Monday, July 30, 2007

> 女の子: 私はurの心を交差させるか。> 男の子: いいえ> 女の子: 好む私をか。> 男の子: 実際に> 女の子: 私がほしいと思うか。> 男の子: いいえ> 女の子: 私が去ったら叫ぶか。> 男の子: いいえ> 女の子: 私のために住んでいるか。> 男の子: いいえ> 女の子: 私のための何でもするか。> 男の子: いいえ> 女の子: 選びなさい--私またはurの生命> 男の子: 私の生命>> 女の子は衝撃および苦痛の>で走る; そして男の子は彼女のおよび>の後で走る; 言う…> あなたが決して私の心を交差させない理由は>である; 私の心に常にあるので。>> 私がなぜ好まないか理由は>である; 私が愛するので。>> 私はほしいと思わない理由はのである> 私は必要とする。>> 理由私は>を残したら叫ばない; 去れば私が死ぬのである。>> 私があなたのために住んでいない理由は>である; 私があなたのために死ぬので。>> 私が>をして喜んでなぜではないか理由; 私が>のであなたのための何でもある; あなたのためのすべてをしなさい。>> 私が私の生命を選んだ理由はので>ある; 私の生命である。

your love is like a shadow at 8:04 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

私は今日恋に落ちる。彼女はそこに常にあったが、それは今日それから私調べただった。私は彼女の流木である。彼女が疲れているとき、彼女は私で休んでもいい。しかし私は彼女を下ろしておく鎖ではない。彼女はカモメのように上昇する。彼女のベストに。彼女が幸せである時。私は幸せである。

ok...

its kinda nice. i translated it into jap for fun.

your love is like a shadow at 6:46 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I don know,

but this feeling is comin to me now

i wont see her tml i guess

or maybe next week or maybe anytime

i just realise when i am near her

i feel relax.

maybe something is happening

but i just wish i could mug now

maybe i can be alone

sigh

randoming

everything in a mess i guess

my class like not my class.

i get suan more from my class then other class

am i tat bad in that class?

like Evan in 1A04, maybe each class must got someone to be suaned

Lol maybe its just me

next term i keep my mouth shut

see got difference anot

but i guess i feel so much better with , Renjun, Brain, 1A04 guys(maybe)
my class is ok, but i feel so lonely in there.
BRIAN IS WAY too funny, haha i think hes a dam nice guy sia, like he can be friends with others so easy sia,

mabe i am not making attept to be nice
but wtf man, if i wasnt, i would hit someone in class already
sigh shit emo head.

at least BRIAN the best.
hes like haha.
Then Renjun also dam helpful
Vincent and Max good at subject to help me
balh blah

OK..

Girl just online
i miss her.
kinda like shes the only few good things in secondary sch
shoulder... hands
someone who i can talk to

i don think i can talk to anyone in my class
everyone has thier life of their own...
i don.

sheesh shes like so busy in NYJC
i hope she is ok
seriousy i hope jc friends are coping well

who ever who read.

thx

your love is like a shadow at 8:39 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Kinda stone now

like nothings worth remembering everyday.

maybe because it feels so much like secondary

everythings the same, so same

beside the cast, its like the same

sigh i kinda realise someone like me

would always belong to the 'not there, whos know' part

but oh well

i am already used to this...

theres so much in me, i wanna say

yet wad i say no one would wanna care

but i guess

at least i still know she doesnt think of me this way

at least i hope.

no matter wad

my class now is so like my class b4

this time worse

theres no wu chong, no wei ping, no hai hong, no rykiel, no constance

theres just ppl who have the winner and gel tgt easy life

theres brain grp, where they go well with 1A05 habbid and so
Theres Vincent grp, rey, so on, sometimes chris
Theres the girls, maybe
there is renjun, he has his secondary sch friend
there is jevon, a wide social network
zension, bigger friends network

maybe
i am just that kinda shld always stay in the shadow
sigh
so hope i can get to know all of them
doc told me to think positive and smile
lol smile laugh are so easy
sigh i wanna like hang out
and chill

Maybe i am just insecure.
i cant feel
somehow i feel so much better if ppl pour their feelings to me
but shit i aint giving a good impression
just a attention seeking brat

somehow i wish i could just let the ground swallow me
i aint much
but at least i could be some tree fertilizer.

no one truely cares if i died

but if i died
would i know?

its a secret that i hold to myself forever

your love is like a shadow at 8:02 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I know i am lame

end of blog

your love is like a shadow at 9:12 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

nothing much to say

yet feel so much to say something

but no one would hear the shouts

cause all are meaningless

even i think they are

i am just going home

passed by my pri sch

feel so grown up

sigh

kind of loney down alone

crowds but i bet when i need help

i would still be alone.

oh well

lifes like that

your love is like a shadow at 8:09 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Thursday, July 19, 2007

thanks whoever meant to celebrate my birthday
kinda surprsise.
i never had much celebration b4
i guess its the first time i had a shirt as a present
but i prefer the duck
cause i not gonna wear my shirt

haha i don know why

just tired

maybe i wont wake up tml

but i know i died happily

your love is like a shadow at 8:06 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Ya i decide to blog a small one..

erm ya went to sch for the com toolkit. wilson just took my slides and i think our grp got a C but redeem myself in QnA, where i just tore through the qns they ask. esp Chris. the big mouth in the end i use his friendster account as example. and he dressed in his pic with a beanie and a towel as cape aha weird man

then i went back to change and came back to do my crystal.
i am like dam cold in the bus.
miss the time when there was someone beside me who i could lean on
sigh oh well
at least i can hug my com.

then i re do my crystal..
hope i can pass it . even a 3% would be good
went to make up with Mr Yap.
tried to understand
i did a bit i guess

then had gl meeting cca
doesnt feel like it

went out with poon and chris to mac
saw them doing lame pick up lines
and jio and looking at girls
i guess thats the differece btw me and them

dudes will always be dudes
losers will stay hidden in their lies

i am one i guess

oh well went back.
read Isabel and Samanta blog,
well i aint sad, just glad
at least they remembered no mattter how late
i could still rmb a time i had no one
not even 1 who know or cares about my birthday...
ya

tml will be sam bday
i try my best to smile
though in my heart i crack
cause i can never enjoy

Ya my own loser life
i need to hunt and fight
to find my life
i donna lose anymore..

it hurts to be blocked out..
no matter how distance

your love is like a shadow at 8:09 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Monday, July 16, 2007

I wanna say

no time left
yet no conviction
sigh

kinda sad over my crystal
i spend alot of time cause its 5%
i needed every % other may don care but my ipc test result sucked
need everything
sigh ..

realli down and empty
now even i lost my rings
my charger got collected by someone

everything look like shite.
someone i think i am still lucky
i aint dead yet
i aint bankrupt
i aint injured
i aint stressed

i am just unlucky
maybe if i start to study again everything would change
ya
i would do it

17-07-07
17 years old now

sigh my birthday . kinda sad

but its better then nth

i need da save money to get samantha a present
and clement
and stella

at least i got my birthday wish

someone rmb my birthday.

alrite
its time

Praise God
- with her i gonna put a shoe through death -
- i am happy. -
- no regrets -
- gonna do this alone -

see ya

heaven take me

your love is like a shadow at 8:53 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Saturday, July 14, 2007

[c=#FF0606]'[K!tyiN™]= [/c=#202020] みじめさ uarelikethesunshine,themoonlight,thenightsky says:

u aint wad i'll call a social butterfly

[c=#FF0606]'[K!tyiN™]= [/c=#202020] みじめさ uarelikethesunshine,themoonlight,thenightsky says:

more like a wondering wasp lor

[c=#FF0606]'[K!tyiN™]= [/c=#202020] みじめさ uarelikethesunshine,themoonlight,thenightsky says:

why i say wondering wasp's coz u wonder around for ur own sake

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

ya had a private BBQ today for my sis and my birthday.
it was ok.
nth much happen

also i now call myself a wandering wasp...

so i am suppose to sacrifice myself for others sake
ya

beside then i am useless.
maybe

i am just useless

no point trying to get ppl noticed
as long as i seen her
her smile even not for me
i would be glad

your love is like a shadow at 8:45 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Friday, July 13, 2007

I realised..

___ hmm ___

was looking at my old sch photos, my secondary photos. i realised smth, try and spot me in those pic...

Well i was there, but u cant see me cause i am always the one taking the picture. realise in the past i was never a part of any class i was in, alwalys drifting and not settleing. Sometimes i hope ppl would at least rmb little about me, but come to think of it, cause its just me not them, i am very dumb.

So ya i realise i am becoming back to who i am, in class i am the here or not guy. Not realli there but there. Sometimes i feel i am so alone in this big big lecture room.

Even when people talk to me, i know they felt guarded.
I went to yishun with ben and rey.

ya compared to how they talk to each other and

me with rey after ben got off was ploarised

sigh

maybe i shld keep my mouth shut

was talking rubbish

Sigh somehow i feel this self-fufilling belief i will become my past. So many same people in my class compare to my sec sch. 1- 2 good friends. (none i guess) would run to help me ?

ahh nvm sigh

anyway today bio as wreck and screw.

then i went to eat with ren jun, then met shi pei they all

even they feel at ease. i was there

so unwelcome i felt.

turn left or right

no one i knew well

no one will pick time to talk

sigh

took my bag and headed to my hiding place.

it was windy today

i slept there and waited for time to fly.

thinking about lots of stuff.

wondered where i was wrong

i handled lots of things wrong

everything i do seems wrong

i don knwo if i was born to be wrong

i guess so

fuck man

but oh well

at least i saw her again today in the morning

i sent her to sch,

at least its why i go to sch now

friends i have, but to them i am just a tag along

alone i am, then why did i wanna go to sch

sigh

at least everyone busy with smth

i failed my ipc i realise

my thermo too

my bio

my em1

my life is messed up

now i living on borrowed money

i don know how know i can last

but i think when all is used up

i think i don wanna live anymore

i just confess and jump

sigh but my family

at least i have them

but shit i don even see them usually

all i see in my eyes are politcs,

friends with friends

who with who

wad grp wad grp, its like omg, fucking fast, i never see a real class tgt as one b4

they split like water with oil.

shit man

i like know everyone but i feel like a remora to a shark

not seen eating the scraps they have for me

sigh

so dam depress

wanna stop breathing

it hurts

sometimes

to realise i am back to square 1

no matter how hard i try

i live in a world that no one cares

no one give a dumb fuck

no one bothers

it shld be this way

the world don revolves around me

so ya shit myself for pitying myself

today is friday 13th

i feel like dying

i hope someone could save me

i don care anymore i just wanna

feel

safe

not alone

its tearing me into pieces.

heart crushed.

i realise beside my ploy sc my secondary friend i have in contact now is just 4

i realise no one would care if i kept quiet

i could disappear from existant

i wonder how long do i need to stay dead b4 ppl realise i was dead

i guess no one cares

People hanging around---

sounds and laughters---

tears and sorrows---

not mine---

not to me---

for each other they look---

i am a phase---

i am look and go---

i am whos that---

i am forgettable---

i will die like this.

no one knows how deep i could cry into

yet i wish someone know

she knows

but she does not do that

someone i wish i was never like this

should have keep my mouth shut

should have be alone

i tried i got hit back

i tried again i got bashed

i tried and tried

i am a lamer

without the lame

the so werid kind

the one talk, also cannot talk alot type

i am just nothing

~for her i will live another day~

~ cause as long i could see her smile ~

~ i would never ask for anything else ~

~ i am waitin for her ~

your love is like a shadow at 10:44 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Yesterday and today

yesterday was my birthday.
went to school as usual,
got on ipc practical as usual
full of shit and stuff, messed up stuffs
then zension yelling at me
i blur blur.

then i went for maths,
i did thermo test,

and then my birthday begin.
realise no one in class beside zension rmbed. Maybe cause no ones know each other yet? i don know
so ya bad thing about being a anti soical huh.
oh well at least my gaming friend remembered.
must tell myself to rmb who rmb my birthday

HUI MIN remembered from 1A04,
so call enemy of the friends i have in class, i don know how that happen though
and she remembered while the people in class ah well, at least i realise suddenly if everyone pop and rmb mine or smth, i would be too embarrassed.
if i mention i will know ppl like
Rey, Hope, Isabel, and more will
do the cool revoke tone
' who cares '
' so wad '
or or' happy birthday lor '
so i kept my mouth shut the whole day
so i could go out to find her later, don wanna depress my day in sch
during my bday.

but at least after evening it was better, my primary sch friend came to my house and gave me a key chain, then Constinne messed up the dates but at least she remembered. Rykiel saying she promise to rmb how many times in the end still forget.

wp, hh, gwc heck care. we don even celebrate each other bday lol.
but at least i gonna hang out with them soon this week

ya back to evening
i bought die hard 4.0 tickets for hong jin zension and clement
we messed around in the movie cause not much ppl
saw Rey and his Gf. ya
at least hes nice today

Then we ate a quick dinner at yoshi and slacked at mac
Clement bought me a cake
i never ate cakes so i wanted refuse
but sia
the 3rd person who buy cake for me
how can i not refuse
though i don realli like cream and choc
i ate it, felt funny

i met my girl at amk play ground
don know if i could call her tat
we never broke but fuck
we just drifted
myabe i am useless.
ah well
we played swings
and talked
i laughed
and said goodbye
and sent her home

ya we then went back home.
Had a party at home
Mah jong kakis from my neighbour hood came
we played and fooled around
my IAC group work ppl force me do script till next day midnight
and i played till morning
got bit drunk but moved on

11 july was nth much
but at least i know that girl is call olinda, i think i like her, shes like that kinda motherly figure, very strict but funnie or smth, maybe its just me, ( isit like that )?
her grp with alvin dam funny onli her didnt pon IAC and the teacher say her group palagrise or smth
got 0
feel dam sorry
and me and seashell bombed the audience during IS haha we doing some shit talk
i never even see the paper or script teache still say dam good.
lol

then i went to do crystal making, met up and knew 2 more friends, reachell and someone i don know how realli to spell thier name but its something like that. well i helped chris and mark to do their crystal and the 2 girls
i doing the solo work again

realise the TSO mohar is a dam nice guy like eric
i feel like that are actually very nice ppl
just that they are sometime lonely doing all the lab stuff
must talk to them
they will always give u advice sia
haha

then Hui min grp or smth come in
greeted me and i gave them crystal
someone sabo their crystal
oh well

then i rush to the canteen 1 underpassage
Raine wasnt there to book place
so we had to wait for ppl to move
we had Dota final
ya
got 1 team trashed the other
while me clement and zension playing game lol

we celebrate awhile and i rushed home

i feel tired
not physcially but within
sometimes i wish i know how i could be as
funny as chris woo, he is realli that shuai, wear the shirt very zai, kinda wish i gymed too
as cool as rey totally, onli he could pull the jokes off like that
as brotherly? or nice? i don know as vincent, hes kinda ah, at least his like...
as smart as max no need argue, his good
as hardworking as ren jun
as unquie as jevon, he don come sch, result can win me in few folds...
as popular as ben, so white and chubby and a bubbly personality, of course la lol
as socialable as zension ah nth said, gamers aglore

maybe i am just a below average guy

i am everything and none
sigh

i shld be

As quiet as ~Vintage IcE~

ya..

realise no one reads it but
i realli like someone now
i hope i can see her tml or soon
haha

she doesnt know
i still wanna be there for her

your love is like a shadow at 7:19 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Monday, July 9, 2007

__ I had onli myself to blame __

been sometime i updated my blog,
since not much ppl read, i would crap
Sigh the last week was torrid horrid morbid.
i saw a cat got knock off by a car.
it was sick, i took a step back and vomited.

then on week ends i did nothing
slacked.

monday in sch was no different.
emptyness, sudden loneliness in the crowds
feel so cramped
Isabel remind me lots of time i shouldnt open my mouth
i shouldnt from now on then
Elieen remind me lots of time i should open my mouth
having myself shared to someone.
thx

then after the maths, everyone had stuff to do
left me alone once again. maybe its just me thinking too much, everyone have their life i guess
so i ended up going and hanging out with mark, alvin joel and nazari
they aint so bad
showed them my favorite hiding space
we slacked and talked
ya and i messed up my ipc crystal growing
had a nervous breakdown, drank 4 packet of milk and 6 sticks of japanese chicken bbq satay
sigh

sometimes i wonder if i realli was there.
dam glad no one commented on my hair,
my uncle used me as test.
and god dam isabel must say until dam bad
but i guess its bad.
even the dye cant be seen
sigh

Walked back home, saw old schl mate, with her bf.
so i siam, but looked from far.
She seems happier now.
could remember that time she poured to me her troubles
how different she is now.
i guess everyone change when they met their love of their life.

tml have thermodynamic test, no mood to read
discouraged, tattered, broken
yet i smiled and smiled
i don wan anyone to see how mess up my life is.

and fuck the world
and thx my family.

sometimes, i think i am important.
to my family ^^

sometimes i wish i was never borned.

---------------------------------

lonely, like my shadows.
people, all around me.
noise, they all made.
smiles, they all had.
joys, they all shared.
pity, all i wallowed
hate, not them but me
love, to be with them but not
try, but never succeed
fail, to be unnotice
shut up, which i cant do

Shadows they shall be, Lonely
All around me they should, People
Made for themselves, Noise
Had for themselves, Smiles
Shared for themselves, Joys.
Shallnt sink in it, Pity
No one i should do, Hate
To have wad i have, Love
Be happy with wad i have now, try
but always its not wad it seems, fail
Be someone esle, shut up

i don deserve to speak.
i don have the right to ask for money
(come to think of it, sigh i will never get my moeny from jie ying. Never known myself to get money from girls. just gave away my money i guess)

i don have the right to be seen

- because of you, i will fight the wave of depression -

cause i still look from far at you
Even though we may still be together,
but its enough to see you just smile
even for me
at least i could see you. But you are floating away

Life of a depressing Vintage Ice.

Live Earth
Die Ice
Leave Me
Help Earth
Save me
pls save me.

i cant survive on broken fantasy and blurred reality.

your love is like a shadow at 8:20 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Thursday, July 5, 2007

http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/470615

a little test, for the harder one u can try ask me at email...

haha

___ Thursday ___

Ok i had maths tutorial in the morning followed by ipc
will kinda hard to catch wad he is teaching now
need help for ipc
ya haha called isabel [ he ling zi ]
she still don know wad it means
luckily
or she will
maul me and zension and leave us
to vultures for snacks

i decided to pon first hour of thermo
played dota
train for the later competition
got our ass kicked, maybe
we were winning during the game

and we had no team work
u shld see zension face
sour sour surely PH 0
haha
but we stayed back to help hong ji the organizer to judge on the players
be refs

then clement was there
he was dam dam funnie sia
irriate me hor
i say this girl is nice
then he will say he intro me
then the whole freakin afternoon and evening and night
he keep hinting me to go intro to her
....

i like wtf...
man i live in the old world order..
i don realli come out of my shell for this kinda of thing dude.
its like asking me to tell zension his love of his life loves him
i have no heart no gut no nothing

rushing was never my style
and i always regret it if i rushed stuffs
if i cant get to know the girl then fine its ok
at least let me get use to the fact

u know i started to feel comfortable ard girls onli 2 years ago man? ( i mean beside her )
haha i have pobhia for girls last time.
ya thinking about it

lol i am crappin
ya clement don match make me
i aint ready cause i have lots of stuff
my studies dying
my debts rising ( i still owe u for the movie tickets )
my time disappearing

ya maybe why would i need a girl
when i am down at least my day would be light by her
i still love my girl.
but shes so far away now...

- saw her again -
yet she don know that i am looking out for her
no matter how far...

sigh

ya quite a long entry hmm

your love is like a shadow at 8:56 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

___ Transformer [ lotsa sound effects ]

ya watched it with clement and zension they all
it was nice
at least that guy got a pretty babe in the end

ya

sigh

troublesome me

better go sleep

bye

your love is like a shadow at 8:47 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Monday, July 2, 2007

__ the time approaches __

i can feel it
everytime like this
i keep losing stuff
and feel that theres more to it

now i lost my com charger
so freakin broke
cant even buy 1 more
so ya shit man
i gonna live on without com

so ya

who cares

whooo raahhh

your love is like a shadow at 6:57 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Sunday, July 1, 2007

___ growing to believe ___

Wow, its july already, wasted 7 months
on nothing but games and more games
slack and more slack

i need to get my self up soon
or i would be selling balloons by the street
sigh
i miss her

i wonder who she is looking at now
i got new movies and games these few days
more would come i hope
spidy 3 POTC 3 Goal 2 so on
Fifa games and ya

sigh

suddely i am a leader in my modules groups
o gonna on nervous breakdown
i cant even handle a gir
lhow i handle a group
how can i look at them when i fail
how can i be suddenly a leader
not a followeri

cant do anything

i am just a stupid dumb

dave

in this clever world

i am

nothing

without

you

[ You are the only thing in my heart that i cannot and will not replace ]
- and so it starts -

your love is like a shadow at 9:26 AM
0 said we can't be wrong together

Monday, July 30, 2007

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Monday, July 16, 2007

I wanna say

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Friday, July 13, 2007

I realised..

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Yesterday and today

Monday, July 9, 2007

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Monday, July 2, 2007

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Myself & I

Friends

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