who am i? what am i?

these should be defined by self but i really have no idea.

with that uncertainty, i tend to suit up to the form as to what others had spoke of about me.

i am sure that some things they spoke of about me can be true.
but then again, they can't be absolutely certain, and yet, they had delivered their judgement about me

most foolishly even, i would take account to those words and believed it.

i know i am not an open book. i'm a difficult person.

i have no idea why my protection wall is built so high up and so broad apart and it is still growing..

trusting a person had been easy.

i do know that in life, sometimes effort do not reflects in the outcome. it is not recognized.

but little did i know that even in human relationship, it is so too.

when i saw someone i like. i delivered the truth about myself. i'm completely naked out front.

i report every movement and every moment. my history and my future.

this is my dedication, my commitment.

maybe i am hoping to hold you down and keep you close with such a thing that is meaning a lot to me, but apparently naught to you.

i am a little snowflake, tainted by your dirty hands and then melted away so delicately. The mighty you just by looking upwards, there will be tons of my kind that can replace me.


people lie. The lie that smashed my love into smithereens. my love is pounded in repetition and spitted in disregard.

i once had that two sided love.

but i was the one that moved away as a half from the whole heart and made a crack in between our love. nothing was done on my part but my partner noticed that crack and tried to repair with his time and effort.

all i did was kept moving away. until one fine day, it broke into two. silently and ghostly, the other half the heart was gone like the wind.

sometimes i even wonder if that part of the memories that we share, did ever existed at all.

it was too sudden. i didn't realized and it didn't hurt, until time seeped in and the things that he gave me and the places that we go to became a haunting memory. it was like a broken heart with a slow and gradual flow of blood