Sunday, April 27, 2008

O Praise Him -

God has been teaching me to praise Him no matter what the circumstance. It's so much easier to praise Him when things are going good, and a *tad* harder when it's just not our day. Yesterday was one day when things were just not going my way. I fell sick and just wanted to stay in bed to rest and recuperate. But I also had other things to do, actually lots of other things to do! Due to my hectic week at uni this week, I had put lots of things on hold, especially my preparation for exams and all that (study-wise). But I was reminded at prayer meeting on Thursday to 'Be still and know that I am God'. It's just awesome to see what God does when you let Him take control of every situation in your life, and not worry about things. In His amazing ways, in His amazing time, He makes all things beautiful!

I found out on Thursday morning that I was accepted to do my elective in London! Yay! So at this stage I'll be going to London in Nov til Christmas (my first Christmas in winter! Like actual winter! =) I wonder if it would be a white Christmas..hmm) And I think the next two electives will be in Singapore and Brunei respectively, unless God chooses another way.

Let me tell you about Africa. I've always wanted to go to Africa and do mission stuff. I don't know if I've shared it with you already, but it is my utmost dream to be able to serve in Africa as a doctor. About a month ago, I had the feeling that the door to go to Africa on my elective was closed, but upon prompting from friends, I decided to try and make sure that the door is not closed yet. Like was it just stuck and needed a shove or was the door shut for sure? With a little investigation over the past 2 weeks, I met new friends who had contacts around the world, what more contacts in Africa, people who were based as doctors in Africa itself! I was stoked and gave them my contacts and prayed and see what God made of it. Having some hope that there's still a chance. At the end of this week, I got a reply from one of the medical officers in Brunei that they are not going to approve my plan for an elective due to safety reasons. Fair enough. At least I know now that God has shut the door. It's not like I haven't tried. I am at peace with the plans that God has for me. He has a plan for me this summer to go to the places that He has chosen me to go, and if they are to be UK-Singapore-Brunei, then so be it. There's no point trying to have my way and end up outside of God's will. God does care for my safety as well, so I guess He wants to make sure that I make it back to NZ next year to graduate as a doctor, and do heaps with my life as a doctor then. He will provide me a trip to Africa one day, I know, now's just not the time. =)

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Friday, April 18, 2008

Turn it around -

God's doing amazing things right here right now! Last night, it was just me and Dennis at prayer meeting and we had a great time praying and worshiping God! There is a huge movement in the Spirit right now. God is moving! And to add to that, at Oxygen that was the theme that was coming up time and time again. God's movement. I just have such an excitement in my spirit, and I can't wait to see what God's going to do this year!

I AM SO EXCITED!

There is so much that God has revealed to me over the past week. I can only stand in awe of what He has done - in my life and in the lives of my friends around me. All glory to God.

Other things: I've now got this program installed on my laptop to record songs, and I was recording a couple of my songs yesterday and this morning. I never knew how difficult it could be recording songs. I've done one properly - but if you listen to it, there's so many 'cacatness'. I think it's going to be a while before I can do all of them properly and perhaps release an EP. haha. =)

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Saturday, April 12, 2008

God says -

The past few weeks I was trying to find for air tickets to Fiji, Australia, Brunei, anywhere outside New Zealand, because I just wanted to get out of the country for a break. The traveling times were sometimes next week, or during my hols in June. But I've never managed to secure those cheap deals that were going round. I got so frustrated over that.

And then God spoke to me over this weekend and I got some revelation.

One thing I realised, I couldn't have traveled outside NZ next week anyway because my passport is still with the Immigration Dept sorting out the visa. D-uh. I hope my passport comes back to me soon though. It has been a while...hmm.

And the next one, God said that I shouldn't spend my money traveling this year. He told me to do something else with it - to invest it in building His Kingdom. Wisdom tells me that I should have sought God more in this matter rather than going my own way at the start. It would have saved me a lot of frustration. =) You have no idea how I've seen good deals to fly somewhere else, only to know they were gone the next time I checked. Man, some people are quick! God shut the doors so much with my travel plans, I am quite certain that He wants me to be around in Dunedin during my holidays. What for? I have no clue as yet. We'll find out eh. I love surprises!

So yea. Goodbye Australia and Fiji plans. I'll visit you when God allows me to.

I'm more excited at being able to help others to fulfill the call of God on their lives. It's a small sacrifice that I have to make. I was reminded today, if you're faithful in the little He's called you to do, He'll entrust you with bigger things to take care of. And THAT I look forward to.

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Friday, April 11, 2008

Go far far away -

Far far away I tell you.

So I experienced a spiritual attack this week. Spiritual depression. Ugh. Yucks. I'm glad I'm out of it. It took me a while to figure it out. And honestly, I haven't sorted it out 100%, but I know I'll get there. I have a supportive spiritual family here who'll help me out. So Mr Devil, I ask you to go far far away from me.

God has already told me that I'm beautiful, musical, artistic, smart, worth more than diamonds, precious, wonderfully made. You cannot put lies into my head and trick me that I'm not.

Tomorrow will be good. It was already great to have that breakthrough tonight. It was also amazing to have a couple of guy musos at the women's conference. When we had prayer before the meeting started, they really prayed a prayer of breakthough for us ladies. It was awesome! I felt quite ashamed of myself because even I wasn't praying that hard out and here were two gentlemen shouting out prayers for us!

I really thank God for the people that He's brought to my path the past week. One person I really appreciate is Nick B. I used to be intimidated by him; I found him to be someone who speaks his mind and jokes in ways where sometimes I wonder whether he's actually serious or not. =) But over the years as I get to know him better, he's actually a gentleman at heart! He does tease me quite a bit; but it's the little things that he does for example, sorting out my cables and plugs for me, helping me carry stuff, fiddling around with the sounds on my keyboard when I play for a laugh. Nick B; thumbs up to you!

A lot of things are going though in my life and others. So I am going to fast and pray for breakthrough. How? I don't know as yet. I still need to figure out how I'm going to handle the next few days. But when I get the chance to finally sit down and have a breather to think, I'll make plans, and maybe share it with you then as well.

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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Reflection -

We're performing this song for Emerge this weekend. Not an easy song to play I must say, and I find it ironic how it actually sums up what I am feeling this week. I wonder how many people actually do it - this whole mask thing. I'm sure we all have various degrees of putting on a mask and letting the whole world know that we're doing fine when we actually are not. But how much is too much?

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Friday, April 04, 2008

TGIF -

Another week, another birthday.
This time it's my lil' cousin in Brunei by the name of Joel. =)
Happy birthday Joel!


And tomorrow it's mum's birthday! (Happy birthday Mom!) Yay for mum! She's going to climb Mount KK today with dad and his collegues from work. Exciting!! I'm so jealous cos I want to climb Mount KK too. Another time eh.

It's one hour to my MCQ exam. I really should be studying, but my brain doesn't want to. I think I've been 'over-studying' this week in preparation for so many assessments. Well, it's only 3 but still, there's lots to cover. I just hope I don't fail by doing silly mistakes. I already felt like kicking myself yesterday for not doing as well as I would have liked under pressure with the OSCE stations. Ah well. As long as I pass. I cringe at the thought of it being a marginal pass. Nonetheless I claim that I am a child of God and God always blesses his children and gives them the best. So I WILL do well in this exam! (Let me hear a resounding AMEN!) =)

So in 3 hours, I'll be done with the orthopaedic attachment and might not be part of the team anymore(unless I choose to do ortho in my TI year). And in 3 hrs, I will be relaxing and enjoying my weekend, a long one it will be! Oh yea! God is good! =) He really helped me survive this run.

And I am reminded of our faith, or should I say, my faith. It's interesting how easy it can be shaken. I was listening to a sermon the other day entitled 'stand firm in faith' and it was based on the Scripture in Isaiah 7:9 "If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all" So our faith has to be deeply rooted, with a strong firm foundation in God, with full and utmost trust in Him so that we will stand (Hebrews 12:2).

And to resonate with that, Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith, it is impossible to please God.

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