Balance

I am a seeker of balance
When to push thru
When to let go

From within the answer lies
I close my eyes,
Breathe deeply
Then I know

Resistance

A couple weeks ago I was asked to paint another original piece of art like a previous piece.
I had never done this before and quite honestly I was a little reluctant to even attempt it. I could list all the logical  reasons not to do it and every reason could be quite convincing.  Yet I was drawn to the idea.  Not in a negative way, it was more like a urging to move onward.  I chose to sit with it.  Meditate on it.  My thoughts began to shift.  I no longer viewed it as a challenge instead I saw it as an opportunity for growth.  Once again to overcome resistance (otherwise identified as fear). 90% of the time I create art from my heart,  I do not document the paint colors, the techniques I did, etc.  Which was the #1 item on my list of reasons not to do this.

What I discovered, by following thru with creating this piece is the essence remains the same...it's

Art from my Heart.

I am so grateful that I believed enough to conquer any imagined fear.

What are you resisting that could potentially propel you forward?

Confession

I just have to share this story.  The other day I told it to my friend, Carol, which caused her to burst out loud with laughter.

Last week my 61/2 years old GRANDdaughter got out her sketch book and proceeded to draw me.  I was smitten to watch, from the corner of my eye, while she looked at me then drew a little, then looked at me again and drew some more.  My heart was melting with pure love and connection in that moment.  I was smiling from ear to ear.  Several times I had to focus on my breathing to prevent tears from flowing down my cheeks, I was that moved.  She told me not to look because she wanted it to be a surprise.  She continued to draw.  A short while later she was finished and proudly exclaimed.... "Here you go, Grandma!"

My jaws ached from smiling so big!!!

We talked about the picture.  Delaina began to tell me what everything was and I could even visualize her concept.  I'm sitting on a loveseat with my legs crossed.  There is a lamp behind me (not a floating hat).  She gave me longer hair just to see what I would look like.  OK - I get all that.  I asked her what the lines were on my face and she said, "Those are the ones that you have when you smile".  What??  I maintained my loving GRANDma composure while my inner critic was gleefully jumping up and down with joy  that I was just told I had big lines on my face.   I politely excused myself to the bathroom with the intention of confirming that this was a false speculation.  Can you imagine my dismay when I smiled into the mirror and I actually saw those same lines?  I was floored!!  I had no idea!!

Fast forward...when I got home that evening I looked into the mirror and smiled again.  Damn...those lines were still there.  I was taken back by the way those lines were impacting my esteem.  I stood in front of the mirror trying to find a way to smile that wouldn't show those lines.  There was none.  It was then I realized I was at a crossroads.  I could let those smiles lines bother me enough that it would affect my inner joy and I would stop smiling "from my heart" OR I could embrace them.   It didn't take me long to put it all in perspective.  They are only lines, that's all.  I am going to continue to smile!  I, now, see them as quotation marks, to mark the beginning and end of a smile from my heart!