Another sleepless night.Reminiscing.Listening to old love songs and they remind me of what I used to believe in.
Everything always seems beautiful till you discover the ugly truth/reality.
The past one year is like a roller coaster ride.An extreme breakdown.It's still like a blurry nightmare moment of my life now.I've recovered but scarred.The aftermath fears are like scars that kept reminding me not to repeat the same mistake.Scars fade, someday, I believe.
People often ask me for relationship advices and I can always provide wise answers.However, what people might not know is, I need to experiment the pain to get those answers.I'm always facing challenges on this love path.Neverending learning.
All I want is, a simple relationship.I do not need a dramatic relationship.My life is already a drama.The simplest wish is always the hardest to fulfill.
After all these struggles, now, I've learnt to appreciate the single's peace.I do not have to be affected by anybody's emotions.
Single for life? Looks like a not-that-bad idea now.I'm still young, shall see.(:
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It's December.2012 is coming to an end.I still love 2012 despite there are downs.Got an ink on 12.12.12.Luctor et emergo.
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Previously,I still couldn't bear to end this friendship.Now,I'm more than willing and happy about it.Seriously,I was quite dumbfounded at how evil a person can be.Anyway,a lesson learnt.Thanks,I've become a better person again.
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I used to get all "Yes" from you.But all I get now is "Nope".I dont deny,I still hope to be doted.But I know it's a very selfish thinking.I know I have said plenty of "End" with you.But never once lasted long enough.Though the latest one lasted quite some time till I needed your help.How can I expect you to be always there to reprimand me for not taking care of myself? How can I expect you to be always there to cheer me up when I'm down? How can I be so ridiculous when all I want from you is just "Best Friends Forever"? I gave up because I know we will never be together and I do not want to cling onto a hopeless status.In your eyes,we are too different and we have plenty of obstacles.I admit,this hidden relationship did put us in difficult positions.I wonder if my previous harsh words did hurt you and really caused the change.I knew you were somehow still trying, or probably you just dont want us to be over.But I am at my firm state and all I do is to friendzone.However,now,you are not friendzoning me,instead,you are just avoiding me.Probably I'm just being too sensitive,but I think I know you quite well enough.I hope you friendzone me just like how I friendzone you.At least we can still be friends.I really hope that things never happened between us.Because I know,we can really be good friends afterall.But now,time to face it,our friendship can never be pure.This friendship is impossible to last due to all the things that we had been through.Naive of me to really think that we can put aside all and start afresh as friends again.Time to grow up.All the best to you and thanks for the sweet moments.再捨不得也得放弃.
終於發現這一切
沒有你什么感覺都沒有
現在的你
跑到哪一邊
離開這個小房間
獨自一個人走遠點
想念
找不到你
找不到自己
什么時候你才了解
我的心一直在你那邊
我捨不得
這樣就看不見
我好想念從前
不要一個人獨自的埋怨
我捨不得
希望很快就會回到從前
我不希望這一切是昨天
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Change is the only constant and I understand that.But...why do I still feel like giving up?
If it was a good change,I would be so happy for you.However,this bad change got me speechless as I can no longer explain your actions.I actually feel the need of re-knowing you.What caused the change? Environment? Peers?
I'm afraid that I might just give up.Because...I really hate people telling me that you changed and asking me about your actions.Will my tears bring the old you back?
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