of his smile)

This afternoon was feeling very emo,

sorry to anyone whose I show the emo-ness to them...

During afternoon, I was thinking too much thats why I was emo...

Sorry people for making u all worried... Now I felt better already ^^

During Valentine Day, I maybe will go out myself to walk walk or stay at home ^^

(I am learning to be more happy as each day past & the reason is him)

^^ Living on for myself as he told me something meaningful that day when I was with him.

Thks for ur words which made me feel more better. ^^

As I promised before hand,

I will leave a notes some where in the world so as to remember that

I have met someone so special like u.

Take good care of urself & hope that some days we will meet again ^^

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Saturday, February 7, 2009 @ 9:47 PM

Feeling okay 2dae, afternoon have a badminton game with my cousin at blk downstair.

Now listening to music, feeling relax... But was thinking something...

Hmmm, thinking how my friends know about my problems...

Just let the bygone to be bygone...

(Heard this from a TV show & found that it can be use on me)

Feeling better 2dae but still not in good mood inside...

Hai... What have happened to April Chua??? No one know even she herself...

Learning to let things go as time past

but sometimes there will still be someone there saying things

that remind me of the past memories...

Feeling hurts & emo but don't know who to turn to...

If only someone can be there for me...

I was sick again, tooth also pain...

Haven't eat my dinner cause no mood also...

Only drink plum juice which made me feel more hungry but don't feel like eating...

There is no other way than just to listen to song that let me calm down a bit...

(April is lost again but not because of him,

it is because of the memories that she remember)

Wish that everyone can be happy

when they are with their love ones on the Valentine Day...

(Even if on that day I feel emo or cry I wouldn't let anyone know)

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Friday, February 6, 2009 @ 8:36 PM

2dae after project took bus home, ended up sleep in the bus cause too tired,

some more over the stop I should alight... Hai...

When reached home also very tired so went to take shower

then my Aunt so sudden say want eat steamboat so she made it...

Just finished eating...

During the project Normil asked me something which made me think back...

:'( Idk... Really cannot make it anymore...

Anyway, this is not the 1st time after that incident...

Year 2008, 22 April, last year I thought that I could let go of the past...

Same year, around May, I thought that the choice I made will keep me fine...

Same year, around July, feeling hurts & lost with the words told by my friends...

Same year, 24 Dec, Christmas Eve, I was emo and drink quite a lot of beer at home...

Year 2009, Jan, thought that everything is over but...

This year, today, emo-ing again... Y???

*Screaming* No one know what have happened...

But it just hurts so much...

I am to be blame for what I have done...

:'( Trying to run away but there is no place for me to run to...

4ever emo, sad, lonely, darkness life...

Mistake done cannot be undo...

Trying to hate myself but I can't cause u told me not to...

I DON'T KNOW!!! :'(

Can anyone talk to me now??? :'(

(I am sorry, I still can't let go)

If things can be undo, I want to let all my feeling be kept in my heart 4ever.

I am sorry.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Thursday, February 5, 2009 @ 10:40 PM

Living on each day w/o knowing what I really want...

Hmmm, not too sure what am I thinking nowadays... Confused???

lol, don't know... Emo??? Not really...

I DON'T KNOW!!! Going to get depression soon if continue like this...

No comment...

Hmmm, 2moro will be busy with project again...

My house messy also no time to clean... Hai... Fainted...

Hmmm, listening back old music nowadays then find them quite nice wor...

Nowadays EQ seem low

(EQ is something to done with emotions)

so like a bit more easy to get angry, emo or whatever...

Hmmm, hope it will go back to normal ba...

2dae at class got a bit laugh like crazy woman... Lol...

Just because of Mdm Joyce said that Si Cong Ah Gong's

hairstyle look like he just see a ghost...

Hahaha... Funny lor...

Like that only ba, will on9 again soon de... If possible 2moro ^^

Before I leave, one last thing to say:

April will not be as fine as her old self but

she will be ok and live on even if she is down or whatever...

But she still have her weakness so don't try to attack her weakness

if not she will for sure to be emo for the next few days...

(Am I still anyhow thinking things???)

The ans will be know soon...

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Monday, February 2, 2009 @ 9:37 PM

Don't know since when start to scare of things that are happening in life...

1st: Things that are happening in life cannot be know in the first place,

2nd: Sometimes life seem like no target,

3rd: Each little life need something to keep them going on & more...

If u know what I am saying then understand it, if u don't know then try to know it...

Hmmm, now my life is a no target life...

Only trying to pass each day with learning something from my teacher in school...

Hai, if u know what I mean...

>Lyrics: It's Not Over by Daughtry<

I was blown away
What could I say
It all seemed to make sense
You've taken away everything
And I can't deal with that.

I try to see the good in life
but good things in life are hard to find
We'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

Well I'll try to do it right this time around
Let's start over
Try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

I've taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We're wastin too much time
Bein strong, holdin on
Can't let it bring us down

My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?
Cause it's all misunderstood

We can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out

Let's start over
We'll try to do to it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

Let's start over
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Sunday, February 1, 2009 @ 8:46 PM

Sometime thing is better to be left unsaid...

2moro going school at 8am, hai so early... Feeling very no mood now...

Some more very sick also... Hai... Think will sleep early 2night...

2dae wanted to cut hair de but the shop not open... Hai...

Tired & sick... Nothing much to say...

>Listening to music, I still miss her by JJ<

Ytd my cousin told me that she long time didn't heard me singing le...

Then I told her I am sick but the main reason is I don't feel like singing le...

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