No Life To Waste

I'm so glad to have left my previous workplace. It is such a tiring job because I always have to rework & hey! it has nothing to do with improvements but rather because some people cannot make up their stupid minds and work done needs to be remodified again & again when we can get things done the first time. We are always back to square one because some elderly thinks square two is better and the headless chicken chose to listen to the elderly who bs. In the end, square two is carried out and more money is spent on getting back to square one. Hey headless chicken!! You are where you are because of the bs elder!! You are the first that I have nothing good to say about. And bloody hell.. You have just wasted a lot of money and my time and most importantly my life. You think that I am satisfied because I'm paid for the time I spent at work?! You think you are worth $100 an hour? Hey numbskull, I'm paid much lesser than that!! Your life is not more important than mine. Since you cannot understand this simple truth then there is no point that I hang around any longer.. It is as though the heavens hear my woes & decided to help me out.. Thank God for the invitation to get out - anywhere is better than here - that is how bad I think it is. More will go.. More will.. For their own good because you do not know how to value people - their lives. You are not worth it. You are really not worth people's time. You are a sad person because you waste people's lives to get your popularity. F u.

New Sponsorship

I sponsored a child from Zambia on 28 September 2011. My 2nd girl.

I made a promise to myself that when I am promoted this July, I will bless another kid.

May God bless her to be a happy child.

Given the best, give my best.

Today, I signed up for a child sponsorship through World Vision. I will be sponsoring a child from Thailand. Paper works need to be completed before the first donation is deducted from my bank account. This is exciting for me as I have always wanted to contribute where it matters. Especially to children.

I do not know who this child is yet but I will make sure I do not only contribute financially but also in prayers that she will be blessed, just as I have been blessed.

I hope that she will be given a chance in life. I hope that she will be able to have a good education such that she has an opportunity to give to others when she grows up. I also hope that she will come to know God and bring about His blessings to her community.

I am a very fortunate and blessed child. Perhaps if I were to compare myself to some others, I may not have received the best material items money can buy but I have receive enough to make me into who I am today. I am very glad that I am not someone else.

I am who I am today not because I deserve it. I have a great pair of parents, though uneducated but responsible. I pray that they will come to know God. They may not know how to plan my path, but God has been the author of my life even before I knew Him.

• Went to a really good Primary school - Kellock Convent
• Was in the best class in Upper Primary - Jade
• I had the best teacher to prepare me for my PSLE - Miss Seow
• Went to a good Secondary School - IJTP
• Had been mentored by the best leaders in church
• Had the best tutor for O'Levels - God
• Got a degree paid by my aunt
• Got a good temporary job after my graduation - Mapletree Investments
• Got a good that fits my makeup - Ops exec
• Got hired into the best clinic - Jur
• Got the best bosses - Smeena, Jhow, Jac, Angel, Sim
• Got transferred as wished - TPY
• Got a new boss that is very much like me - Azile

I have gotten the best wherever I am placed. The best teachers, the best bosses, the best colleagues, the best opportunities - all these, I did not earned nor deserved.. but because of all these, I am successful in life. I do not want to just soak in these goodness, I want people to share in these blessings. I want to once again contribute back to those who are in need.

I need stop feeling that I am losing out and start to give.

Got money, no talk.

I realized all along that I am not cut out for sales. Today I come to understand why.

It is not that I cannot convince. I am quite an influencer/manipulator.

I promote things that I believe in.

However, if at any point, I stand to have direct monetary gain from my suggestion, I will not do it.

Galatians Five

Take your stand so that no one can enslave you again since Christ has given you freedom. We give approval to any (non-physical) enslavement in our lives.

(Galatians 5:2-4. MSG) The moment any one of you submits to circumcision or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ's hard-won gift of freedom is squandered. I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life of the law. I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you call out of grace.

God doesn't care whether I care about being religious; following a set of rules. But if I don't show love with faith, I will kena from God.

I am quite feeling-less at times. I don't think I need to feel, to offer help. I see the need, I provide the help. Of course, it is always good to empathize with people, but I don't do it all the time. So what's wrong with that? Some people feel with you but gives bullshit help.

Some people that I will not try too hard to help

• Those who think that they can rough it out on their own ("Good. You need help then ask.")
• Those whom I have advised but it falls on deaf ears (I hate to tell you "I told you so.")
• Those who are stubborn ("Saying it once is enough. No point repeating.")
• Strangers. Those people whom I do not know.

You can't ignore what distracts you from your Christian race. Ignoring it is like ignoring that there is a hole in your pants and allowing the tear to enlarge. God will not distract us from running the race. Anyone that causes you to walk away from Christ will not be ignored by God.

(Galatians 5:12) Why don't these agitators, obsessive as they are about circumcision, go all the way and castrate themselves.

Funny to the max! The author is so pissed off.

What are some rules in our lives that we are so hard up about which don't actually matter. Sometimes, we are so particular about certain preference which makes no change to anyone's lives. We got to rethink why we put efforts in areas that don't matter.

God's perspective of freedom

Our freedom can destroy freedom.

Freedom grows are we serve one another in love.

Act of true freedom - Love others as you love yourself.

- What does these mean? (At the point of reading verses 13-14, I have no idea what Paul is trying to say. Then I realized the explanation can be found in verse 15. I did not come up with the answers myself.)

Our freedom can cause us to choose to do unwise things that make us enemies which can remove the freedom we have OR cause us to be locked us in jail, literally removing the freedom.

Freedom grows as we make more friends than enemy. I can make more friends when I take care of others as I would meet my own needs. If I care about others as much as I care about myself, I will be a very loving person.

(Galatians 5:16-18) My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

(Galatians 5:19-21. NIV = MSG)

Sexual immorality = Repetitive, loveless, cheap sex

Impurity = A stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage

Debauchery = Frenzied and joyless grab of happiness

Idolatry and witchcraft = trinket gods, magic show religion

Hatred = An impotence to love or be loved

Discord= Divided homes and divided lives

Jealousy = Cutthroat competition

Fits of rage = A brutal temper

Selfish ambition = Small-minded and lopsided pursuits

Dissensions = The vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival

Factions = Paranoid lonliness

Envy = All-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants

Drunkenness = Uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions

Orgies = Ugly parodies of community

I think that people (me) should choose to live a life not because of being threatened but rather because I want to enjoy the best that God has for me.

(Galatians 5:26 NIV & MSG) Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

That means that we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

Your Moment in History

Many biblical characters in the bible has done extraordinary things in their lives. We usually can attribute them with at least one great attempt of faith. I believe there is one thing they have in common - they are ready to step into the unknown courageously.

These people did not prepare only when they were assigned the tasks. Preparation with God, yes. But I'm not talking about seeking the Lord but having the relevant skills, the character, the maturity, the faith level, the knowledge of God & His word.. required for the tasks. These people had what it takes to do the job. Do you have what it takes for your moment in history?

These great men and great women of God were preparing all their lives for their one moment in history. They have been disciplining their flesh, studying God's word, strengthening their strengths & weakening their weaknesses. so that when God calls, they're ready. Whatever it may be.

David fought bears and lions, then he was asked to fight Goliath.Esther, had a year of disciplined beauty treatment, and she was selected Queen whom saved the Jews.Saul was fervor in His persecution of Christians, he later planted the more churches than all the disciples did together.

God doesn't play punk with Himself. He does not get us to do things that we are unable to do. Which means, if you do not have the ability to do big things, you will do smaller things. Of course, serving God is not about doing glorious big things, but if God has given you the ability to do greater things, why settle for just great things. That is not being faithful.

Don't know how much you can handle? Let God decide for you, you just give your best everytime.

Seek God As A Maturing Christian

As we grow in our Christian age, we ought to mature in how, what, why, when & where we seek God.When we mature in seeking God, we will mature as Christians; more like someone who follows Christ.

How: Do you always go to God whining like a kid? Can you talk to God like an adult? The methods we use to seek God need not be simply just reading the bible. We can seek God by being in the nature, reading a favorite book, or simply enjoying the quietness that God provides.

What: Do we mature in what we ask God for? Are we still asking God for things as though we are a new believer, having minimal understanding of the Word of God?

Why: How are we coming to God in prayers? Why do we pray? Do we speak to God with understanding of who God is?

When: Do we restrict ourselves to talking to God at only certain times of the day? Do we shut Him out at other times?

Where: Of course, there are always better places that we can seek God in, but God is everywhere. Why restrict yourself in seeking God only in certain places.Are we able to only talk to God in certain circumstances; care group time, during Sunday worship?

Simply Self Serving

I will share about a recent incident where I was self-centered and hope that you, who is reading this, will consider if you can be more gracious in your dealings with others. Do to others what you want others to do to you.

I woke up this morning feeling bloated. I should be more discipline to rest enough. After showering, while I put on my makeup, the scenes of yesterday's happenings were played in my head like a home video. And then I was suddenly struck with embarrassment - I realized that I did not do as I had preached, I have probably embarrassed someone just to get what I want. I was overwhelmed with guilt when I thought how destructive my actions can be. This is what I mean when I say, I got what I wanted but I did not feel happy about it t all. I said a prayer for her.

***

Let's call her Felicia. The first time I met Felicia, she did my facial. The only thing I remembered about her was her rudeness. She was banging things against the sink, bumping onto the bed I was resting on whenever she walked, did everything in a hurried manner, even my facial. The experience was so bad that I cried during the facial. I left the salon very pissed.

The second time I encountered her again, I did not recognized her but I thought she looked familiar. The therapists were all masked up, you see. However, the moment she walked into the room, banging and walking into things, I was almost certain it was the dreadful therapist. Her identity was confirmed the moment she removed my makeup. Urgh. I left the facial pissed, again. I did not pay a few hundred per session to feel lousy. I swear that she will not do my facial again.

Yesterday, I called for an evening appointment. I planned to speak to my main therapist, Jamie, about not wanting Felicia to do my facial, however the receptionist replied that she was busy. I decided that I need to inform someone of my request before it is too late, so I told the receptionist. She also informed me to tell Jamie my request in person.

When I arrived for my appointment, I saw a note next to my appointment in their calendar, "不要上次那一个人", I was happy that they got my message. As I entered the room, I once again reminded another receptionist that I do not wish to have Felicia to do my facial if possible. I didn't feel so good though. Heart feels heavy. What's wrong?

Jamie came to look for me before facial began to find out what happened. I told her about my encounters with Felicia and assured her that I know Felicia did not mean bad. She was concerned about my feedback and took it seriously because she find me to be a good and reasonable customer and negative feedbacks from me was probably sound. She assured me that she has spoken to Felicia and explained what might had happened, and then allocated another therapist to do my facial.

***

There is no need to broadcast to people who are unable to help Felicia about how negative I felt about her service. I was more concerned about getting a good facial (which I had but I felt lousy still) than her being gossiped by her colleagues. I really wonder what my actions could have caused her to feel and cause others to feel about her.

It's true that her actions will speak louder than my words. That is her concern.

My problem... Why do I have to do it this way? Feedback for improvement is good but why did I have to present it in such a manner? Why can't I be more patient and wait for the right opportunity to speak to the person that can help Felicia? This revealed that I am more concern about making her pay, than helping her improve.

How do you know if you are being manipulated?

How do you know if you are manipulating?

How do you get out of manipulation?

This will be tomorrow's homework :)