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  1. Home - The Onion

    Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in …

  2. Latest - The Onion

    2 days ago · The latest satirical news and humorous articles from The Onion.

  3. Politics Archives - The Onion

    4 days ago · President Donald Trump has frozen more than $3 billion in grants and contracts as his feud with Harvard University continues to escalate. The Onion shares…

  4. Today Now Archives - The Onion

    Jun 6, 2025 · Today Now Archives features satirical news content from The Onion, offering humorous takes on current events and societal issues.

  5. About Us - The Onion

    3 days ago · The Onion is the world’s leading news publication, offering highly acclaimed, universally revered coverage of breaking national, international, and local news events. Rising …

  6. Breaking News: All Online Data Lost After Internet Crash - The Onion

    Jul 2, 2007 · Onion News Network Trump Announces Seal Team 6 Killed U.S. Protester In Daring Overnight Raid Ozempic User Explains How Weight Loss Changed The Way People Slapped …

  7. News Archives - The Onion

    2 days ago · LOS ANGELES—Triumphantly planting the pole firmly into the ground, U.S. Marines reportedly raised the American flag outside a cell phone store Thursday after defeating a…

  8. Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope - The Onion

    May 8, 2025 · The Onion Store; Instagram; Twitter; Facebook; YouTube; TikTok; Bluesky; Tumblr; Free your wallet. Shop The Onion Store. Newsletter. Instagram; Twitter; Facebook; …

  9. Video - The Onion

    Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault. Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in …

  10. American Voices Archives - The Onion

    3 days ago · The Onion's American Voices section features satirical opinions and commentary on current events and cultural issues.