It's all about God, me and you

Saturday, August 23, 2008

While in Winton, I did some baking for the lovely people in the medical centre and the ambo station, which explains the masterpiece above. =)

Also while in Winton, I wrote a song, which I completed a couple of weeks ago. It talks about my relationship with God which got a bit messed up when I was there because of loneliness and lack of support. Instead of drawing closer to Him during desperate times, I found myself drifting further apart from Him. Life got tough - BUT, God broke through to me. I related so much to the story of the prodigal son in the Bible.
God is awesome. He never lets us go, even if we try to let go.
So the song - ignore the cheesy-ness. It's a song between me and my Lover, so there!

Missing You
(c) Ruth Tay

Words unspoken
From a distance you speak
But I will not listen
My heart seemed to have grown cold
It's like you're not there for me anymore

How long, how long will this go on?

(And you asked me)
Don't you remember
The times when it was just the two of us
And we basked in the moment
Free from the cares of this world
I miss you
I miss us
Lets start all over

Alone in my room I cry
My world is falling apart
I'm so ashamed when I realised
What a foolish thing it was to let you out of my life

I can't take this loneliness no more
Oh no

Yes I remember
The times when it was just the two of us
And we basked in the moment
Free from the cares of this world
I miss you
I miss us
Lets start all over

(wee instrumental bit) :)

And now down by your feet I sit
Listening to the stories of old

This post was written at 8:53 PM

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Excel -

I decided to have a relaxing night tonight, watching the guys & girls from Excel perform in Elim church tonight. They were amazing! If only I could sing as well as them! It just reminded me how God has given each of us talents, and we should use the talents to the max. And these people have done it! I am still amazed that this Christian school is training students individually to excel in their talents and at the same time use their talents as an evangelistic tool. I must say, if I weren't in med school, performing arts is something I'd love to be involved in! =)

Their theme for their performance this year is "Love is". Basically it talks about God's unconditional love for us, based on the parable of the prodigal son. I was reminded that we should be imitators of Christ. Just as Jesus loves us with an unconditional love, so should we too. I am not the best in this area of loving unconditionally. I usually attach conditions in people-relationships; and tonight was an eye-opener. I was reflecting on the various friendships that I have and how I have judged them because in my mind, they have wronged me. I have to learn to love them as God loves them and it is a choice that I am ready to make. It may seem like a small step to take, but I'm sure it will make a huge difference.

On another note, the whole hospital is closed tomorrow because of a tummy bug-virus outbreak. I've never seen it get this serious before - someone must have been neglecting proper handwashing =P (I'm assuming). So that means, I can have a sleep in tomorrow because my scheduled 9am start is now cancelled because we can't use the lecture theatre =)

Back to what I was talking about earlier, I was thinking a bit about the talents that God's given me. Music, song writing, creativity in art, craftwork - just to name a few. I realised that I haven't done most of them in a while. Maybe I'll pick it up again in the next 3 weeks as I don't have any major assessments. They can be my break from studying =) I miss having the time to do all these things that I love. I'm glad I have the music team to be a part of here. There's nothing else more rewarding than giving the talents that God's given me back to Him.

This post was written at 10:47 PM

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Friday, August 15, 2008

Proclaim it! -

I PASSED my rural GP attachment!

Yay!

Call me pessimistic, but I was ready to embrace the words "You have a conditional pass because you failed your MCQ". The MCQ exam on Wednesday was really hard! I was almost hyperventilating before seeing my course convenor earlier this morning for my results. In the midst of my prayer, I felt God say "I have not given you a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind". Immediate peace fell upon me, and as much as I believed God has already given the pass, I was ready to embrace my results, no matter what the outcome.

I'm so stoked I passed! =)
God's awesome!!!

I think that's another 'kick-in-the-butt' moment where I really need to get myself together and start studying intensely for exams, which is only 11 weeks away now! (Hmm, I knew it was soon, but I didn't realise it was THAT soon! I really better start studying lots!) A start to many nights in the library perhaps?

I cannot express how marvelous God is - countless blessings in my life. I owe Him everything.

Recently I was intrigued by the passage of the fig tree in Luke 13:6-9. For a while, I was clueless as to what it meant. A man had a fig tree and he wanted to cut it down because it was not bearing fruits for him. He told his servant to cut it down, but his servant said to leave it alone for a year until he digs around it and fertilises it. If it bears fruit then that's good, if not it will be cut down (paraphrased). This passage was on my heart for a few days, and I talked about it with Kern on Wed and asked what he thought about it. 'Second chances' was his reply. It suddenly became crystal clear. God is a God of second chances; because if we read the earlier bit of Luke 13, God was calling for people to repent. Repentance. That was the theme in church on Sunday as well. I believe that it is time people stop going their own way (myself included) and look up to God. Funny things happening around the world remind me that the end times are drawing near.

This post was written at 5:56 PM

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Life -

Sunrise from my Winton house

Two exams done, one more to go tomorrow, and that is it for my rural attachment. After 3pm tomorrow I can breathe a sigh of relief. This GP thing is one where you cannot pick an area to study, because studying for it is like picking a drop of water out of the sea. You can never learn enough. And I think that's why I find it depressing at the moment, because I might study for one thing, and realise that it's not in the exam and I don't know how to answer the questions in the exam confidently and that makes me feel like I don't know anything. And that feeling is not a good one. You can visualise how my confidence level can go ka-put just like that. Nevertheless I shall persevere. I'm sure I'll do ok, just not as good as how I'd like it to be.

Drawing near to the checkpoint of my years as a medical student, I have thought many times whether I am in the right profession. I know that I'm not in for the money or the title; but that I have the passion to help people - sometimes, it can get a bit too much. I get emotionally tripped by some patients - those that I want to go the extra mile for, but can't because I don't have the expertise in the area. It's kind of the feeling where you see all those unfortunate kids and families from countries like Africa that they show on tv, and you want to help them all and give them a better life; but you can't because you don't have all the resources to, and your heart just breaks for them. One person at a time. I shall endeavor to touch one life at a time. Lets just pray that I don't grow cold during the process. I can see how doctors can get so tight with time that patients become a medical condition and no longer people. =S

"You must take care of yourself before you can take care of others." This is something that I've learnt to appreciate, because it is important that we look after ourselves (physically, spiritually, emotionally) so that we are well to take care of others' needs. I know I struggle a lot with the emotional side of things. But like Paul said " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and to Him, I will lift up my eyes and turn to for strength - because I know I cannot do this on my own.

People relationships can be a difficult one - some people drain you and some uplift you. I'm still finding that balance. I like the idea of just being around people who uplift me and ignore those who drain me but I will never learn the art of handling difficult relationships that way eh?

Trying to capture the big moon on one of my drives back to Dunedin. Captured the moo-moo cows in the process too.

This post was written at 10:15 PM

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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Fruits -

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Gentleness
Faithfulness
Self-control

Can other people see those fruits in our lives?
Even when the going gets tough, will we still be faithful and trust God to help us produce those fruits in our lives?

This post was written at 1:01 PM

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