The story:
I am {usually} very in charge of my life and plans. I like things mapped out to a T
(don't look in my phone notes or you will find the month and year that each child will be conceived and born...)
So according to this plan, we were going to start trying for #3 in November or December of 2014, that way Alex would be about 3 when baby would be born. We wanted to space our kids out a little bit to be able to relax and enjoy (in our minds). I had just gotten down to my desired weight; joined a gym and had been going regularly -- LOVING the hard classes; I was going to do a triathlon this summer; we were literally booking our tickets to Peru/South America for March to visit Machu Picchu....
and then BAM.
Lives changed with a missed period and two little purple lines.
So I cried for a while. A few weeks probably. I was just not ready for this at all. Alex had barely turned one and wasn't walking or talking, had just broken his leg, we were sick non-stop with flus and fevers and ear infections, Claire had to get glasses, we had hand-foot-and-mouth disease and all sorts of bad luck happening in our house. Adding this news was just the icing on the cake. I don't mean to be insensitive or ungrateful, it's just huge life-changing news that's handled better when it's expected. I wasn't ready for another c-section so soon and all the incredibly hard stuff that comes with having a newborn. I wasn't ready for a bigger car, I wasn't ready for another crib and baby space to think about, I wasn't ready to be outnumbered!
But I went ahead and started a journal and prayed to be more excited.
But slowly and surely, the fear and anxiety has been replaced with peace. I still have my moments when we're sitting in Costa Vida with both kids in tow and I think, "How the H are we going to do this with another one?" The answer is we're not. Ha. We won't be going out much at all. Which will be hard. Having number 3 will rock my world. And not just that it's 3, but that it's 3 under the age of 4. Alex and this baby will be 21 months apart (I know, it could be worse).
I think it's partly why I waited so long to officially announce it, too. I just wasn't ready for it yet. The doctor said my chances of having placenta previa again went up and that we'd have to wait and see at the 20 week ultrasound. Thanks to my family, we had a fast and lots of prayers were said in my behalf and I'm happy to report from the ultrasound today, that the placenta is right where it's supposed to be -- HIGH!
Cute baby profile with hand up to face.
Today after ultrasound and large In 'n Out celebration meal:
No placenta previa! I was so worried about what I'd do on best rest with 2 young kids and all that it entails. But miracles happen and it scooted right up past my old incisions/scar tissue. So relieved about that.
We aren't finding out gender on this one. We always said that we'd try to do that on baby #3 and especially now that we have a boy and a girl, it's going to be a surprise! Hasn't been hard at all. Even at the ultrasound today when she kept telling us to look away, I wasn't tempted at all to look. Baby looks happy and healthy and we can't wait to see what another cute Garrison baby looks like!
And with this surprise, I have learned that I am not always the one in charge. I can plan my life and chances are, it'll go pretty close to that. But sometimes, God knows best and He is definitely in charge. This little one is meant to be here now and there's probably a reason. I know it will be worth it and that this huge surprise will end up being one of the greatest surprises of my life.
