Buying Forgiveness

I snapped. I snapped and I felt awful. Temper lost. Screaming and yelling. I kicked the chest of drawers.

Why can't they just keep their rooms clean??

The drawer front fell off the chest of drawers. It is a cheap piece of junk but, I knew I had acted like an idiot. I knew. I went outside and collected myself. I came back in and apologized. I approached it from another direction and the rooms got cleaned.

This evening I went out to buy wood glue to fix the chest of drawers. I also bought two Barbies. They are happy. My conscience still isn't.

Having my husband gone isn't easy. I miss him. It is hard to keep everything going like clockwork around the house and sometimes I am just exhausted. That however is no excuse to lose my temper and act like a crazy woman. One day, I won't be able to buy their forgiveness.

Dear So and So...Happy Birthday to Meeeeee

Dear Lady at Book Club,

Just because you have on a multicolored striped shirt on doesn't mean you're a hippie. I just don't see you practicing "free love", smoking reefer, or dropping LSD any time soon.

Stay Away From The Brown Acid, Kat

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Dear The Man,

Thanks for the most awesome birthday present ever.

Love, Kat

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Dear Kids,

I'll let you slide since you didn't know it was my birthday (and you are 6 and 3 and time has little to no meaning in your world).

Love, Mom

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Dear Boomerang,

I could sit here and watch Looney Tunes all day, but I have got a million things to do. I know you are putting all the Speedy cartoons just because you know I love that danged hyperactive mouse. Stop being so manipulative.

Enthralled, Kat

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes. You all helped make it a special day. Oh, and I didn't clean a single bit on my birthday. Of course my house is paying the price now.

If you have a letter please link up!

Love Ya to Pieces!!, Kat

Birthday Plans

Since today is my birthday. No, no, hold the applause. Here are my plans:

1. Send my children far far away (school)

2. Go to Bible study.

3. Retrieve KiKi from school.

4. Sit on my butt and do NOTHING.

5. Confuse nothing with cleaning.

6. Ponder dinner situation.

7. Decide on something easy.

8. Cook dinner.

9. Sit on my butt and do NOTHING. Once again confuse it with cleaning; do washing up from dinner.

10. Struggle getting my kids through their bedtime routine.

11. Talk to hubby via Skype.

Yep, it is pretty much just any other Wednesday.

Dear So and So...I'm Done, Winter!

Dear Winter,

Let's get something straight, this whole sticking around forever raining, snowing and sleeting at my house has got to stop. Seriously it isn't even funny anymore, just cold and icky. Go away!

For The Love of All that is Good!!, Kat
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Dear LaLa,

This cracked me up.

Thanks For The Warning, Mom

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Dear Readers,

Please add your letters so I can read over them. I love Dear So and So... letters. They are fun, aren't they?

Love, Kat

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Why I Am a Horrible Blogger

With all the posts lately that I have seen around about what constitutes a good post or how to be a better blogger, I felt really inadequate. I mean, how can I live up to all these expectations? Here are all the reasons I am a horrible blogger.

1). I sometimes have rambling long paragraphs. I can't help it. I write posts in my head and then they just flow out of the finger tips.

2. Half the time I don't proofread. Granted, my posts don't have horrid spelling mistakes generally. I do however sometimes reread over a post after I have published it and find mistakes. Then I usually go back into the editor and fix it.

3. I don't us an RSS reader. Shock and horror I know!! Here is my take on RSS readers; if I had one I would feel obligated to read Every. Single. Post. in it and frankly I have neither the time or energy.

4. I hate self promotion. I tweet my posts once, maybe twice (three times if I have a wild hair up my butt).

5. I don't pay attention to my blog stats. I have no idea what they actually mean. I have a Google Analytics account an absolutely no idea how to use it.

6. I write posts in about 20-30 min. I usually only reread through them once or twice before I post. Usually just to make sure they make sense.

7. If I don't publish by 10am my time, that means I can't be arsed to write that day.

8. I covet comments. Seriously crave them. Can't get enough comments. I know you're not supposed to care about how many comments you get, and really I don't care about the number. I just want to know what other people think.

9. I don't comment on everyones blog that I read. Sometimes I will tweet them a message instead or I will talk to them later that day. Sometimes though, I am just lazy.

10. I can't be bothered to get my knickers in a twist about every little controversy in the mommy blogosphere. In other words; I don't care if you breast feed, bottle feed, home school, regular school, wear your baby, let them cry it out, ferberize, attachment parent. I don't care. I don't have the mental energy for it. I barely have enough time to put out all the little fires around here, let alone address all the issues in the mommy blogosphere.

Yep, that pretty much sums up why I am a completely crap blogger. I don't conform to what people think is "good". Then again, why should I?

Also, I compose most of my posts in my head in the shower. What? It is the only place I get a quiet moment to myself to think.

When In Rome

When the military gave my husband the assignment to the UK, I was absolutely thrilled. It was a chance to change our life and live outside our comfort zones, experience another culture and give our kids the experience of living abroad on the governments dime. Unfortunately I didn't realize there isn't a manual for moving oversea provided by the government. Basically, they buy the airline tickets, take care of your visas and passports, provide you lodging until you can sort out your housing situation, tell you some interesting places to visit and send you on your way. Helpful, but it all leaves you with your head spinning, feeling like you have landed on an alien planet with no sense of direction.

Last year, my first experiences with English customs were interesting to say the least. On Pancake Day last year I thought LaLa was yanking my chain when she told me she needed to bring a pancake and a frying pan to school (about 15 minutes before we were due to leave for school). What the heck does she need a pancake for? Pancake races, that's what! Of course she also ended up with an American pancake as opposed to what is considered a pancake here. I call the type of pancakes they make here crepes. Live and learn.

I though after that experience that my learning of English traditions was down pat. So wrong. I forgot to let LaLa wear her princess dress to school on St. George's day. Prompting me to run home and find it and bring it back up to the school, with my daughter in tears. The piece de resistance though was when we were required to make an Easter bonnet. I really didn't know how seriously some of the parents at my daughter's school took their Easter bonnets. LaLa ended up at school with a gaudily decorated paper plate on her head. It was ridiculous. Thankfully as a backup I had thought to bring a cute pink, blue and yellow spring hat. However that did not manage to make me feel like any less of a failure when it came to the customs of my host country.

This year though, I am prepared. Yesterday was Pancake Day. This gives me roughly 40 days to come up with an Easter bonnet. When in Rome (or England) do what the natives do, buy a bonnet pattern on eBay.

RTT- Pancake Day

It's Pancake Day. Also, RTT! Can things seriously get any better??? When you're done here click the button and tell Keely thanks for RTT.



What's Pancake Day you ask?? Pancake Day or Shrove Tuesday is the day before Ash Wednesday in in Anglican tradition. Many Pancakes are consumed and pancake races are abound. But my kids are out of school this year for half term break, so no pancake races. Basically, the day before Lent. Oh and for Lent I am giving up sex. *snort* Oh wait, I already did that.

The bad thing about cooking curry at home is that your house still smells like curry the day afterwards. It was sooo good though. My kids of course had hotdogs. Not curried hotdogs, that's gross. They also ate the pilau rice, puppodums, and naan bread. I couldn't convince them to eat the samosas, but I was still impressed.

I have so much cleaning to do today. Also, I need to go shopping for a few things. It will be interesting to see what actually gets accomplished.

My kids as I mentioned are on half term break. Send booze. But, Kat, you say, "Even if I send booze now, it won't get there before the end of half term break." Ah, yes, you're correct. But in April my kids are out of school for NINETEEN DAYS for term break.

On Sunday I spent the day with NFAH and her sister (who is in visiting from China). Other than LaLa acting a fool at the pub it was a great time. Seriously wanted to take LaLa home before the food arrived though. My kids got NFAH and her sister each a box of chocolates for Valentines day. It was sweet (until I heard that her sister was allergic to dairy...and then in my head I was all HOLY SHIT MY KIDS ARE TRYING TO KILL HER!!)

These are the things that run through my head people....

One of the Best Things About Living in the UK?

The television adverts of course!!

Oh Really?

LaLa-"Mom, I put your birthday on my calendar."
Me- "Really? What day is my birthday?"
LaLa- "The 24th. I also wrote your name."
Me- What name did you write?"
LaLa- "I put Mom."
Me- "How do you spell that?"
LaLa- "M-U-M"

Dear So and So...I Am Thankful

Dear February,

You have been so good to me compared to January. I have yet to have a power cut, snow day or day of general bad luck. Keep up the good work.

So Glad Murphy is On Vacation, Kat
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Dear John (no really that's his name),

Thanks for cooking me dinner last night. It was scrummy. I am so glad that I am friends with you and your wife.

(((BIG HUGS))), Kat
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Dear Bacon,

I love you more than Valentine's Day.

Smelling that Bacony Goodness, Kat
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Dear Captain Dumbass & SL,

That trade option is still on the table. I am sure C would love it here,

LOLOL, Kat
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Dear Moles in My Back Garden,

Vacate the premises. I have been told to contact the "mole man" about your eradication, it would be much easier for you and cheaper for me if you would just go.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Kat
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Dear Readers ,

Please add your own Dear So and So... with Mr Linky. Have a wonderful weekend!!

Love, Kat
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MMMMMM BACON!!!

RTT- Ballroom Blitz

Don't mind the title, I just have that song stuck in my head. It is Tuesday after all. Time for some random bits and bobs from my head! Aren't you excited? Now, please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle, those who are pregnant or have heart conditions should speak to their GP before participating, small children are prohibited from participating and I hope you brought your Dramamine because apparently my mind can induce motion sickness. Oh, and thank the hostess with the mostess, Keely, for this lovely day of random by clicking the purple button. And here we go.....




Clean, mess, clean, mess, clean, clean, mess, mess, mess. Do you know what I am talking about??

Sam Kitty has become my alarm clock. Every morning at half seven he comes into my bedroom, pushes his nose against my eyeball and purrs loudly. Well good morning to you too, Sam.

KiKi's new cartoon obsession is Tom and Jerry. Hooray for old school cartoons that would never pass muster today. TNT, guns, slapping, hitting, food fights, nope, it would never see the light of day now.

I need to go buy a new duvet, but I can't be arsed. Making due with multiple blankets and a 6 year old who sleeps with her feet wedged in my back.

Trying to explain to most Brits where I live (other than Brits from this area) is almost impossible...do you know where such and such town is? No. How bout here? No. What about here? Well, I've heard of that place...but no...*head desk* The joys of living in the middle of nowhere.

Potentially involved in big photography project (no, I am not the photographer). Stay tuned.

By the time the World Cup rolls around I will be a footy (soccer for all you Yanks..LOL) expert. I have been watching it a lot lately. I need to pick a team to support. Any suggestions? PS-I am pretty much sure that the media here in England is sabotaging the national teams chances. Every other day one of the members of the squad makes the front page for private matters.

KiKi is re-potty trained in case any of you were wondering. It is lovely.

It has gotten to the point where I am so used to using British sayings that I have a hard time thinking of American ones. I am being assimilated into the collective. Good thing? Bad thing? Or as Ivana Trump would say "It is what it is" (you can thank Celebrity Big Brother for that...)

Dear So and So...You're Gonna Be the Death of Me

Dear LaLa,

You know when you asked "Is my butt going to get big?" and I kinda didn't respond? That wasn't a cue for you to say "Cause your butt got bigger." While I know you were talking about my adult sized butt, yeah, if you want to make it to your next birthday, just don't.

Love, Mom
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Dear Ruffles Potato Chips and French Onion Dip,

You are banned from my house now. If you want an explanation, see the letter above.

My ass is big enough thank you, Kat
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Dear gym,

*mumble* I guess I should visit you more often *mumble*, but I hate you.

Semi-ready to get her butt in shape, Kat
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Dear May, June, July, August,

I swear I will never complain about the hot again. Pinky swear. To borrow a line from my favorite columnist at my hometown newspaper, at least you don't have to shovel the heat.

Still Freezin, Kat
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Dear Facebook Friends,

Learn the difference between your/ you're, and there, their and they're. If you don't, I will unfriend you. This is your warning.

You're Driving Me Nuts, Kat
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Dear Readers,

Please remember to link up if you have a letter! Have a super weekend. See ya next week.

Love ya, Kat
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Because I am a Naughty Mommy...

This morning LaLa announced "Mom (which is coming out more and more like Mum) we are learning about aliens at school now!"
And because I am a naughty mom and couldn't help myself I said "Illegal or space?"

She just gave me a really confused look.

RTT- Weekend and Other Awesome

I'm back!! Don't send out the search party. I have a lot of random up in my brain, so hold onto your hats, kiddos. You can thank Keely for this later by clicking that pretty purple button.



First of all let me say that NFAH is the best "Auntie" ever to my kids. I am not going to disclose the reason, but lets just say, she is completely awesome.

On Friday, Michelloui, NFAH and I had a meet up. I brought the girls as well. We had dinner at Pizza Express and a great conversation. Michelloui completely saved the day with LaLa. When you say cheese pizza LaLa expects the entire pizza to be covered with cheese, not dotted with specks of Mozzarella. Michelloui took the cheese off some pieces and put them all on a few pieces to make an acceptable cheese pizza for La. LaLa also did some experiments with refracting light with her knife that made us laugh. During the meet up we also discovered that we all collect novelty tourist refrigerator magnets from the places we have visited. I had such a good time with these ladies and we are definitely going to have to do it again soon!

Does anyone know how to explain the difference between a "c" sound and a "k" sound to a 6 year old? I'm at a loss. Also, why does every single word this child want to spell have a silent "e" at the end?

On Sat I spent the morning helping out a friend in need. Car trouble, husband where my husband is, fun stuff. Lucky for her it was just the battery!

Also, Saturday was Jay's Birthday. I called her and had one of the most epic phone conversations ever! We are planning a meet up soon. Stay tuned!

On Sunday I woke up with a Big Mac craving. Now, this NEVER happens. I don't LOVE McDonald's. I don't hate it either. I just usually don't crave Big Macs. It was also one of those cravings that wasn't going to go away. So, I loaded up the girls into the car and drove 30 min to the nearest McDonald's. You would have thought LaLa had won the lottery she was so excited. Of course she reminded me to make sure there was no ketchup (if you don't know the ketchup story click here)on her cheeseburger.

Yesterday was The Mans day off. We spent most of the day online talking. It was absolutely fabulous. I miss that shit head.