Signing Papers
Miriam is trying to pick a stuffed animal
Our Family
We were almost the last ones to get to court on the day of Miriam's adoption. Some of the people coming had to drive more than an hour, but we live about three minutes away. We got to court about 8:40am and it was pretty cold outside and we had to stand in a line of people waiting to go through the metal detectors for jury duty. While we were waiting, we saw my sister Catherine and her kids and my niece Lily walking up, and I got so excited to see them! We went through the metal detectors then and turned right and looked down the hall, and I could see Chuck's parents and my parents and my sister Marie, and I got even more excited. When we walked down the hall we hugged everyone and I felt pretty emotional. It felt very unreal. Chuck's sister and her husband and their daughter were there also, and some of our friends . It meant so much to us to have our family and friends there that day. I said we were lame to be almost the last ones there, but they were all worried about being late, I guess, and we were just out of it. I mean, I had to do my hair, you know, and how can you function on a day that you have waited four and a half years for, I just don't know.
Our attorney came and brought Miriam a cute brown teddy bear and I think I held it almost the entire time we were waiting. The plan was that our judge would meet with the attorneys from 8:45 to about 9:15 and then do our adoption before his regular calendar started at 9:30. But we waited and waited that day, and didn't know why, until finally our attorney came outside, after other cases had been called for more than an hour, and told us that we were missing a form and they had been trying to track it down. Our caseworker had filed his adoption report with the court and had said he was filing the form asking for an amended birth certificate, but it wasn't there. They were calling back and forth and eventually decided that they could go ahead anyway. All that time I just thought there was a delay, I didn't know anything was wrong, but I was starting to get really anxious and uptight anyway. I am glad we didn't know what was happening.
While we were waiting everyone stood around and talked and Miriam ran and ran and ran up and down the hall, in her good Christmas dress. She also laid on the floor and slid around on her tummy. Chuck followed her and was very patient, and we had to block her at both ends of the hall. It was exhausting, but she finally started to run out of steam. The other kids were very good, and very patient.
So finally we were called to go into the court room, and our families came in too, and we all sat down. Then the judge came and stood in front of the table where there were two chairs for us, and we came up with Miriam. First they swore us in. Just like on TV. Then the judge gave us the adoption form and told us to check and make sure all the information was correct, like names and addresses, and then told us to sign it.
Then he asked Chuck, "Are you willing to be Miriam's father, as if she was born to you, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with that?" Yes. "And do you have your wife's permission to do so?" Yes. Then he asked me, "Are you willing to be Miriam's mother, as if she was born to you, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with that?" Yes. "And do you have your husband's permission to do so?" I was crying by this time and looked at Chuck for him to say yes, but then realized I was supposed to answer, and said, Yes. The clerk found some Kleenex for me, which is so funny, I'm surprised I didn't think of that. Then the judge said that he had gone over the forms with us and witnessed that we had signed them. He said that we had agreed to be Miriam's parents, and then said Miriam's name, with her new (not so new) last name.
Every child that goes into that courtroom gets to choose a stuffed animal, and so Miriam got to go behind our table toward the Judge's stand, and there were stuffed animals lined up on the floor and on his stand. She didn't quite know what to do though, so the judge grabbed this beautiful fat lamb with the softest wool and gave it to her, and it is now with the menagerie on her bed. They also allowed the photographers to stand facing us so they could take pictures. When we were done we came around the table and stood with the judge and took pictures in front of the state seal. Chuck was holding Miriam and when we were done he put her down and she went over to the judge and hugged him around his knees. He picked her up and she hugged him some more and then we took another picture with him holding her. That was pretty great.
Our family tells us that the court reporter and the bailiff smiled a lot and seemed to enjoy it. We left then, and some people had to leave, but we went with my parents and sisters and nieces and nephews to get breakfast, although it was almost lunchtime by then. Chuck's parents left, but gave us the white dress Grandma had made for Miriam to wear to the temple and to church to be blessed. It was so perfectly beautiful! We had a great time at the restaurant, but I found that I was very very tired. Miriam still had some energy though, which is good. She took Chuck to go potty many times that day and I don't think she ever went once.
We went home then and I said, "Goodbye, it was nice knowing you," and went to bed and passed out. Chuck and Miriam were energized though, and did a bunch of yard work. That day I couldn't really take in what happened, but the next day I did feel different! I did feel like, for the first time, calling our daughter her full name, and called her that several times that day. I felt like we were official, like we were a real family, not just saying we were. Now, I know we were a real family before, but this did matter. I was surprised that the adoption was like a wedding ceremony, and I was surprised by how sweet it was, and will never forget what it felt like to stand there in front of the judge and promise to be Miriam's mom. What an amazing thing. I haven't been able to be pregnant yet, and have missed out on that, but how amazing was this experience, and I would never trade that for anything.
We love Miriam so much, and we could not love her more if she had been born to us, and now she is our daughter as if she had been born to us, and there is no difference, but what a cool story we have to tell her.
Our attorney came and brought Miriam a cute brown teddy bear and I think I held it almost the entire time we were waiting. The plan was that our judge would meet with the attorneys from 8:45 to about 9:15 and then do our adoption before his regular calendar started at 9:30. But we waited and waited that day, and didn't know why, until finally our attorney came outside, after other cases had been called for more than an hour, and told us that we were missing a form and they had been trying to track it down. Our caseworker had filed his adoption report with the court and had said he was filing the form asking for an amended birth certificate, but it wasn't there. They were calling back and forth and eventually decided that they could go ahead anyway. All that time I just thought there was a delay, I didn't know anything was wrong, but I was starting to get really anxious and uptight anyway. I am glad we didn't know what was happening.
While we were waiting everyone stood around and talked and Miriam ran and ran and ran up and down the hall, in her good Christmas dress. She also laid on the floor and slid around on her tummy. Chuck followed her and was very patient, and we had to block her at both ends of the hall. It was exhausting, but she finally started to run out of steam. The other kids were very good, and very patient.
So finally we were called to go into the court room, and our families came in too, and we all sat down. Then the judge came and stood in front of the table where there were two chairs for us, and we came up with Miriam. First they swore us in. Just like on TV. Then the judge gave us the adoption form and told us to check and make sure all the information was correct, like names and addresses, and then told us to sign it.
Then he asked Chuck, "Are you willing to be Miriam's father, as if she was born to you, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with that?" Yes. "And do you have your wife's permission to do so?" Yes. Then he asked me, "Are you willing to be Miriam's mother, as if she was born to you, with all the rights and responsibilities that come with that?" Yes. "And do you have your husband's permission to do so?" I was crying by this time and looked at Chuck for him to say yes, but then realized I was supposed to answer, and said, Yes. The clerk found some Kleenex for me, which is so funny, I'm surprised I didn't think of that. Then the judge said that he had gone over the forms with us and witnessed that we had signed them. He said that we had agreed to be Miriam's parents, and then said Miriam's name, with her new (not so new) last name.
Every child that goes into that courtroom gets to choose a stuffed animal, and so Miriam got to go behind our table toward the Judge's stand, and there were stuffed animals lined up on the floor and on his stand. She didn't quite know what to do though, so the judge grabbed this beautiful fat lamb with the softest wool and gave it to her, and it is now with the menagerie on her bed. They also allowed the photographers to stand facing us so they could take pictures. When we were done we came around the table and stood with the judge and took pictures in front of the state seal. Chuck was holding Miriam and when we were done he put her down and she went over to the judge and hugged him around his knees. He picked her up and she hugged him some more and then we took another picture with him holding her. That was pretty great.
Our family tells us that the court reporter and the bailiff smiled a lot and seemed to enjoy it. We left then, and some people had to leave, but we went with my parents and sisters and nieces and nephews to get breakfast, although it was almost lunchtime by then. Chuck's parents left, but gave us the white dress Grandma had made for Miriam to wear to the temple and to church to be blessed. It was so perfectly beautiful! We had a great time at the restaurant, but I found that I was very very tired. Miriam still had some energy though, which is good. She took Chuck to go potty many times that day and I don't think she ever went once.
We went home then and I said, "Goodbye, it was nice knowing you," and went to bed and passed out. Chuck and Miriam were energized though, and did a bunch of yard work. That day I couldn't really take in what happened, but the next day I did feel different! I did feel like, for the first time, calling our daughter her full name, and called her that several times that day. I felt like we were official, like we were a real family, not just saying we were. Now, I know we were a real family before, but this did matter. I was surprised that the adoption was like a wedding ceremony, and I was surprised by how sweet it was, and will never forget what it felt like to stand there in front of the judge and promise to be Miriam's mom. What an amazing thing. I haven't been able to be pregnant yet, and have missed out on that, but how amazing was this experience, and I would never trade that for anything.
We love Miriam so much, and we could not love her more if she had been born to us, and now she is our daughter as if she had been born to us, and there is no difference, but what a cool story we have to tell her.
Miriam fell asleep in the afternoon, while Chuck was carrying her on the River Boat, which was amazing. She never does that, so we took pictures for evidence.
