.nothing is what it seems in this realistic world of ours.

What a nice holidays indeed. Yeah, nice... Hope you can sense that im sorta being sarcastic. How great can a hols be with as little sleep as normal days, a lot more hw, same amount of problems bugging me, blah blah blah... Well, most of it is what I caused myself to have one. Anyway having any regrets will help nothing, no point crying over split milk.

Got my progress report out. Doesnt look as good as i thought. thanks to some NICE grades i have which i had forgotten. Guess my memory has great filtration skills, making the happy one vivid, and hiding the bad one.... Rememering only the impressive ones and not the others. I had failed 2 tests, and one of them being english, the other was expected, chem. Average percentage wasn't any better.

Performing for speech day and guess what, we had to wear ethnic costume. How crappy can it get... Just shit the teacher to hell for the damn great suggestion. You really have great ideas. Well, sometimes when you want to lie, can you please tell some believeable one and not one which makes us question the credibility. Anyway, i really dread going for CCAs now, having to see the great teacher, and best of all talk to him makes me wanna feel like puking. I really wish i had not taken up this position in the comittee, just because of of this, im obliged to make so much commitments. Tks for the tempting CCA points...

Perhaps as what py had mentioned in her blog, we cant have everything. I really love any other thing about choir except the teacher. My juniors are really a great bunch of ppl, instructor was good, other teachers in charge is okay, well, except that one who can really spoil my mood. Was so the pissed and angry this afternoon. My mood really plunged to the lowest of the pit today. what great fashion sense does he have, well, quit bullshitting to me, im no kid! What The Hell...

-i cant be what i want right, you force me to be one...-

.dang!.

Had been neglecting this blog of mine lately, but i think tis may happen quite often in future. Because ive been very lazy to switch on the computer just to blog, i had lost my interest in almost everything...

Went to watch Disney on Ice yesterday. It was great, except that the things there can really be expensive. Imagine a small ice ball [like traditional ice kachang, except tat it is smaller] with a disney mug cost 14 dollars, a packet of candy floss with a mickey crown cost 12 dollars and a large packet of popcorn in a Disney bucket cost 16 dollars. Well, imagine...

no matter wat, the show is relatively nice, but not nice till WOW type... after the show we went really crazy, taking photographs like we just knew the squarish gadget can draw pictures of us in it. der... we just went over the moon. Had a great lots of fun at Kallang River, and also had problem going home cos' we were sort of lost in our small island and unable to get a cab... This is something I know i should be shameful of. Still managed to get home though. Reached home really wiped out and just bathed and slept.

Despite the insuffiecient sleep over the past few days, i still managed to crawl out of my sleeping territory and get my ass to school for the dreadful choir practice. Not really that dreadful after all, just that I did not went out for lunch with my juniors and others after the practice, and i turned down pohyu because of this. I then realised I am gonna be stuck at home alone, but I went to my mum's the childcare instead and slacked there playing with a small children's toy vehicle, which I am clueless what is it called. I just had to turn the handle and it moves without me using my legs to push, amazing right? Okay, it's just a kiddish toy and i shouldn't get so fasinated over it. Then went home and slept till dinner time. Great time management huh. I did not complete my hw as planned, well, plans for and by my usually go awry... This is why it makes life more "exciting"...

-noted that now most children sleeps lying flat down in their face...-

.Down.

I wanna cry I wanna scream till my lungs tear I wanna pummel myself

I just want hide in the small corner of my own.
I just want to be a stalwart girl.

-Is it too much...?-

.slacked off.

Well, as the title suggests, im just slacking my minutes, hours days and weeks away.. My slack is really lazing around, and not doing anything. It seems that other classes are all so stressed up and me so relaxed. i actually spent my whole night lying on the cold and icy floor, just listening to the radio and staring blankly in the ceiling. Do not like the feel of that although i should be enjoying while it lasts. Ironic.

Perhaps all come from a single root of cause, which is all my feelings bottled up in me, making me a wierdo. I've not any slightest idea what is happening in me. I could sense a change in my thoughts and ME...

- i want back my fulfilled life with accomplishments, i do not like the feeling of nothingless. as i said in my previous entry...-

.blah blah blah.

Did nothing much today.

Just woke up, rushed through morning routine, went to sch, underwent approx. 2 hrs of boring SS, lunch, BOUGHT JJ's CD!!, went home, slept, went to CGH in the evening, dinner, and home.

Really nothing much. So nothing much here as well...

-Feeling nothinglessness is bad... Real bad...-

.review.

This is a new blogskin, and i finally got it done, although it took me ages. Nevertheless, i think it looked alright.

Many things had happened in my life these past few months and i guess words just aren't enough to explain all that had happened.

I will just try to let bygones be bygones and carry on this crappy life of mine.

There are times when i really appreciate the creation of the water heater, as i difinitely like the feeling of the warm water flowing from my head till the last strand of my hair. Taking away with it the worries, problems and the so many other things and having it all gushed into the drain.

If things were that simple, I would not have that much problems. But i certainly like the feeling of being cleansed.

I am beginning to see the irony of life, and how complicated it can be. People maybe all hiding behind their own masks and portraying what they want others to depict them to be. This reminds me of the movie "Memoirs of Geisha", where behind the beautiful, thick, white makeup lies all the lines of ambiguity.

How ironic is it when we always grumble about people faking, and yet we will still say when they are being their true self.

I think i had changed a great deal, and perhaps i had been too stressed up in the past few weeks. i just want to put in my best effort and not regret like what i did in pri 6. Thus, i'll also take this opportunity to apologise to those people who i had hurt in either ways, i had never meant to be like that...

-seeing him no longer makes my heart jumps, it just makes my heart ache...-
Listening to some songs can really make me tear... i have not the slightest idea why they have such huge hidden power in them to be able to move me...