This bit of information is dominating my thoughts and how it relates to my life, specifically my life as an artist. All in a good awakening way. I had just turned 58 yrs. old when I began on my creative path in 2011. I had asked God to be show me what I was suppose to do with the rest of my life. I believed with every fiber in me that I was to be creative in some way. I had no idea what to do or which way to go so I just began. Putting one foot in front of the other, believing that I would be guided. (if you want to read more about those earlier steps you can read previous posts on this blog)
Nine years later I look back with extreme gratitude of all the connections I've made, the art I have created, the opportunities I've been offered, all that I've learned along the way, the people who have been moved by my art, my growth as an artist...this list goes on and on.
I feel in my gut there is more. I ask myself what my belief is to this feeling? I look back at photos some of my previous art and it is evident that I have grown. Yet what I am aware of is when I present my art to the world there is an underlying sentiment that I pulled it off instead of being proud of the art I created. So... this brings up the question for me - am I truly honoring and believing the gift God gave me in 2011? I'd have to say no. My ego/critical self is tossing in it's doubtful thoughts to keep me small. My desire is to create art from the place of absolute belief. I can overcome those obvious hiccups that will present it's self along the way.
As I was expressing all of this thru journaling, the little whispers returned urging me paint with oil to pull out the oil painting I did in 2015. When I looked at it I thought to myself, "That's pretty darn good!" I had heard those little urgings before today then why didn't I listen? My response is self-doubt. I'm listening now.
"A belief is something you know with total and absolute certainty. It's a thought that you've decided - consciously or unconsciously - is the Truth. Our beliefs are the root of our reality and our results."
Here is the oil painting I did in 2015 of Katy Perry when she was on the cover of CoverGirl magazine.
