...

we come across so few people in our lives that truly understand us. someone who really gets you, who knows what irritates you, makes you smile, makes you angry, happy, sad, frustrated etc... and we are so grateful to have someone understand us so well but there are also times i think it's against you. so much'easier' to push your buttons

when everyone is giving you the same advice, they must be right? so why aren't you listening? how much longer do you wanna feel like you don't belong. open your eyes, look around you, there's so much more you deserve. you wait and wait and you plan your day around it.. all for?

he won't be able to consider your feelings so long as he has his to take care of. .fact. .accept it.

perhaps i am clouded by lack of sleep. i am blaberring because the day is dark and gloomy. my body is shutting down and i have a long long night ahead. moments like these are occuring more and more...

post-dreamland depression

i was walking on air, floating on a cloud, almost as if i had a break from life, from reality. i was allowed the 'many' hours of bliss. to believe in fantasy. what i had so many nights dreamt of came true.. i clung onto those moments for dear life but... all good things come to an end. you have to let go. reality catches on and no matter how much you try, it'll swallow you.. into its depths of loneliness.

such is the situation you have put yourself in...

Pressure

So tired. I'm so tired. Life is so different nowadays and I'm finding it so much harder to adapt. I have so little time and so much to do. So many things to juggle. Sometimes I wish you understood and allowed me the space and time to be me. To be there for me. I try so hard to take ur feelings into consideration but at times, when I'm all spent, I can't. Feel so pressured. Where to look to I'm not sure...

So tired. So frustrated. Give me something to lean on cause I'm running on reserve.

Now..

There's a cat staring at me and I'm staring back at her. How fierce those eyes are... Too tired to fight with it tonight so I let it stare. I wonder what goes through it's mind as she's staring.. What is this human life..

Chance

What you did meant nothing. It's obvious. But it doesn't mean you don't matter. I think she was trying to make me feel better but when the table was turned, she understood. It's way too hard to understand what it truly feels like till you are the one experiencing it. What she said is true. How can i fault it but everything has a reason. It's what happens when u constantly seek security. Until u realize u r seeking it at the wrong place. Don't look. It might come. If it doesn't..such is life. So tired. Don't wanna look anymore. No expectations. No disappointments.